It’s Time For… THE Talk

Oh, yes, my Satanic Sweethearts, it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees… the horizontal tango… the, um… sex. Yeah, I’m here today to talk to you about the sex. It’s a personal topic for some and just a water-cooler discussion for others. Everybody’s relationship to sex is different and will change depending on upbringing, religious beliefs, socio-economic status, and more.

I’m here today to talk to you about the Satanic view of sex. I will pos be including an interview I conducted with a woman Heidee Nytes who works in the adult film industry for an inside look into the mind of somebody who has made a lucrative perfusion of acts that make the meek blush. But first, MY Satanic perspective on sex.

Again I would like to reiterate that while I am a MEMBER of the Church of Satan, I am not an Active Member (Yet) and do not act as a spokesperson for the Church of Satan and do not speak for it or other members!

Okay, here it goes: I don’t give a fuck what you do in the bedroom. I don’t. Honestly, I’m not sure why anybody cares about what anybody else does in their lair during intimate moments. Well, as long as everybody is of age, has the ability to consent, and has already consented. Now, the wording here is designed to be careful.

First off, everybody has to be of age. To me, that means 18. I know the “age of consent” is different from state to state, but come on, have you met teenagers? I have and I don’t see why anybody would want to hang out with any of them for an extended period of time, let alone engage in a sexual relationship. Next, everybody must have the ability to consent. That means animals can’t consent and babies can’t consent and drunk/drugged people can’t consent and people with disabilities can’t consent. If somebody can’t consent, you can’t get on with the nasty. Lastly, everybody has to consent. Seriously this is so important. YOU don’t want to be accused of rape, do you? Then who cares if “the mood” is ruined because you have to look a person in the eyes and make sure they want you like you want them. It’s just safe that way.

After all that, I don’t care who or what you do or how often or with what or how many. I don’t. You know why? Because it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t wake up in a cold sweat each night every time a man goes to bed with another man or a group decides to have a threesome. I just don’t care. I don’t care if you like to lick feet or having cherries in a woman’s nose turns you on.

BUT, I do want you to be able to get your rocks off. Everybody has the right to enjoy what they enjoy, no matter how off-broadway those desires may be. A person who has a hand in making sure that people get what they want is Heidee Nytes. Heidee works with David Harris, a Magister of the Church of Satan and producer of custom adult films, which I’ve spoken about in detail in a pervious blog post.

I wanted to ask her a few questions so that we might get some insight into a profession most of us are willing to watch, enjoy, and then demonize because Christian values have made us thing that we should be ashamed of the pleasures of the flesh.

So, without further ado, our wonderful Heidee Nytes!

5aeb32b2064ae-nadia.jpg
From ‘Nadia and the Therapist’, Photo taken from AVN.com

1- What is your official job title?

I have so many “jobs!” As Heather Height I am a stand up comedian a freelance journalist and writer, a film producer, a wife and a mom.
As Heidee Nytes I’m a fetish model and a Pro Domme.
I guess my most “official” job title is VP of Dave’s Custom Media: Davescustommedia.com
2- What is your relationship to Satanism?
I am an active member in The Church of Satan where I have earned my other most official title of Witch Heather Height.
3- Do you have any misconceptions about the field you work in that you would like to clear up?
As far as stand-up:
1. There is not one element of comedy that some drunk know-it-all audience member can elucidate for any comic before, during or after the show.
2. No, drunk girl in the front row, you are not “helping.”
3. It is not the comedians job to care about your feelings, that’s why it’s not called a stand-up compassion show.
In regards to fetish modeling and being a Domme:
1. I don’t do blow jobs, I make subs blow other people.
2. Yes, I love what I do, but I also like to get paid for doing it. This is my work, don’t try to get me to Domme you for free. (This happens more than you would think.) Some guy wants me to write him an email explaining what I would do to him, that takes time. He’s basically asking me to write a short erotica for him for free. To quote Goodfellas, “Fuck you, pay me!”
4- If you had a pet panda what would you name it?
Lao Tzu Flufferbottoms
5- What’s your favorite drink to have when you go out with friends?
I change it up from time to time, usually between gin and tonic, Bloody Mary’s or margaritas.
6- Have you ever had to deal with a stalker-like situation?
I may have had stalkers, but I either befriended them or blocked them. So it hasn’t been a problem as of yet.
7- What are you most proud of?
Jeepers, I have a lot of things that I’m proud of pretty equally, assuming you’re referring to accomplishments. I have set many goals in my life and accomplished them. (I try to keep that in mind when I’m feeling shitty about the ones I don’t accomplish.) Before I became a writer and comedian I ran the first corporate massage business in NE Pennsylvania. I will always be proud of that. Not long after becoming a writer I had several articles published in Forum Magazine without ever going to school for Journalism. The very first fetish film I did I ended up staring in and it was nominated for an XBiz award, that was pretty cool. I think the most recent thing was two things that are closely associated in my mind; I did a spread for Old Nick Magazine at the age of 45 and served as a nude altar for the 50 year celebration of the founding of The Church of Satan at 46. I’m damn proud if that!
8- Tell me about your most recent project.
My most recent completed project is our first full length adult film, Nadia and the Therapist.
It’s really been like my baby. I wrote the treatment and the screenplay. I did the set design and helped with the casting, I also costarred as the therapist. We shot the whole thing in one grueling 12 hour day! Our star, Nadia White, wasn’t feeling well all day, she did an amazing job! My husband, Magister David Harris, shot and directed with the help of our friend Wilfredo who runs Evangelinevonwinter.com with his wife. David did all the editing and got it up on our clips4sale store,  (available for purchase here:
And today, just 5 months after shooting, Nadia and the Therapist was on the front page of AVN.com!
You can read the write-up here:
9- If you could only read one thing forever what would it be?
The internet. (The author should have seen that coming)
Seriously, though, if I had to pick one book? Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk.
10- If you only had three wishes what would they be? 
Well, in all honesty,  I would go the pragmatic route and wish for infinite wishes. But in the interest of the insight that these questions are supposed to highlight:
1 That my husband and I were immortal so we could be in love forever.
2 That I could take back all the dumb parenting mistakes I made.
3 That our little Mom & Pop fetish film company grows into the porn empire that we dreamed it would one day be.
Unholy cow, guys, that was so much fun! I count myself as #blessed (ha) that members of The Church of Satan have been willing to answer my silly questions, as well as my more important questions. I hope you all really enjoyed reading these and I hope more Church of Satan members step up to the batter’s box.
Keep on enjoying life, my Friends of the Infernal Flame!
HS!
LH

Author: imasatanistand

Member of the Church of Satan, Teacher, Lighting Designer, Cat Lover

One thought on “It’s Time For… THE Talk”

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