I was just chilling in my greenhouse, looking at my plants, when my new kitten Davie (Short for David Meowthews Band) came up and rubbed her head on my leg. It is really special for her to do this as it took a while for her to even leave a corner she had hid in when we first brought her home.
I don’t know what Davie had been through since she came to me in a strange way. A friend of mine had a person she allowed to sublet at her place for free abandon the cat at the house without food, water, or a place to go potty. Apparently Davie was a birthday gift that her mom gave her. Her mom had taken her from around her work, claiming she was a stray. We did check if she was chipped and posted on various pages that we had found her, but nobody claimed her. We later learned that people were doing drugs in the house while she was there, so who knows what all this cat has seen or been through. But she’s happy here.
Now that Davie has gotten used to her new family, she loves to cuddle with her kitty brothers, play with her toys, and take naps after filling her belly with cat food I make from scratch. (Yes, I’ve done my research and they are getting everything they need). While her early life was probably really rough, she is safe with and I couldn’t imagine not having this sweet baby in my life.
Nothing too Satanic to talk about here, I just really like my cat.
Hey guys, I know I said I was going to give you my Top 5 favorite books, but I had something more exciting come in! Check it out.
If you have not read the first essay I wrote on a book this author sent me, I would go back and read that first.
Wow, wow, wow! What a wonderful companion piece to Rascal! If the image above reminds you of the colors of the 70’s, there’s a reason for that. Drawing upon imagery of growing up in that era, the author muses over how these were the golden memories that stick out so starkly against the more common memories shrouded in darkness.
Read this book AFTER Rascal, for sure, as the first will give you a sense of what the author must have gone through, which makes The Corner Store Epiphany so powerful. It’s a story of learning to please yourself as doing what you need to do for yourself FIRST is the key to healing.
The book reminds you that the pleasures of childhood don’t need to be reserved for the early years of your life as they will always make you happy. Don’t miss out on the little joys in life, like a beautiful sunset or a particularly lovely afternoon, because you are trying to do what others tell you what they think you should be doing.
Logospilgrim once again demonstrates a mastery of words and sentence fluency that weaves between the worlds of poetry and prose that pulls you through the book at breakneck speeds.
I highly recommend reading both books in quick succession as to experience the gambit of emotions on display.
Now, join me as we sit down with the author in this edition of…
Since I love this so much, I’m just going to quote for you what the About the Author section of the book says. It’s perfect.
“Logospilgrim is a writer, a secular humanist, and a gonzo maverick. These days, she writes mostly about joyful secular living and being a happy introverted tomboy. She has a degree in Religious Studies and a large toy collection. Shel;s leaning to play the ukulele, and she can juggle. She loves the 70s, making macrame, and drinking Jack Daniel’s. She’s also known as the Quiet Professor.”
1) What is your relationship to the Church of Satan?
I’ve officially been a member since the start of 2018. Incidentally, it’s been an excellent year for me so far, one of the best years of my life; thus it feels most appropriate that I became a member this year. In my active membership form, which I sent a few weeks ago, I wrote that “Being a member of the Church of Satan is like adorning the banquet table of one’s existence with a sumptuous, buttercream-laden cake (…) [It’s] a manifestation of the reverence I feel for my satanic self: my sweet, unabashed, and superbly devilish self-dedication.”
2) When did you first discover Satanism?
I knew about the existence of Satanism when I was in my late teens. I spent a great deal of time browsing in bookstores, and The Satanic Bible was always available in the Occult or New Age sections. Due to my complex life circumstances back then, I didn’t pick up the book, though I’d been interested in “dark” things since I was a child: horror movies, monsters, the mysterious, and so on. I did finally read The Satanic Bible when I was in my mid-twenties, and its philosophy strongly resonated with me, but it would take many more years before I completely emancipated myself from Judeo-Christian notions that were bound up in affective/relational issues and the legacy of a childhood marked by domestic violence; I wrote about this in my Satan Superstar article, “Golden Idol.” I recently wrote that I’ve never been on the “right side” of anything, and it’s one of the multitude of reasons Satanism suits me as it does. In the opening sequence of Aeon Flux (the animated series), the two main characters have the following exchange:
Trevor Goodchild: Whose side are you on?
Aeon Flux: I take no side.
Trevor Goodchild: You’re skating the edge.
Aeon Flux: I am the edge.
Those last words, “I am the edge,” the state of being unclassifiable, of being your own agent, this is and has always been at the core of my being. It’s been the key to my endurance and survival; it’s thanks to this that I’ve prevailed, over and over, against whatever would have extinguished my flame. I’m now at a point in my life when this flame has never burned brighter, and I have all the means I require to fully satisfy my satanic nature, to exist in accordance with my desires. Being a Satanist is a triumph of my self. One of my favorite aspects of Satanism is its “take bold delight in living your own life, on your terms” stance.
3) What item in your house brings you the most joy?
I’m a passionate collector, and love to display objects that give me pleasure. So many of my treasures bring me joy, it’s difficult to single one of them out! I love vintage toys, especially from the 1970s. My most recent acquisition is a 1975 Weebles tree house, in fantastic shape, a complete set that even includes the box; I managed to snag it for thirty bucks. This collection, to me, is Lesser Magic in action, because of the powerful effect it has on me: the process of acquiring it, and enjoying it, is a reclaiming of my own happiness, a scavenging operation wherein I’ve gone back to the past, extracted from a painful, damaging environment all that gave me joy and enabled me to survive, and in the present time these objects are imbued with added significance. They resonate with my strength and ingenuity, my determination to carve a potent lair, a free-zone for myself in the midst of a world that thrives on uniformity. On the Weebles tree house box, the toy is described as a “secret retreat,” and this is precisely what I learned to create for myself, in the far reaches of my mind, when having one’s place was forbidden. My collection is a statement: I have prevailed, and will continue doing so. To name one favorite item: I have a little vintage Avon snowman necklace hanging near my computer. Its milky-white body, like a moonstone almost, delights me to no end. When a small object like this can give you such pleasure, you are powerful indeed. It reminds me that no one could, no one can ultimately take my joy away; it’s mine, it’s self-generated, and the means I choose for attaining it are uncommon.
4) Would you rather never have to pay for food again or get $100,000,000 per year for life?
I’d say that the $100,000,000 per annum would provide for all my needs, including dietary ones, quite nicely *laughs*
5) Tell me about your last really good day.
You know, I have really good days just about every week! Anytime I’m in my lair is a really good day. For instance, only last Saturday, another vintage treasure reached my doorstep, a rare Bert and Ernie toy (a soft buggy that looks like the inventive pair fashioned it out of whatever they could find, a garbage can, pieces of wood, old hinges, bits and bobs, rope, and I think this is hilarious, but then I have a predilection for “garbage” and junk toys), and that day I cleaned up the house a little—caring for my lair, making it comfortable, is extremely important to me—then I spent time writing, and later my spouse and I ate juicy hamburgers in our respective Total Environment havens, surrounded by what we love: a perfect day. On a day when I ventured out recently, I went to a small German restaurant to eat Viennese schnitzel with spätzle and sauerkraut (I’d never had proper German food and wanted to eat some because of a story I’m working on) and oh, that was glorious.
6) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?
Basically, I treat myself in the ways I enjoy most. This means a quiet day, because I’m an introvert and love seclusion and tranquility, and I unwrap gifts I got for myself (toys, books, films, music). Never underestimate the joy of unwrapping presents! This year was the first year I officially celebrated my birthday as the most important Satanic holiday of the year, and it was wonderful; it stretched out over a few days. I took glamorous self-portraits to highlight the occasion, savored rich pieces of cake (chocolate with a lot of buttercream), and my partner made me fine meals.
7) How did you come up with the name Logospilgrim?
It was the name I chose for myself back when I was undergoing a vital transformation inside a cocoon of sorts, around fifteen years ago. In the beginning, it had Orthodox connotations, and then, as I laboriously emerged from the now useless shell with my dazzling wings, I kept this name. I love the way it looks and sounds, but I gave it new meaning. I took it back to its roots. “Logos” comes from the Greek lógos—a word, saying, speech, discourse, thought, proportion, ratio, reckoning, akin to légein, to choose, gather, recount, tell over, speak: I’ve always been a communicator, words have always been important to me, especially the written word. “Pilgrim” is most apt as well; I’m a wanderer, but of the mind. As a writer, I spend a lot of time thinking and letting my mind wander. I’m very curious, always eager to perfect my knowledge, to learn about a variety of topics. And there is something deliciously unexpected about being a Satanist with such an incongruous name. “In the beginning was the Logos, and the Logos was with god, and the Logos was god”—I have been in my own company from the start, and I am my god. Lucifer is the true Logos.
8) Do you have any pets?
I have a cherished cat named Potion, which is a tribute to Severus Snape. I love cats because they’re both affectionate and independent. They’re excellent pets for introverts. Potion, like me, doesn’t like commotion or intrusion. He has the perfect calm environment in my home.
9) What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
My partner and I have sensitive skin, so I use a fragrance free detergent. On the other hand, we enjoy scents; a lot of incense is burned in this house, fragrant candles, and I use an oil diffuser on a regular basis. I love rich, earthy perfumes that include scents like vanilla, frankincense and myrrh, clove, spices… I recently got a sample of a perfume called Lavs Unum (worn by two popes), and it’s exquisitely decadent.
10) What is your favorite of the Seven Deadly Sins?
Pride, definitely. One must possess intelligent pride, not counterproductive pride, obviously, but when someone had to deal with abusive situations, emotional vampires, psychological damage, filling one’s chalice to the brim with pride is a fierce and most effective cure. Pride is the foundation of all other “Deadly Sins”—of humanity at its most primal, and at its most sophisticated. Pride is the root of self-preservation; it’s an inner friend that lets us know what’s right for us, what we should pursue, what we should walk away from; if we’re the sort of individuals who are capable of and profit from sound introspection, its instruction heightens our self-awareness. Pride is what connects us to self-respect; it’s a crown, a sword, and a shield; it inspires us to be the utmost of what we can be.
That’s all today, folks! Take some time to check out these books and I promise my list is coming. I must say it’s REALLY hard to pick only five.
Hey, guys, before I get into this infernal interview, I want to be a little vain. I was going to say “hope that’s alright with you” but I don’t really care and I’m going to do it anyway!
As I said briefly in my last post, I am going to be interviewed by our wonderful Reverend Campbell on his podcast Speak of the Devil!
This is really exciting for me because, well, I’m a baby Satanist and people actually give a shit about Reverend Campbell. This will be a live interview and will start at 7pm PST. You’ll be able to comment and we will comment back in real-time, so it should be a really fun conversation. I hope to see you there!
Okay, all of that out of the way, it’s time for our newest…
Our latest victim is NOT a member of the Church of Satan as of right now, but that may change. Ya never know. Until then, let us welcome our Satan-Friendly friend Marco S. into the pit!
1) What is your relationship with the Church of Satan?
I’m not a card-carrying member, but I’ve considered myself a Satanist since I was about 19, I’m 37 now.
2) How did you first discover Satanism?
I specifically remember when my neighbor (mentor, band mate and long time metal brother) lent me a Dimmu Borgir album, Enthrone Darkness Triumphant, I was a little intrigued by this verses:
Whispering voices, summoning screams
Waiting for Satan to bless their sins
Blackhearted angels fallen from grace
Possessed by the search for utter darkness
That was completely new to me, asking for Satan’s blessing and at the same time wanting to search for utter darkness, willing to sin again. This was strange because I grew up with my grandmother in a Catholic family and even though I stopped believing in God since I was 14 or 15, I never thought these words could represent anything other than “going against God”, which at that point I considered just bullshit.
After a quick online search I found information about the Church of Satan and asked my friend’s mom (who was very liberal) to order a Satanic Bible from Amazon for me. I grew up in Mexico and at the time I didn’t have a credit card, and there was no way my dad was gonna buy this for me. Naturally when I read the book I realized what most of us do at some point, it spoke to me, it spoke about me.
3) What are your favorite book?
I love many, many books, there’s an obvious spot reserved for the Satanic Bible, because it opened my eyes to who I really am, and it gave me comfort when I realized that being a misfit and an outlier is not “wrong”, it only means you don’t fit in the status quo, it’s an advantage.
Also I have to mention Psychomagic by Alejandro Jodorowsky, with that book I discovered the power of the mind, the power of the palpable change you can create for yourself and your own reality without the need to summon anything or anyone with supernatural powers. In this same tone but as pure fiction, I loved The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda, pretty much any Castaneda book has a magical power that’s hard to contain.
A short list should also include Vonnegut’s The Sirens of Titan, Malcolm Gladwell’s David and Goliath, Carl Sagan’s The Demon Haunted World and Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ Cronica De Una Muerte Anunciada.
4) What would you do if you were suddenly placed into a horror film, such as The Evil Dead?
I’m not a big fan of horror, I’ve never watched that movie so I assume I’ll just try to… survive? I don’t now.
5) Do you have any pets?
Not at the moment, I had dogs growing up, although I get along really well with cats too.
6) Are you currently working on any projects?
Aside from my 9-5 job I always try to have side gigs to keep my mind distracted, I’ve been teaching myself how to code for about a year now so I try to find things that will help me improve on that ability. At the moment my biggest project would be updating my online portfolio building the site from scratch!
7) If a spaceship landed and asked you to take them to your leader, to whom would you take them?
Oh well… it would be a difficult choice but I would probably go with a scientist, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Brian Greene or someone of the like. Someone who is more likely to know what to do in a situation like that rather than someone actually in power. People in power are not always the smartest you know…
8) Do you like to travel? If so, where?
I do like to travel, me and my wife would hop on trains or planes for short stays in small and big cities in the North East, we have yet to go to the West Coast. Lately I’ve been going to Ukraine a few times per year, visiting great cities and places over there. Poland, Germany and Egypt are in our list.
9) What would you like Non-Satanists to know about Satanists?
I’m not sure about this one. I don’t mind if most people don’t know what Satanism is, as long as they don’t use us as a scapegoat or an excuse for their own ridiculous behavior. Maybe it would be good for them to know that this is not an obscure sect and we definitely don’t sacrifice babies? It’s appalling the amount of people who associate that with Satanists, but then again, the average person is really stupid.
10) Which of the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth speaks to you the most?
I try to guide myself by all of them, but if I had to pick one that represents who we are it would be the 11th Rule, it was the first one I read somewhere on the internet, and I absolutely loved it. I think it broadly defines a simple but powerful way to look at life; to me it’s about two things, one is the idea that you should live your life without messing with anyone, and two is that everyone deserves respect until they prove otherwise (sometimes the proof comes VERY quickly).
Alright, kids, that’s it for the day! I’ve got a long week ahead of me and I’m already running late. I hope you loved reading this interview as much as I did!
And the fun part is that he actually took the time to answer them! Each of these interviews is designed to inform and entertain, which this one does for sure! The joke at the end made me laugh so hard that I scared my cats.
1) Tell me about a powerful Greater Magic moment.
The most powerful Greater Magic moment I’ve experienced was my first. It was a destruction ritual for a psychic vampire I was dealing with at work. The ritual itself was full of powerful anger and hatred, and afterwards I felt such a euphoric feeling. Within two weeks the person received several performance related write ups. They quit shortly thereafter.
2) Do the people close to you know you’re a member of the Church of Satan?
My wife knows and has read all the books in my collection as well as one of my brothers. The rest of my family would have to be blind not to know as I have the fact that I’m a member on all my social media pages. There are interviews I’ve done on Good Mourning America and Speak of the Devil that are easily found with a google search. I don’t go around telling people but will honestly answer if asked.
3) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?
I love to go out to a steak house that is close by, they have the best new York strip that they cook to a temperature called “blue”, then having either key lime pie or caramel brulee. After that it’s home for great sex and a great old movie for the night.
4) What would you do if you were turned into a horse for a day?
I would be the fastest horse on the track in my youth, and enjoy being a stud in my later years. Being from Kentucky originally I’ve seen that most horses live better than their owners, so what a life that would be.
5) How do you explain Satanism to Non-Satanists?
I explain Satanism as being a powerful philosophy for “I-theists” as Magus Gilmore has called us. The tools within Satanism allow a born Satanist to develop themselves into successful, fully responsible adults who shape the world the way we want it to be. Through everything from art, music, television, technology, etc. Satanists are living the fullest lives with the most impact.
6) What is your biggest pet peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is stupidity. I can deal with people who are ignorant but those who choose to be ignorant of a subject is, in my opinion, the worst kind of stupidity.
7) Are you currently working on any projects?
I am getting in to painting and I write poetry and songs. There are some videos from when I was a touring musician on YouTube for those who like “retro” music. I am working out a plan of putting together a book of stories from the road accompanied by some of my poetry.
8) What are a few things on your bucket list?
I want to sky dive on my 40thbirthday, take my oldest daughter (6) to Germany, and get together with Reverend Campbell and Warlock Jeff Bowling for a beer.
9) Would you rather give up toothpaste or toilet paper for a week?
Toothpaste. I think there are somethings you could eat or gum you could chew to fix the cleanliness of my mouth. Not much you could do comfortably for your ass.
10) Tell me your favorite joke.
My girlfriend’s dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was livid, she said “what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My cats have calmed down now and are trying to get me to love them now. Or feed them. It’s the same, really. I was going to say this was a fun interview for me, but that’s obvious. How about I just tell you when an interview irritates me, yeah? Cool.
Okay, I straight up stole that title from Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!), which is a really fun book and can be found here. I highly, highly recommend it if you haven’t read it yet.
But that’s not why we are here! Oh, no, I’m here because I feel the need to tell you about how Satanic you are. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you to join the Church of Satan or start calling yourself a Satanist because, odds are, you’re not. But damn, people these days are so Satanic that it makes me laugh when they shit on the Church of Satan.
First off, lets me real, you are all selfish. Yeah, it’s true. Don’t worry, I am, too. Obviously I want the best for me because I have to live my life, not you. Thus, if you really don’t matter to me, then I’ll probably help myself before I help you. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t know 99.9% of the people on Earth.
This is not to say I don’t like to be kind, it’s just for a selfish reasons that I help people. For example, If I have enough money during the holidays, I like to get a few chicken meals (including potatoes, bread, a veggie, and a drink) and give them to homeless people I see around town. I can’t do it very often, but I like doing it because it makes me feel good. Yeah, I am owning up to it. I do things people would consider “philanthropic” because I like the feeling of seeing people happy for something I did.
I also don’t NOT care about people on Earth I don’t know, I do, I just need to take care of me and the people around me before I help the rest of the universe. And my selfishness extends to those close to me. I’d be disappointed if a coworker gets a promotion over my Mother or if my Little Sister got her heart-broken. My friends live within my circle of selfishness, as does my partner. Sound familiar?
Now, I’ll give you a moment to read all the way through the above picture. Okay, now do it again. Most of them seem like pretty common sense and that’s because they have been carefully constructed to mathematically– No I’m shitting with you, they are just basic common sense. So let’s look at these one by one.
1- This one may be the one I wish most Non-Satanists would learn because it really annoys me when people try to fix things for me when all I need for them to do is listen. Does that make sense? If a friend/coworker/family member/ whatever and I are talking and they ask about a problem I may be having. If I decide to confide it them, I don’t need them to fix whatever is happening, but just listen. If I want to know how you’d fix it, I’ll ask.
2- This is just an extension of the first. Don’t just start telling me about your Sister’s affair out of nowhere, Brenda, all you did was hand me a divider at the Fred Meyer checkout line.
3- I love the word “Lair” in this because it sounds so dark, but it really just means somebody’s space. I say SPACE and not HOUSE because I consider several spaces an extension of my lair. These spaces include my office, my classroom, my personal space, and my car. Don’t touch the stereo.
4- I love the wording in this one, too, because it makes it seem as though I’m going to be throwing somebody in my oven for sneezing on my face. No, but if you sneeze on my face a few times I might as you to leave. If you don’t, then you might be thrown into the oven… Kidding. (Or am I?)
5- THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! Nothing sexual unless you’ve been given consent. I like “Mating Signal” because when I am dating somebody, we can pretty much give consent by using body language and I always make sure whomever I am with knows that they can stop or say no anytime they way. Never force things on people.
6- Don’t steal… Just don’t steal…
7- This one may be the only one that Non-Satanists won’t nod their head at. The way I explain this is as follows: We use the placeholder word “Magic” to describe something we don’t yet have a name for in science. That being said, if you perform a ritual and it goes the way you want, tip your hat to the Devil.
I say magic may also be real, but very small, like being able to make the best cup of coffee in the office even though the water comes from the same place and the beans are the same. (If you’re a high-ranking CoS Member and I am WAAAY off, please tell me).
8- Oh I love this one so much. Have an awful friend who is sucking the life out of you but you keep going back for some reason, you don’t get to complain. Get rid of that Psychic Vampire and move on. Didn’t bother to vote? Then shut up. Start doing something about it.
9- Come on…
10- Again, this is easy. Animal is attacking you? Do anything you can to survive. Starving? Kill an animal to survive. Satanism is a life-loving religion. That being said, don’t hurt animals.
11- Like the first Rule of the Earth, this one is really important. Leave people alone in public and if somebody starts bugging you, tell them to stop. If they don’t leave you be when you ask nicely, SET THEM ON FIRE- No, don’t do that. BUT at that point you are allowed to get mean… or meaner. Just make sure you’re within your rights. Don’t break any laws.
SEE! A lot of these things are common sense to good people! Satanists are good people and a lot of good people are very Satanic, though not Satanists. Remember, Satanists are born, not made.
This is why I get pissed when people look at me in horror or stop talking to me when they find out I’m a member of the Church of Satan because they think I’m dancing with the Devil while eating babies and sacrificing cats. Just do some research and you’ll realize that all I am guilty of is being awesome.
Have a wonderful Walpurgisnacht, my Dearest Devils!
Man, is this guy special. I am very, very lucky to have this Dylan in my life. Seriously, I couldn’t imagine my life without him now that I know what it’s like to see him every day and be able to love him.
No, he is not a Satanist, but he is an atheist. I mean, I am an atheist, too, but while I was finding myself within Satanism, he was not, and that’s totally fine. As I said before, I once dated a Hardcore Christian, and one of the most annoying things of that relationship was him always trying to push his religion onto me. Ugh. Everybody knows that person, almost always Christian, who wants to save you. I’m not here to do that. If people have questions, I’ll answer them, but I’m not here to pester anybody.
So, Dylan is great, because he supports me in anything I am interested in, even if I’m not good at it. I hope that I treat him the way he deserves to be treated, even if I did accidentally take his debit card to work with me today.
We actually met on Tindr, which I never thought could work for anything but hooking up and leaving. He was actually my first ever Tindr date and he actually came to work with me. Not school, the Lighting Design one. Honestly, I didn’t believe in love at first sight until that moment I saw him waiting for me in the lobby looking lost. I know that sounds stupid, but I swear it’s true. I went up to him while his back was towards me and said
“Looking for somebody?”
And that was it. We spent all but around 15 days together since then and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been in a few relationships before this one and this is the first time I’ve wanted to be around the other person every moment of every day. We can just be ourselves around each other and that means not leaving the house and, for me, changing from Pjs to new Pjs. I like comfort.
We have been together for a year and four months now and live together with our sweet babies. I come home every day excited to see him and the boys.
So, I don’t think it matters to him that I’m a Satanist… especially since he has tattoos that would make a Christian have a heart attack. He’s pretty special to me. I’m very lucky to be able to have found somebody who is this wonderful.
Also, Since he is so important to me, the selfishness and want to improve my life I feel extends to him, as well as other important people in my life, such as my Mom. I’m very proud of all that he has done and I will continue to lift him up in any way I can… unless it involves feet.
The only thing we can’t agree on is milk. He doesn’t drink dairy milk and that’s whatever, I don’t care, I just don’t think he should be allowed to call the stuff he drinks “milk” because it’s not. Because it comes from a coconut. It’s juice.
I hope you all have a wonderful night, my loves.
P.S. He has a blog, too, so here’s a shamless plug for that. If you like movies, especially horror, check this shit out https://wp.wwu.edu/jmassacre3/
Meet my sweet kittens! They are my little fur babies and I spoil them to a disgusting degree. They have dry food at all times and get wet food twice per day; They get treats and various toys, though they prefer used ear swabs and tampon wrappers. I got them a year and a half apart and both off of Craigslist.
(I promise this isn’t just a post about my cats. There’s some substance at the bottom)
My boyfriend and I let these cats walk all over us. Literally, it doesn’t matter what we are doing, as long as we are sitting down, one of the cats is laying on one of use, or trying to lay on one of us. Edwin, the elder, is quiet but pushy, which is really cute. He comes up silently beside you and will attempt to walk into whatever part of your lap, stomach, or chest he can squeeze onto. If you allow him access, he will start laying down. This process can take up to three minutes as he tries to find the best place to lay. if you DENY him access, he will push and then back off and try another angle and push from there. Sometimes, he pretends to leave so that he can get your guard down and then jumps up out of nowhere and you’ve lost. I literally went through this at the beginning of this paragraph.
Albert, my sweet kitten, is so loud. He, too will approach calmly, as Edwin does, seeking to lay down peacefully. If you allow him access, he will lay down quickly and purr his heart out. He also will move constantly because he gets excited about getting love. if you don’t just let him on, he will yell at you and ram his head into you until you submit. And you will. He is still small enough to work around so you end up getting more done with him on you than you would getting yelled at the whole time.
Our boys are big talkers normally and like to just randomly yell at things like posters, the toilet, us or each other. They’re really sweet and will sometimes sleep together, but prefer to sleep with us during the night and play during the day, with some naps sprinkled in. When we are gone, they can get a little naughty. Well, a lot naughty.
Just yesterday, we were around for one of their crazy times and Edwin fell over the open gate of their sun room and Albert flew off the counter, apparently aiming for the fridge, and ended up smacking flat onto the door. It was great. Also, their little sun room is a dog crate that I put them in to take them outside. As I’ve said, they’re very spoiled. They also get cat grass sometimes, but not all of the time because they like to just rip it out of the dirt.
My boyfriend and I are never alone in the house. Either one or both of them will fallow us from room to room, even going so far as to wait by the door when we leave.
Our bathroom door is broken and in order to keep the cats from coming in, we open one of the drawers. This means that the door is still about an inch open and, despite having failed many times, the boys will try to squeeze their little faces through to be with who ever is in there. It’s really funny and really sweet.
All in all, this post could have just been “I love my cats” end of story, but I wanted to introduce them to the world because they’re so unique. My cats are the best cats. But I also wanted to talk about the fact that people think Satanists sacrifice animals in rituals. No. We don’t and I don’t appreciate being tagged as an animal murderer by people. Well, unless you’re vegan because that doesn’t count. But, seriously, animals are far better than people in every way and I go to great lengths to avoid hurting all animals. Once, I changed lanes to avoid hitting a toad. The only thing I can think that humans have over animals is tacos. Besides, all the animal abusers and killers I’ve ever known were of faith.
FUN FACT: When I was dating a Hardcore Chrtistian, he told me how he wants his wedding to be. No guests, just one witness, a preacher, and the two to be wed. (Now, I don’t remember all of the animals involed, but i’ll do my best). He said it must be in a field in a valley. There, the groom with cut the enimals in half and drags a half to each side of the valley so that the blood runs down into the middle. Some of the animals I remember are an ox, a lamb, a pigeon, and a dove. I know there were more, but I can’t remember them. Then the couple will stand on one side of the river of blood and the holy man will be on the other. The couple would then say some words, which I don’t remember because fuck that, the pastor tells them to say, walking through the blood as they do. When the are done, they will be married to each other and to God. Then the animals will be cooked and eaten at a party with friends and family.
I promise you this is true. Hand on my Science textbook and takeout menu. If somebody reads this and gets all up in arms over it, then I don’t know what to tell you, because he was a hardcore CRC member and apparently insane. Satanist, as I’ve said before, don’t animals unless in danger or for food. Satanists don’t need to stoop to such pathetic levels in order to perform successful rituals.
So, people might want to update their beliefs on where evil really lives in the world.
Enjoy your Sunday. I’m going to get some tacos and I’ll be back tomorrow for my birthday!