I know my blog is called I’m a Satanist and…, but if you would have done your research, you’d know that true Satanists just use Satan as an external, fictional representation of my best self free from Abrahamic laws. I don’t actually believe that there is a real devil as described by various religions. I say this because I am also referencing the Satan Characters from all of the other religions.
There are people out there, however, who do believe in the Christian Satan and worship him as though he were real. We call these people Devil Worshippers and they make life hard for real Satanists who subscribe to the teachings of LaVey.
We who stand with The Church of Satan find ourselves constantly battling these people because they make us look really fucking bad. Just like with people who believe in God, Allah, Odin, or whatever, I say this:
Seek help for your delusions and leave us alone.
Seriously. You Devil Worshippers are make Satanists look so bad. We are constantly having to battle these perceptions that we are animal-killing, blood-drinking crazies who dance in circles around fire in the forest during the night in order to bring forth the devil for our Black Magic. I mean, the last part is pretty close but that’s just me. I like fires and dancing…
So, I fucking interviewed one.
EXTRA EXTRA WARNING: These views are NOT of the Church of Satan or Satanists. I interviewed a DEVIL WORSHIPPER!! Very different.
1- How did you first discover Satan?
2- What is your relationship with religion?
3- If the Hulk and the Predator were in battle, who would you bet on?
4- If you die and find out that we are TOTALLY wrong, what would you say to the real maker of the Universe?
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”-Thomas Jefferson
5- Garlic bread… yes or no?
Yes, however I do not eat dead animal remains. That’s disgusting and cruel. Animals are our friends. (The Author did not ask this…)
6- Do you perform any types of rituals? If so, are you willing to describe them for me?
I perform invocation and evocation rituals, mantras, and reverse Torah rituals, basically reversing the spell They have inflicted on the World through blood sacrifice and power. Rituals are essentially putting yourself into a trance like state and communicating with our gods, ‘demons’ into your Astral altar. Remember Lavey himself stated demons are real entities.
7- If you had a familiar, what would it be and why?
I would like to make my cat my familiar, but he is old.
8- You hear the World has begun a nuclear war. What is the first thing you do?
Om Namah Shivaya (That sounds delicious)
9- If the Christian God is real, what would you tell him?
If you research Ancient Sumeria, Jehova(Jewish God) is Enlil, Enki’s half-brother. ENLIL is the one who drowns humanity because they were too “noisy”. SATAN/Enki prevents that by calling on one of his humans(that Enki created. Enki is our creator God. This is proven) to survive(‘Noah’s ark’) and repopulate along with were animals and other humans.
10- Define Magic.
REMINDER: These are not the views of the Church of Satan.
Also, I am not going to say who I interviewed, even if you ask nicely. I’m just trying to learn and pass on what I find out to you, my Darling Devils. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE ARE THE VIEWS OF A DEVIL WORSHIPPER AND NOT A SATANIST. Also these answers are fucking nuts, so.
I hope you all have a great day, Friends of the Infernal Flame!