I Want to Talk to You

Now, now, don’t get that look on your face, you’re not in trouble and I’m not breaking up with you. No, instead I would like to take the time to talk about myself so you can quickly decide if this is worth your time or not. Fair? Good.

First and foremost, my name is Lauren and I’m a Satanist. I was introduced to Satanism in 2016 when a good friend of mine invited me to his house. We were chatting about our favorite books, movies, and such when my attention was quickly pulled to the lyrics of the music we had on in the background. What got my to stop and listen were the lyrics “Are you ready to swear right here, right now before the Devil” because I’ve always been drawn to “The darkness” as my Mom has said. I’m the weird kid. When I asked him who we were listening to, he got a very serious look on his face and said “This is Ghost. They’re a Satanic band… and they’re funny, too!”

(Square Hammer by Ghost B.C.)

I was curious and, later that day, started Googling the band. Sadly, my memory is about as good as a broken lightbulb, and I couldn’t remember the name of the band, so I just started entering key words. Eventually, I stumbled onto the Church of Satan Website. Here, I was able to play and learn at my own pace and I found that a lot of what the Church of Satan says is total common sense. This made me even more curious, so I eventually picked up a copy of The Satanic Bible. Here, I found myself within the words. Now, what I’m saying here is that the way I lived my life at the time (and still) was already Satanic. The book didn’t change my mind or the way I view the world, but gave it a name. Satanists are born, not made.

Since then, I graduated from Western Washington University in 2017 with a BA in Creative Writing. With this, I was able to get a job as a middle and high school drama teacher in a northwest corner of Washington State, as well as a Theatrical Lighting Designer both for Skagit Valley College, where I am hourly, and various community theatre productions who pay me what they can.

Yeah, yeah, I know that creative writing doesn’t have anything to do with lights, but that’s what I’m good at! I mean, I’m good at writing, too, but the theatre is where I shine. (Ha, pun).

So, here I am in all my dark glory. I hope you enjoy what I have to say.

Hail Satan!