Listen, if this post isn’t something you want to hear about, click away now. I don’t want shitty comments on here because it isn’t productive. So if you’re going to be a twat, find the nearest exit (which may be behind you) and exit the plane.
So, I had a man force himself on me. I know, I’m being very blunt but I don’t want to sugarcoat this in any way.
Two years ago I was on the bus home from University and, as we were rounding a corner, the bus made a really scary sound and everybody’s eyes snapped up. I happened to make eye-contact with a guy we will call Jackson. Jackson had really pretty blue eyes and made a little worried face that made me laugh a bit, so we started talking.
When the bus stopped, we got off and started walking the same way. Then we kept walking the same way until we were at my apartment door and, as it happened, so was he! Jackson was my across-the-hall neighbor. We spoke a few times and I found out he was a Marine and was a business major. He wasn’t somebody I saw myself with, but I thought he was nice enough.
Not long after meeting, he invited me over to watch Aladdin. Though, we didn’t watch it in the living room because “his neighbors get jealous when he brings women over” so we watched it in his bedroom. Whatever, I understood hiding from my roommates because I, too, had roommates that preferred their privacy.
Well, that’s when he started trying to have sex with me. I said no and it happened anyway. That’s all I’ll say about that. After, I ran home and went to sleep. I think I had a drink and a cigarette before sleeping. I just wanted to go to bed and wake up and move on. Nobody would believe a sailor could do such a thing, right? And girls made stuff up all the time… right? So I was told.
I went to great pains to avoid Jackson and my grades and work suffered. I was often late because I was hiding away. Eventually, I stopped seeing him and figured he had moved out. Later, I met a girl in a Technical Writing class who had been one of his roommates. It turns out he had done the same thing to her that he did to me.
I also found out he had killed himself.
When I googled his name, I found his obituary and real all the loving comments below. I thought about saying something and revealing the monster that had ruined my life but I didn’t. There was no point anymore, was there?
I still don’t trust everybody and I have a hard time with some sexual things, especially near the anniversary. I’ve moved on a lot and I know it’ll be okay later, but the scars are still there.
I’m not asking for sympathy or whatever, I just wanted to tell my story and let those who may be going through this now that you’ll be okay and to urge them to report it. You’ll be okay. I promise.
The thing is, he could have gone somewhere with me if he had been patient.
Have a good Sunday, my Darling Devils.