Man, is this guy special. I am very, very lucky to have this Dylan in my life. Seriously, I couldn’t imagine my life without him now that I know what it’s like to see him every day and be able to love him.
No, he is not a Satanist, but he is an atheist. I mean, I am an atheist, too, but while I was finding myself within Satanism, he was not, and that’s totally fine. As I said before, I once dated a Hardcore Christian, and one of the most annoying things of that relationship was him always trying to push his religion onto me. Ugh. Everybody knows that person, almost always Christian, who wants to save you. I’m not here to do that. If people have questions, I’ll answer them, but I’m not here to pester anybody.
So, Dylan is great, because he supports me in anything I am interested in, even if I’m not good at it. I hope that I treat him the way he deserves to be treated, even if I did accidentally take his debit card to work with me today.
We actually met on Tindr, which I never thought could work for anything but hooking up and leaving. He was actually my first ever Tindr date and he actually came to work with me. Not school, the Lighting Design one. Honestly, I didn’t believe in love at first sight until that moment I saw him waiting for me in the lobby looking lost. I know that sounds stupid, but I swear it’s true. I went up to him while his back was towards me and said
“Looking for somebody?”
And that was it. We spent all but around 15 days together since then and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been in a few relationships before this one and this is the first time I’ve wanted to be around the other person every moment of every day. We can just be ourselves around each other and that means not leaving the house and, for me, changing from Pjs to new Pjs. I like comfort.
We have been together for a year and four months now and live together with our sweet babies. I come home every day excited to see him and the boys.
So, I don’t think it matters to him that I’m a Satanist… especially since he has tattoos that would make a Christian have a heart attack. He’s pretty special to me. I’m very lucky to be able to have found somebody who is this wonderful.
Also, Since he is so important to me, the selfishness and want to improve my life I feel extends to him, as well as other important people in my life, such as my Mom. I’m very proud of all that he has done and I will continue to lift him up in any way I can… unless it involves feet.
The only thing we can’t agree on is milk. He doesn’t drink dairy milk and that’s whatever, I don’t care, I just don’t think he should be allowed to call the stuff he drinks “milk” because it’s not. Because it comes from a coconut. It’s juice.
I hope you all have a wonderful night, my loves.
P.S. He has a blog, too, so here’s a shamless plug for that. If you like movies, especially horror, check this shit out https://wp.wwu.edu/jmassacre3/
Ah, the birthday. It’s a party day for a lot of people while others would really rather let the day pass quietly, but for Satanists, it’s a holiday! Life is the all we have so we live to live, which makes the first day of life special, you follow me? Not to mention that, since I am a Satanist, I worship myself, therefore what better way to celebrate the almighty Lauren than to do what I want on the day I graced the Earth with my presence? That means I am going to spend the day and night doing what I want.
So, I started the day by going to work. Yup, I went to work. Now, on my special day, why wouldn’t I take a day off of work and relax? Well, because I had to. Yeah, I didn’t really have a choice. I’m a teacher and I was just on Spring Break and this was our first Monday back, so I didn’t feel as though it would be professional to take a day off. Also, I really missed my kids. I really wanted to go and see them and be around all their smiling faces. So I had to go to work because I value my job and I love my job. My sweet kids sang me Happy Birthday and it was the most magical moment of my life.
After that, I went HOME. Some people like to go out and drink on their birthday. Other people will eat special food or surround themselves with friends and family. Yeah, after work, I went and saw my family for about 20 minutes, but more than anything I just wanted to get home. Because I love my home.
I love my home because it is a curated to my liking and it is a place where I am surrounded by comfort. I am never uncomfortable or afraid in my lair. I look in any direction and see a happy memory or a beautiful painting or something else that brings me joy.
My darling Boyfriend is often back from school when I get home from work and coming home to such love makes me happier than I ever knew I could be. Dylan doesn’t judge me or say I’m weird; He supports me better than any bra. The other day, he came out and I was asleep on the living room floor with the cats. You know what he did? Moved around me. He respects my space and my choices, no matter how odd my choices may seem. We watch the same stupid videos over and over and he laughs at the same parts with me. Yes, I love to watch the videos, but I mostly love to hear his laugh. It makes me happy.
My home also contains my cats and if you would like to know more about them, I’ve done a LONG blog post on them and would happily talk more about them, but I’ll save that for later. So, I got to my happy place, and then did nothing. I hung out on the couch and chilled out with all of my boys. That is exactly what I wanted to do. And then…
My sweet Dylan got me my 10th tattoo! I couldn’t be happier with how amazing this is. It’s done in Bellingham by Patrick in Sabbath Tattoo. He has done half of my tattoos and I would never go to anybody else. If Patrick dies, I’m going to level up in necromancy and get him back.
Now, I’m writing this and having a rum and Diet Pepsi (fuck you) while watching the same stupid YouTube videos that I love. My boys are laying nearby and my Darling Dearest is in the shower because he doesn’t feel well. Poor guy.
Well, that’s all from me today! Come back soon as we will be talking abortion and birth control! *Whispers from the back of the room*
Meet my sweet kittens! They are my little fur babies and I spoil them to a disgusting degree. They have dry food at all times and get wet food twice per day; They get treats and various toys, though they prefer used ear swabs and tampon wrappers. I got them a year and a half apart and both off of Craigslist.
(I promise this isn’t just a post about my cats. There’s some substance at the bottom)
My boyfriend and I let these cats walk all over us. Literally, it doesn’t matter what we are doing, as long as we are sitting down, one of the cats is laying on one of use, or trying to lay on one of us. Edwin, the elder, is quiet but pushy, which is really cute. He comes up silently beside you and will attempt to walk into whatever part of your lap, stomach, or chest he can squeeze onto. If you allow him access, he will start laying down. This process can take up to three minutes as he tries to find the best place to lay. if you DENY him access, he will push and then back off and try another angle and push from there. Sometimes, he pretends to leave so that he can get your guard down and then jumps up out of nowhere and you’ve lost. I literally went through this at the beginning of this paragraph.
Albert, my sweet kitten, is so loud. He, too will approach calmly, as Edwin does, seeking to lay down peacefully. If you allow him access, he will lay down quickly and purr his heart out. He also will move constantly because he gets excited about getting love. if you don’t just let him on, he will yell at you and ram his head into you until you submit. And you will. He is still small enough to work around so you end up getting more done with him on you than you would getting yelled at the whole time.
Our boys are big talkers normally and like to just randomly yell at things like posters, the toilet, us or each other. They’re really sweet and will sometimes sleep together, but prefer to sleep with us during the night and play during the day, with some naps sprinkled in. When we are gone, they can get a little naughty. Well, a lot naughty.
Just yesterday, we were around for one of their crazy times and Edwin fell over the open gate of their sun room and Albert flew off the counter, apparently aiming for the fridge, and ended up smacking flat onto the door. It was great. Also, their little sun room is a dog crate that I put them in to take them outside. As I’ve said, they’re very spoiled. They also get cat grass sometimes, but not all of the time because they like to just rip it out of the dirt.
My boyfriend and I are never alone in the house. Either one or both of them will fallow us from room to room, even going so far as to wait by the door when we leave.
Our bathroom door is broken and in order to keep the cats from coming in, we open one of the drawers. This means that the door is still about an inch open and, despite having failed many times, the boys will try to squeeze their little faces through to be with who ever is in there. It’s really funny and really sweet.
All in all, this post could have just been “I love my cats” end of story, but I wanted to introduce them to the world because they’re so unique. My cats are the best cats. But I also wanted to talk about the fact that people think Satanists sacrifice animals in rituals. No. We don’t and I don’t appreciate being tagged as an animal murderer by people. Well, unless you’re vegan because that doesn’t count. But, seriously, animals are far better than people in every way and I go to great lengths to avoid hurting all animals. Once, I changed lanes to avoid hitting a toad. The only thing I can think that humans have over animals is tacos. Besides, all the animal abusers and killers I’ve ever known were of faith.
FUN FACT: When I was dating a Hardcore Chrtistian, he told me how he wants his wedding to be. No guests, just one witness, a preacher, and the two to be wed. (Now, I don’t remember all of the animals involed, but i’ll do my best). He said it must be in a field in a valley. There, the groom with cut the enimals in half and drags a half to each side of the valley so that the blood runs down into the middle. Some of the animals I remember are an ox, a lamb, a pigeon, and a dove. I know there were more, but I can’t remember them. Then the couple will stand on one side of the river of blood and the holy man will be on the other. The couple would then say some words, which I don’t remember because fuck that, the pastor tells them to say, walking through the blood as they do. When the are done, they will be married to each other and to God. Then the animals will be cooked and eaten at a party with friends and family.
I promise you this is true. Hand on my Science textbook and takeout menu. If somebody reads this and gets all up in arms over it, then I don’t know what to tell you, because he was a hardcore CRC member and apparently insane. Satanist, as I’ve said before, don’t animals unless in danger or for food. Satanists don’t need to stoop to such pathetic levels in order to perform successful rituals.
So, people might want to update their beliefs on where evil really lives in the world.
Enjoy your Sunday. I’m going to get some tacos and I’ll be back tomorrow for my birthday!
As I’ve mentioned before, I am a Middle and High School Drama teacher in the Pacific Northwest, but that doesn’t really pay a lot, especially since I’m only a part-time teacher. So, on the side, I also work as a Theatrical Lighting Designer.
“What does a Theatrical Lighting Designer do, Lauren?”
I’m glad you asked.
Well, a Lighting Designer in a theatrical setting is responsible for, well, giving the show light in a way that is artistic, but doesn’t distract from the play; giving basic light to the show, but without making it boring or flat; trying to manage complementing all of the costumes, sets, and actors while also matching the tone of the script as well as the Director’s “vision”.
So, the first thing I do when I get a script, is read it three times. The first time, I read it to enjoy it. I just want to go through the story and read it. NEVER watch another production this early in the game because you don’t want to be influenced by another Lighting Designer’s design for a specific show.
The second time I read through a script, I read it for comprehension. I want to find out what is going on below the surface of the characters and the play itself. Something that is important is how characters relate to each other and how they feel about the environments they’re interacting with. Are they in a spooky forest with their lover? Is this character alone in their childhood home? What if that home just burned down? All of these things will inform your design.
The third time I read the script is my technical reading. I want to see where the scene changes are, where any blackouts should be. Pro Tip: Don’t use too many blackouts, because when the stage goes dark, it’s a really powerful statement. I also look at time of day, what kind of building they are in, what time of year we are set in, as well as time period. Why? Because a Denny’s in 1980’s New York City at 11:30pm is going to have different lighting that a cabin in the mid 1800’s at high noon. Dig, dog?
Well, all of this also has to match up with the Director’s “Vision”, which is their idea of how the play should look when presented opening night. This can either be very, very easy or absolute HELL to work with. It all depends on the Director. If you find a good Director, stick with them. If they like your work, or like working with you, you’ll always have a job and they’ll push to get you paid more if they can.
Why does this matter if YOU’RE the designer of the lights? Well, because you might be doing the classic Our Town, but your Director envisions it taking place in a world where humans evolved in caves. These would require two very different designs.
The nest thing you’ll do is find out what kind of lights you’re going to have, how many the theatre has, where the lights are located in the theatre, and what kind of board they have.
You need to know these things because you have to prepare to price, purchase, rent, design, focus, hang, and go into dress rehearsal. Producers and Directors will want you to go in and purchase exactly what you need so that when you get into the theatre you can use a team to move the lights where they need to be moved right away. This also includes adding gels. Gels are these very thin sheets of colored or textured plastic-y material that change the color of the light. You can also use these fun little things called gobos, which are these little metal or glass discs that are used to sculpt the light into a design that can be seen on stage.
The faster this is done, the faster you can move into writing cues. This just means you go onto the light board and tell the computer which lights it should turn on; how quickly they should rise and fall; how bright they should be; and, if you have LEDs, what color the light should be. LED lights allow for amazing color variety and this allows your design freedom that traditional lights don’t provide. Sometimes, like in the show I am currently working, you’ll have multiple light boards with no computer to write cues into.
After all of this, you’re ready for the cue to cue. This means that the actors put on their makeup and costumes and move from each scripted cue, such as entrances and exits, and technical cues, such as light, sound, and set cues. This is just a good way to make sure there aren’t any design issues in the show. It’s a good way to see how the light works with the final colors on stage; see any shadows or bright spots; and make sure your design fits with the Director’s vision.
If all of this goes smoothly, you give the cues you’ve written to your Stage Manager (Aka God of the Theatre) and then hang out until the end of Hell Week to make sure the Stage Manager is calling your cues correctly and they’re coming up at the right times. You’ll also be asked to train or manage the Spot Light Operators, telling them where you want them to focus their beams and, if you have multiple SPOs, who should take which character during scenes where they both need to have their lamps on.
Once the show opens, you’re done and can take a long break… sometimes. Other times, especially in small theatres, you’ll be asked to run the light board, too. This will be the case more often than not early on in a career. You won’t often get paid more, if you’re getting paid at all, but you’ll get a good reputation and that is far more valuable in the theatre world.
Well, there it is! I hope you have a wonderful day, Thespians!
All that being said, I’ve noticed that they have a bad habit of throwing Satanists under the bus. The first time I noticed this was when I was watching their video “Three Terrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons” and somewhere around the 37 minute mark, they mention a woman who was thought to be a “Satan Worshiper”. I didn’t think too much about it at first because I am not, in fact, a Satan Worshiper, I am a Lauren Worshiper. Then, around a minute later, they went and threw out the big “S” word. Well, the priest they were speaking to said “Satanic Cult”.
Couple things. I would have kept my mouth shut if we had stuck with “Satan Worshiper” or “Devil Worshipers” or “Lunatics”, but we didn’t. They went to “Satanic Cult.” First thing, Satanists don’t do cults and those who are members of the Church of Satan, like myself, aren’t part of a cult. Cults control you, which is the opposite of what Satanism is about.
“But, but, but Lauren! There are RITUALS in Satanism!”
Why yes… yes there are, but they’re total psychodrama meant to make the participants feel as if they’ve done everything they’ve physically can to sway their desired outcome in their favor and now need to shed the weight of worrying so that they can push forward onto other endeavors. That being said, never deny the power of magic. If you perform a ritual and it works, make sure you give credit where credit is due. That being said, I want it to be clear that I, personally, don’t believe in magic as something supernatural, but rather something natural that we don’t yet have a name or explanation for. But, hey, I moved on, because people get things wrong sometimes.
Then, it happened again. I was watching the video “The Disturbing Mystery of the Jamison Family“. At 16:45, the boys mention that the father in the missing family was reading “a Satanic Bible”. Okay, so let us say this is true. Maybe he was reading The Satanic Bible. So what? Anybody who has taken a look into The Satanic Bible written by Anton LaVey (because anything else that claims to be a “Satanic Bible” is BS) will know that there’s nothing evil about it. It makes clear that Satanism is about being an individual and making sure you have a successful life because there is no afterlife; Nobody is controlling your life besides you. But, I kept on watching, because, as I’ve said before, I really like these guys as people and they make me laugh.
But then it happened again! I was watching the video on the freaking Illuminati, which is wrapped in mystery enough itself, when all of a sudden I hear “The third theory is that the New World Order is connected to the Anti-Christ because the Illuminati are Satanists” before going on to quote a book from Pat Robertson saying that Satanists were responsible for “The French Revolution, The Communist Manifesto, and the creation of The Federal Reserve”.
At this point, I had to pause the video because I was laughing so hard. That’s when I looked up and saw this:
This was making me laugh so much at this point that my cat came over to check on me. Guys, maybe the people who created these things were Satanists in their heart, but they wouldn’t have even known what to call it or, if they did have Satanism as it is now, I doubt they would have ever admitted to it OR have also been a part of the Illuminati. I mean, sure, I’ll let you think they were the Illuminati, but they weren’t Satanists.
And then… my favorite. “The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge” video! Oh my goodness. So, here’s the basics of the story. Basically, they say that there is a demon that… haunts(?) the bridge because Satanists have been performing rituals on the bridge.
No, guys, just, no. Satanists, real Satanists, don’t believe in Demons. Satan isn’t real, Lucifer isn’t real. None of that. People who worship Lucifer are called Devil Worshippers and are closer to Christians than Satanists. Also, Satanists tend to perform rituals in private, safe areas because they are private events that we don’t want to be interrupted.
They then did a BS ritual with protection circles and other white magic crap. Ryan had stated that there had been evidence of people doing rituals on the bridge and they had the following exchange.
As I’ve stated before, Satanists don’t believe in the same thing Ryan believes. We are very practical people and don’t believe that there are ghosts or demons or Lucifer or gods or any of that crap. You’re on a bridge and you’re freaking yourself out.
Then, later in the same video, they said there were often Satanic Rituals carried out in the woods and that animal bones were often found there. They said that the town went so far as to stop selling cats because so many were turning up dead in the aforementioned forest.
First of all, fuck you. I’m sorry, but this actually hurt my feelings. I love cats. You know, I love all animals, but cats especially. I have two, in fact, named Edwin and Albert, who I spoil rotten. I also used to foster sick and young kittens before they were put up for adoption at a local animal shelter.
Second of all, if you had done your research, you would have seen the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth, as seen blow:
I’ll bring your attention to Number 10: “Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food”. This literally means that humans are animals, too, and we shouldn’t hurt non-human animals unless we need to stay alive because we are starving or being attacked.
All in all, I just want to not be labeled as an evil person who kills cats and summons demons, because I’m not. If you are somebody who is trying to do good, in-depth journalism, you can contact the Church of Satan directly here. I am NOT a spokesperson, I’m just a Member of the Church of Satan who wants to be a little bit more understood.