About the Author

Hello! Thank you for going so far as to click on the “About the Author” section. I assume that this means you would like to know a little bit about me. Well, let me get started.

My name is Lauren Hippenstiel and I am currently a Member of the Church of Satan… Hence the name. I am currently waiting for my active membership application to be accepted, but I am confident in my ability to charm on paper. *Cough*. Well.

I am also working as a Theatrical Lighting Designer in the Pacific Northwest corner of Washington State. I mostly work in Skagit county, but my work was also seen in King, Snohomish, and Whatcom counties. I work freelance and also for a local college, if they can’t find a student to work for free.

My day job, believe it or not, is as a middle and high school teacher of drama and set design. I also serve lunch to the students beforehand, run Drama Club and D&D club, and teach an after-school class for 3rd-5th graders. I couldn’t ask for a better way to make a living, even if it doesn’t pay much.

Funnily enough, I actually graduated from Western Washington University with a BA in English. I am currently in school getting my last few required classes I need in order to get into a Masters Program. I hope to teach English one day. Actually, I just want to teach.

I have two cats, Edwin Lucifer Hubble and Albert Asmodeous Einstein, who are the loves of my life! We are fortunate enough to be loved by my wonderful boyfriend, who I shall let remain nameless.

I hope you like to hear my opinion, even if you don’t like what I say.

Hail Satan!

LH

1) What’s your favorite horror movie?

Oh, goodness, I am a huge horror movie fan! Since I was a little girl, I’ve been surrounded by horror movies. My Grandma and I would have weekly Crappy Movie Night where we would get a scary movie from the 1960’s and watch it with popcorn. Later on, Mom would host Scary Movie Night with all of our cousins. Now, I think I own more horror movies than any other genre.

This is a really hard question, so I’ll give you a few. 1) As Above, So Below is my movie that I will watch over and over. I wanted to buy it so badly that I wrote the local movie rental store a 5 paragraph essay as to why they should sell me one of their two copies. I own it; 2) The Night of the Living Dead was my first scary movie and I got to meet Barbra once so it will always have a special place in my heart; 3) The Grudgeactually still scares the shit out of me.

2) What was your favorite subjects at school?

Jesus with these hard questions! I love learning so much that when people ask me what I would do if I won the lottery, I tell them that I would go to school forever. So, there are a lot of areas of schooling that I love and I had a really hard time deciding what to go to college for. In the end, I decided to go for what comes easiest to me.

I was a Creative Writing major at WWU and graduated with a BA in English. What’s funny is that I didn’t even discover theatre until community college, which is where I am making money, since I am a Drama Teacher and Lighting Designer.

I am also really in love with science and I was able to take an Astrobiology class in high school and it BLEW MY MIND! I love every aspect of science, even Math, in one way or another.

TL;DR: I love learning.

3) Are you introverted or extraverted?

Ya know, it really, really depends on a lot of factors. I love having time to myself where I can just listen to my music and clean or read or whatever strikes my fancy. At the same time, if I’m left alone for too long I get bored and make big forts in the middle of the living room.

If I’ve had a really long day, all I want to do id go home and see my cats. If I haven’t seen anybody in days, I start to whine at my friends to come visit me. I’m somewhere in between. I want to say there’s a word for that…

4) Have you ever spoken with Peter H. Gilmore and/or Peggy Nadramia?

HA! You’re so sweet. No, no I have not. I don’t think I’m even on their radar since I just became a member in February. One day, perhaps years in the future, I will have a big enough base for this blog and I will be able to send them some of my silly questions. Hell, maybe I’ll be able to run into them at a concert or on the street or some shit… that’d be cool.

5) What’s your favorite piece of clothing?

This actually took me a second to think about because I just love clothing. Not in the sense that I like being fashionable, but more I really love being covered and warm. I have this big-ass coat I call Big Coat that I use when I go outside, sometimes even at 60 degrees!

But, when I think about which piece of clothing I like the most, I would say my black and grey flannel. I like in the Pacific Northwest and the weather takes crazy turns from hot to cold to wind to rain to windy rain all in two hours. It’s a crazy place and the key to being comfortable is layers. That’s why we all dress the same. We know that jeans, a tank top, a tee, a flannel and a jacket works as a comfortable outfit in Washington.

I can tell you I do not like underwear. This isn’t even something that’s supposed to be sexy-like, I just REALLY hate them. I wear leggings with skirts and dresses so I don’t have to wear them. Fuck underwear.

6) Where would you want to travel to the most if money wasn’t an issue?

I would really love to go back to Edinburgh for The Fringe Fest. I was there when I was 20 to perform with Skagit Valley College. For those who don’t know, The Fringe is the largest performance festival in the world and it is so much fun! It’s tons of theatre and tons of theatre nerds taking over the bars and partying. I love it so much and I need to go back. Also the food is amazing.

My college was there to perform Elegies for Angels, Punks, and Raging Queens which is a monologue/song play that rhymes and is really, really good. It is the various stories of people who somehow got AIDS, died, and came back to tell their story. I played two people. The first was a woman who got AIDS from sharing needles and died. Her monologue included begging for money, so I would sit outside each performance with a change cup, start in the house, and yell my first line at the audience. They didn’t know I was part of the play so they just thought I was screaming about how much I love getting high.

The second was a preacher who came out to yell at everybody for being gay and stuff. It was weird because I was stepping into a character who was not only the opposite of me, but the only character with words who was “evil”.

Yeah, Scotland. I need to go back.

7) How did you become Satanist?

So, I know what you mean and I will answer that, but I do want to reiterate that Satanists are born, not made. So, I’ve always been a Satanist, I just needed to discover that.

Actually, I found The Church of Satan through music. I was hanging with my friend Colby and he locked me in a car to make me listen to a song. He was almost out and he looked back in and said “This is Ghost. They’re a Satanic band. AND THEY’RE FUNNY, TOO!” and then left.

That song was Square Hammer by Ghost BC.

After that, I just started poking around the Church of Satan’s website and listing to Podcasts like The Devil You Know and Raising Hell. They were my way of getting information before I had the means to get The Satanic Bible. Finally, I was able to get a few of the books written by LaVey and that was it. I knew.

8) Who inspires you the most (dead or alive)?

Oh, that’s easy. My Mom. I love my Mom so, so much because she made me into s strong, hard-working, caring person. She was trapped in an abusive relationship for years with the father of my little brother and sister, who I also love dearly, and she was the only person who was there for me when I was being abused by him, too. I’ll be doing a post about this in more detail later.

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My Mom and Little Brother

She’s my best friend and I would do anything for her.

9) What would be your ideal vacation?

You know if you ask me this during the winter the answer will be different. Right now, I would love to go to Europe somewhere to eat and hike. I love the history over there and the beautiful buildings. Maybe Norway since that’s where most of my DNA comes from, or Germany for the same reason.

During the winter, my answer would be Turks and Caicos with my Mom. It looks so beautiful and warm! I would love to read a book with my foot in the waves and a drink in my hand.

10) What do you think ghosts are? Or at least what so many people have seen and claim to be ghosts?

Okay so I do have a weird-ass hypothesis on what this could be but I don’t think there’s a way to test it. You know how scientists believe Gravity may be such a weak force because it’s spread thin over various alternate universes? That, but ghosts.

So, what I think is that there are an infinite amount of story lines that branch off with every choice we make. So if I make the choice to walk. across a street, in an infinite amount of universes I get hit by a car and in an infinite amount I don’t get hit. There are universes with near-misses and universes where I get hit and live and where I get hit and die. I think ghosts are just the other universes leaking over and showing us a weak image of what may be going on in a different reality we are close to.

That’s just what I think and I know it makes me sound really insane, but I explain it better in real life.