Hey, everyone, how’s it going? I know it’s been a long while since I’ve posted, but man oh man did I need a break. The school I work at went on winter break a while ago, so I’ve been relaxing and trying to get everything in order around the house. Between that and the holidays, as well as some personal issues, I’ve been busy and tired.
But, now, I’m back and it’s almost the New Year! I gotta say, I love New Years Eve. Some people think it’s stupid because it’s a nothing date that, in the grand scheme of things, is meaningless in the universe and resolutions never stick and blah blah blah. Whatever! New Years Eve is fun and exciting! It’s a time to be with friends, drink, dance, remember, and, perhaps, change for the better.
I plan on going out with my friends, myself. For New Years Day, I’ll have sauerkraut because it’s good luck, according to my German family. Whatever, I’ll roll with it. I’m willing to try anything in order to give myself a head start.
One thing I am actively doing to “start the new year off right” is fixing my brain. I say I’m doing it for the “New Year, New Me” saying, but that’s just happenstance and cute. I have some really deep-seeded mental health issues that are buried so far down that I’ve lost what happened to even make everything shitty. What I recently found out, luckily, is that the school I work at provides free therapist services to teachers and jumped on that shit right away!
Since you’re reading this far, you’ve read the title of the blog, so I don’t really have to tell you I’m a Satanist, but I should remind anyone that I don’t believe in a real Satan. Satan is a fictional, external representation of one’s best self, free of Abrahamic laws. That means, when I say “Hail Satan”, I’m really hailing myself. I am the god of my universe. So, if I am god, I must be infallible right?
Fucking no! You’re still a human and humans are broken, meat sacks flying through a universe that doesn’t care. I am of the opinion that mental health is just as important as physical health. Hell, if your mental health is suffering, it can present itself as physical pain. I’ve spoken about their briefly before when I talked about how my anxiety causes me to puke my guts out.
You can’t make your world better if you’re broken. You can’t be your BEST SELF if you hurt yourself or kill yourself or never leave bed or never shower or see people or whatever. Get yourself mentally healthy so that you can go out and conquer the universe.
Some people probably don’t agree with me, and that’s okay, but I know that I feel better after talking to my therapist. Others may think I’m weak for not fixing it myself or whining for posting it here, but I’m not. Sometimes people need to see that others are going through what they feel in order to decide to heal. And I am strong enough to look at myself and say “Yeah, you’re fucked up” and then actually do something to fix it.
So, going into the New Year, I am taking steps to improve myself. I’m excited to see what this “new” journey around the sun has for me and what I’ll do throughout. I’ll do my damnedest to make sure it’s fun as hell.
Have a great day, my Darling Devils.