I Love Halloween

Hey, guys, what’s up! I hope you had a wonderful and safe night last night. I know mine was absolutely amazing. It started at 6am PST and I got back home at exactly midnight because, like in Cinderella, I will turn into a grumpy old man after that. It’s bedtime.

Snapchat-1192340442.jpg

This Halloween ended up being quite the rollercoaster. I learned a lot, too. I learned a lot about the work ethic that has been instilled in some of my students and also that of their parents. I learned about that some parents are really shitty examples for their kids and that’s why they’re really shitty kids in class. I learned why some kids lose their magic. It was a really interesting, eye-opening experience this year.

Let me tell you about my night.

I am a teacher in a small school and I have my own two-story building of which I am in charge. Due to the fact that I have this massive theatre to my disposal, I am able to put on a Haunted House. This was the second year and we had it set up where there were three ways to get through a section of the attraction: One tunnel where you had to crawl; One tunnel where it was so dark that you couldn’t see; One tunnel where you were blinded by flashing lights before getting on an elevator and going down. Then you either went through the Halloween room or the IT room, funneled through  a few more and then out past the chainsaw clown.

It was very simple and nicely signed so that there was no way to screw it up. Well, except the feckers who wanted to screw it up. The ones who didn’t want to play along. I gotta say, why did you come? Why come pay money to get into a Haunted House put on by the school if you were going to break stuff, hide, go off course, ruin scares for others, and generally screw around? It doesn’t make it fun and you become the person nobody wants to hangout with.

Think back on some of your favorite Halloween memories. For me, its times when everybody was playing along. If that’s willing to be scared at a Haunted House and enjoying that feeling of fear, it’s more fun when everybody suspends their disbelief and allows themselves to feel like they’re going to die! One little girl last night said to herself “Is this how I’m going to spend the last moments of my life?” and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

For me, that was the most annoying part of the night because it was ruining my fun, too. You’re in MY house and you paid me to scare you… LET ME SCARE YOU!

My next biggest issue was people with shitty work ethics. I had two kids leave during the show and one didn’t even tell me. I learned when I saw him walking away and confronted him. The other got too tired from sitting on the steps making creepy sounds. Seriously. Then 8 students who gave me slips saying they were coming didn’t show up, so I had far less actors, and therefore scares, to work with. I was livid. We pulled it off and had grown women crying, but it could have been so much better if these kids were true to their word. I’m going to call them out on it, too, because it ruined something with my name on it. We were on the front page of the paper, above the fold, and I feel like I gave a sub par performance. That’s my name. That’s my reputation as a teacher and a theatre professional.

 

The worst case of abandonment was when two sisters (twins) approached me the day before the Haunted House. They were supposed to be the girls from The Shining and had even purchased the outfits. One of the girls came up to me and told me that they weren’t going to be able to do the Haunted House because it was their last Halloween. What? I was so confused. Were they dying? No. Apparently their parents decided that they can’t go trick-or-treating once they’re teenagers and they were 12. 12! I didn’t stop collecting candy until I was, like, 15 and even after that I still went with my family and the other kids. It was Halloween where I could stay up late, eat candy, scare people, and be weird. Don’t take that away from your kids. It’s a special time and it keeps them being creative and allowing themselves to be, well, themselves for a night. Truly and purely. What’s more fun than emulating your favorite character, whomever that may be.

So, not only did these parents rob their children of scaring a bunch of people all night, they took actors away from me and taught them, simultaneously, that it’s okay to ditch out on commitments that you don’t want to do and that creativity is something to be grown out of. Wonderful parenting.

When we did get everything going, we were amazing. We were so good that we had grown men screaming, adult women crying, and children wondering if they were going to die. (“Is this how I’m going to spend the last moments of my life?”). Sometimes, we did too good, though, because the kids who thought they were going to be tough ended up getting scared. This made them upset and they would react to their fear with anger, striking my actors and throwing stuff at them. Sometimes they would tear apart walls in order to get around something they saw early and wanted to be cool. Sometimes they threw candy at us, though, so that was fine.

The thing is, sometimes the parents were with them and just allowed this, even leading it a few times. I was astonished that this is how they would behave in a place that wasn’t theirs. They didn’t make the set pieces or the costumes, but they were fine with destroying them. I had to throw a few people out. My actors, kids in this case, were my first priority and the guests were disrespecting them and the space they worked so hard to create. I can’t allow that.

Afterwards, we were all so tired, but so happy. We overcame issues with the sound, worked together as a team to scare the shit out of people, and had a ton of fun doing it. I couldn’t have asked for a better Halloween.

I hope that Samhain was everything you wanted and more, my Darling Devils. Now let’s start planning for next year, WE’RE LATE!

HS!

LH

No, I Don’t Run an ASSC.

I was halfway through this post and it deleted, so here we go again. No, hold on, I’m going to get a snack first.

Okay, I’m back. So, as I have said before, I’m a teacher and I also run two different clubs after school. The first is Drama Club. I teach drama so it’s natural for me to run this and I love it so much! I don’t do much other than steer the kids and teach them the skills they need to act, work back stage, or be part of the creative team. The students are totally in charge of directing, stage managing, sound, lights, costumes, set, and props. The productions they put on are totally student created.

This is crucial because it teaches them responsibility as they know their friends and family, as well as strangers, will be coming to see what they’ve done and they want to be able to take pride in their work.

The other club I run is Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) club. Here, as in Drama Club, the students take charge. If one of them decides they have a story they want us to be a part of, they take charge as Dungeon Master (DM) as long as the current DM is done with their campaign or wants to take a break. If they’re not DM, they’re playing along with me. I mostly just show them where they can find the information they need within the books and explain how to do things such as rolling a character (4D4-lowest=STAT).

dnd_mound2
Not my dice, but they could be

I LOVE running this club because it is so much fun and it teaches them so much. These students have to learn how to work together to overcome obstacles and that doesn’t just mean fighting big dudes. Sometimes you have to solve a murder or get through a dungeon with a bunch of traps and other times you’re running a business in order to get money. There’s a lot of quick math and you have to learn how to work together and use other character’s skills to get around (or through) problems. On top of all of this, they create friends and that’s really important for students.

All that being said, I would like to make an official statement.

I DO NOT RUN AN “AFTER SCHOOL SATAN CLUB”

ASSC_1_Test_Layered.png
From Afterschoolsatan.com

When people find out I’m a Satanist, either by noticing my attire or I feel I can tell them, one of the questions they ask, if they also know I’m a teacher, is if I run “one of those After School Satan Clubs they saw on Facebook”.

No I don’t.

First off, let me sorta explain what an After School Satan Club is. To the best of my knowledge, the clubs were created by a group of well-meaning trolls who wanted to provide a space for children to learn STEAM programs in a secular environment. look, I get it. Doesn’t it sound really cool to have a place for little kids to be themselves and learn and grow, all under the loving eye of Papa Baphomet?!

No, actually, that sounds awful. One thing Satanists don’t do is force our religion on others, especially children, so the club’s desire to have the kids learn in a secular environment is instantly squashed by the name of the club itself.

The idea of a club also goes against Satanism as we have the internet. Yes, there used to be a grotto system in place, but that was before we could connect on social media. So, Satanists would never endorse a club for children, no matter how well-intentioned.

Here’s the thing, if you really want children to learn and grow in secular environments, there are better ways to do it. You can donate to the school or to clubs directly; you can go to sporting events or school plays; you can make sure to encourage children to work hard in areas they are interested in, even if it’s not something in which you are interested; you can be their cheerleader while also helping them improve. If you’re worried about education losing funding, call your local representative and make sure your voice is heard in a meaningful way, not stunts.

So, no, I don’t run an After School Satan Club, but I do run two clubs. These clubs operate based on my values and as much as that includes not forcing Satanism down people’s throats, it also includes pushing to be the best at what you do and becoming who you want to be, which does translate into my teaching. I want to give the kids the skills they need to go out and play DnD without me or leave Drama Club and get into a professional production. So, I guess I run a Club That Meets After School That Isn’t Satanic But The Teacher is a Satanist So The Club Teaches You How To Be a Better Person on the Down Low But is Mostly About Life Skills. A CTMASTISBTTSSTCTYHTBBPDLBMALS. Catchy.

Have a great rest of your day, my Devilish Darlings.

HS!

LH

I Want to Talk About Stan

So, you know that spot in the corner of the board that says what the date is and what is happening in the day? Well, mine has a little mascot.

images.jpeg
From Amazon

His name is Stan and he kind of looks like this. Stan is a very rich character and the students have made up an entire lore for Stan.

Stan started with a typo. The kids and I were putting on a haunted house  on Halloween and were brainstorming ideas for what we wanted in the various rooms. We were thinking of various scary things and had made a list consisting of things such as Zombies, Cannibals, Clowns, Chainsaw Clowns, Crazy Laughing People, and Dead Children.

Then one of my youngest students in Drama Club chimed in with “Satan Room”.

I would like to take a moment to remind readers that my students don’t know about my affiliations. I don’t wear my necklace around them; I don’t bring literature to school; I don’t talk to them about it. The same goes with my peers and most of my family. It’s a small town and I love my job. As long as I do these things I feel secure.

So he says Satan Room, and he meant like a bunch of people in black robes in a dark room with a pentagram sacrificing something unseen while people walk through and we follow them. I put myself in this room, after it got voted in, to make sure nobody came in and just freaked the hell out. (One lady did start praying in Spanish, though).

So, as I was writing down “Satan Room” I was thinking about something else and just wrote “Stan Room”. This is when Stan was born. After some banter, they decided that “Stan” was the projector that we were always fighting with because he was sometimes in charge of if we could do a lesson or not. Stan was a powerful force. Not long after, I got the little snake and put him on the board so that it read “Stan says it’s (Date) and today we are doing (Whatever)”.

Well, again, I didn’t pick the name. I had the middle school kids vote on what we should call it and, again after some banter, they decided on Stan. It was a close vote, but one student won over the majority of the class by saying “the snake was Stan but in real life”.

Seriously these kids have really great story-telling abilities. I’m sure there are stories of Stan that have yet to be written or told to me. So sometimes, when the projector is being really annoying, the kids will look towards the damn thing and start saying things like “Come on, Stan!”; “Please, Stan, don’t!”; “Hail Stan”. Some kids want it to work and others don’t. Stan doesn’t care and does what it pleases. Stupid thing.

So, that’s Stan. Please send in your best Stan fan art.

HS!

LH

Families Belong Together

So, if you’re following the news at all you have heard of what’s going on at our southern border. If not, let me give you a little bit of a recap.

NPR states: “Since early May, 2,342 children have been separated from their parents after crossing the Southern U.S. border, according to the Department of Homeland Security, as part of a new immigration strategy by the Trump administration that has prompted widespread outcry.”

The children are taken from the families, though we don’t have information on how or who is taking them, and they are being put in holding areas that are basically cages with few amenities and little time outside.

ap_18168855174108_wide-cae44ccca2db295cfd3fb446652a82d7c80a0bd6-s1700-c85.jpg
Taken from NPR who received it fromU.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Rio Grande Valley Sector via AP

Today I was at DnD with a few of my friends, one of which is a conservative and a Fake Christian. One person who also comes is my Ex, who I’ve spoken about in a previous post, and he is a conservative and a Hardcore Christian. Not long after I arrived today they started chatting about how what is happening at the border is a good thing. They said these people don’t have rights.

I asked for the conversation to stop and was told to shut up.

Wow. Instead of just having a nice night and playing our game, they decided to disrespect me and condone child abuse. So, I left. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit for being a human with a heart. oh, and if you’re wondering, they’re both white dudes.

What amazed me the most in this situation was the total disregard for the philosophy on which they were raised. They claim to want to go to heaven to meet God and to do so they must obey the laws of God. I’m sorry, but I don’t think God is going to be very happy with the people separating families and abusing “His” children.

God wants you to love one another and be kind, if my readings are correct, and Christians always claim to be good people. Yeah? Prove it. Because all I am seeing from your people is hate. Those assholes who love guns are always Christian. The Bible is being used to justify these abhorrent human rights violations.

“Oh, but Lauren, I’M not one of those people and I’m a Christian!” Well, first off, this is an interesting blog for you to read. Second off, you need to do better. You need to speak out LOUDLY for what you do believe instead of allowing these people to represent you.

Let’s pretend for a moment that God is real, just for fun. Let’s also say that Tim and I die at the same time and reach the gates of heaven together, both awaiting judgment. Who do you think will get into heaven? The Christian who never once tried to do anything to benefit the world in any way but thinks child abuse is okay. He jokes often about rape and, as I can tell you from experience, is exactly what you imagine when you think of White Male privilege. Or do you think God will allow in the Satanist who contributed to the world and is doing all she can to make these horrors stop. I can’t do much, but I’m making my voice heard. Call your representatives, kids.

Personally, I think God would send Tim straight to hell. I don’t think “God created the universe” so that some people could be cruel to others. I think God would be livid. Fuck, he’d probably be pissed about borders in general since it’s all one world and we are “all his children”.

But God isn’t real. Nor Allah, nor Thor, nor the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are real. You and I and we have a responsibility to do as much as we can do fix this. Those children are real and they are scared and alone.

So, what happens next? When will we start really fighting back? I get it, I’m sure there’s more I could do, though I don’t have the means at the moment, but as soon as people start taking to the streets, I’m there. As soon as I have the means, I will aid in any way I can. I want to be able to go down there and comfort those babies but I can’t. I want to be able to make it all stop, but I can’t. Not alone.

If all of the atrocities occurring are fine with you then you have a lower moral standard than a Satanist and I’m sure you’re the kind of person who would be pissed by that.

Do good, my Darling Devils.

HS!

LH

I’m Not Afraid

Recently, during our little chat, Reverend Campbell asked me if I was at all nervous about being an “out” Satanist, if you will, since I work with kids and have what may is a sensitive position as a teacher. What I mean by an “out” Satanist is that you guys know my name. It’s attached to this blog, as well as other Satanic blogs and sites, which means if you Google me, Satan shit will pop up along with my tiny IMDB page. This has been an issue for people in the past because the masses have a very negative perception of the Church of Satan. Why? Well, because they think that Satan is evil and represents anything they consider “bad”.

So, am I afraid that I will be fired or thrown out of my family because I am a Satanist? No. I’m not. I’m not afraid of work “finding out” (as if it were something I should be ashamed of) because I know they won’t find anything wrong. I don’t bring my Satanic Bible or other literature to school with me; I hide my Sigil of Baphomet necklace when I am around my students and other educators; and I don’t talk about Satanism with any family or colleagues. I don’t feel like religion is an appropriate topic for work, especially a public school, and I also don’t want to take the time to have to explain that I don’t pray to the actual devil.

2-baphomet-2
Borrowed from Church of Satan website… I can give it back if you want

But, let’s say that a parent did see that I write this blog and decides to contact the school with a complaint. What would happen? Well, I hope that my Principal would take the time to talk to me first so that I can explain all of this to him personally. I don’t want to be seen as somebody who kills animals and kids to summon an all-powerful fire daddy to do my bidding because I’m not. At the same time, there’s nothing my school could legally do.

The Washington State Religious Discrimination Laws state that “This type of discrimination entails making employment decisions based upon someone’s faith, or lack thereof. This could be refusing to hire an employee because he or she is a Seventh-Day Adventist or Orthodox Jew and observes a Saturday Sabbath; firing an employee after he or she misses work to observe a religious holiday […]

This makes me feel a lot more secure in my job because the school doesn’t want to deal with any legal backlash. I would never take any legal action, but they don’t know that and probably don’t want to risk it. The parents, on the other hand, can simply decide to take their kids out of my class if they are really that ridiculous, but the students would probably throw a fit. They like me.

When it comes to my family, I am even less worried. The only person I need by my side is my Mom and I know she wouldn’t give a shit and a half as long as I’m not in danger. Throughout my whole life she has made it very clear that religion is a personal decision and, while she is agnostic, she will understand and support me. I plan on telling her sometime soon, just not when my Dad is around.

Dad is a Fake Christian. This means he used to go to church every Sunday as a child and now goes maybe once every three years and that’s only if he gets invited to a Christmas service or some shit. He would be very upset to find out I’m a Citizen of the Infernal Empire and that’s totally fine with me. My Dad wasn’t really a part of my life for 17 years so if he finds out and decides not to talk to me for a few years, I’ll be okay. He would eventually get over himself, but it might take a while, and that’s okay.

Other family members would stop talking to me all together. To be honest, these aren’t the people I even want to be a part of my life.  They’re judgmental, pushy, and racist and they do it all while hiding behind the guise of Christianity and Jesus. Besides, I don’t like going to church with them or bowing my hair in fake prayer just to eat their shitty dinners.

So, long story short, no, I’m not afraid of people finding out I’m a Satanist because it will weed out the assholes for me. I have Hindu friends/family and Christian friends/family and Atheist friends/family and Agnostic friends/family and more. If they can’t have one person in their lives who is a Satanist, they can see themselves out.

Remember, even if you feel abandoned and alone, you always have me, my sweet Little Lucifers.

HS!

LH

God Failed Me.

I know God isn’t real so the title of this blog might seem a little strange but it is going to make sense in the end. If you watched my recent video with Reverend Campbell you might remember me saying that I had only been a Satanist for about a year and a half now and a Citizen of the Infernal Empire since February 2018.

I’ve been thinking about these answers and figures and I realize that I need to elaborate a little bit. So, I think it’s time to tell you guys a story. It’s a sad story, but it has a happy ending. It’s going to cover a lot of ground, but I promise it won’t be too long.

My parents met in late in 1992 when my Mom was on her way to Dairy Queen and Dad was out driving with his friend. He was in Washington State for the Navy and was out looking for a party when he was blonde hair in a car and thought she might be going to one. Well, when they got to DQ, they met, and it must have been love at first sight because I was born during April 1994. My parents got married not long after finding out Mom was pregnant and not long after I was born my parents moved back to Pennsylvania where my Dad is from.

A year after that, my parents got a divorce. To be totally honest, I don’t know exactly why. Mom has said things like they were too young and were in different places in life and crap like that, but I know better. My Dad was too young to be a Dad and Mom had to step up and do it all. She did just that. My Mom is a bad ass woman and it might be easy to blame the rest of this story on her, but I don’t and if you say something bad about my Mom I will freak out. She’s an amazing woman and everything I hope to be one day.

132488_10150149183377782_4750_o.jpg
Christmas a few years ago

So, Mom and I went back to Washington to be with her side of the family. She worked a lot and my grandma would take care of me or my aunt or family friends. Mom had a few short-term boyfriends who I don’t remember after my Dad, but they never worked out. Then she met a person who we will call Sam.

Mom was with Sam for 17 of my 19 years and Sam is the father of my Half-Sister and Half-Brother. I love those kids so much and am thankful they are here; Don’t forget that during the rest of this story.

Sam abused my Mom and I. After my Sister was born, everything changed with him. He started drinking all night, every night. He drove us to Christmas dinner after drinking a fifth of vodka. He gambled away our money until we got evicted from house after house after house. Mom used to have to take us an hour away to find him because he was too drunk and out of money. One time, when my Dad called, Sam picked up and told him his daughter had two black eyes.

Sam once forced me to pee my pants. He refused to let me use a toilet and then laughed at me and made me clean it up and then worse. Then my sweet little brother was born. Nothing changed. I have internal and external scars from Sam that I will always carry. There were many times when I thought I was going to die and sometimes that was okay.

I have a semi-religious family. They took me to church sometimes, mostly when I was back east, and while I was never a Christian, I did try to reach God. When I was locked in a closet all day, I prayed all day. After a knife cut a deep, red line across my skin, I prayed until the bleeding stopped. I was desperate and alone and I was willing to try anything, so I prayed.

Nothing happened. Nothing changed. My Mom was the one who saved me in the end because she had taken enough. She had been trying to do her best for my little Brother and Sister, but she knew nothing would be good for them if she were dead. I had also finally told her the extend of the abuse I had faced at Sam’s hand. She had no idea.

In the middle of the night one night, we grabbed everything and we left. We took the animals and enough clothing to get us through a week. I went to school though nobody else went to their normal activities because school was a haven for me, even though I had to worked through abuse from me peers there. I worked my ass of and ended up going to college during school because I knew I needed to succeed. That would mean I had won.

Not long after all this, my Mom married my Dad again and they are still married to this day. It was a hard transition for my Sister and Brother, as well as myself, because we were all on edge. I’m still hand-shy. Sam tried his best to break us, though. He got us evicted and lied so my Dad would lose his job. I was, for some reason, followed by the police because of him.

But we are here now and we have all won. I am a teacher and a professional Lighting Designer. My Mom works in the same school district as I do and Dad is a tower crane operator. My sister is going to WSU and my Brother is my student so I can check his grades and he is currently getting all A’s.

Sam works at a casino, which is fine, but also has 3 DUIs and is massively in debt. Well, I think he should have 3 but only has 1 because he wiggled his way out of them.

We won.

11102648_10204023802901463_7723572068033683111_n.jpg
Dad, Me, and Mom on my birthday a year ago

What I am trying to get at here is that I’ve always been a Satanist, even when I was praying in a closet for hours. It madam realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. You can get help from friends and family like I did, but you have to ask and you have to make it known you need help. I kept myself alive and anybody who tries to tell me God helped can kiss my clitoris because it was me; Me and My Mom and my family.

I’m not looking for sympathy or tears here because I’ve had a wonderful life thus far. I’ve traveled the country in 18-wheeler trucks and learned to bowl in Wyoming. The guy who taught me had 3 fingers and that’s all he could do anymore. I’ve seen more stars in the sky than I could even imagine because I was so far out in the middle of nowhere. I taught myself a piece of My Heart Will Go On while in Florida on the edge of a hurricane. I’ve seen Hamilton! I get to be a teacher and be in love with my Best Friend. I get to have a wonderful family who will always love me. I get to live in the most beautiful state in the USA. I’ve traveled in tug boat and have flown in so many airplanes that I can feel us starting our decent before the pilot even announces it.

Yeah, I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve done a lot already and I’m only 24! I can’t wait to see where I take myself next in life.

Hae a great rest of your Sunday, my Sweet Satanists!

HS!

LH

I Feel Defeated

I woke up this morning at 8:43 and went to the bathroom. I had my morning glass of OJ and sat down to give myself a minute or two to shake the feeling of sleep off of my shoulders. I rubbed the tired from my eyes and grabbed my phone to catch up on the  happenings in the world.

As soon as Twitter opened, my body went rigid and I started to cry. Even now as I am writing this tears have welled up to blur my vision. Here’s what I saw.

Screen Shot 2018-05-18 at 6.12.41 PM.png
From Reuters

I almost don’t know what to write. I’m still in shock and trying not to imagine the faces of my own sweet students lying on the ground shot to death. I love my students to the moon and back, all of them, so when I see these shootings, all I can think about is when it is going to be my school? When will I have to decide to save myself or save a student? Will I make the right choice?

My heart breaks for the people involved. Basically a gunman came in and blasted students away with a shotgun. Since he is white the news is letting us know all about how he was “Quiet” and “Normal”. I even know he used to play football. I don’t care about the shooter. I don’t.

I don’t even know the faces and names of the babies who will never graduate. They will never go to prom or get accepted to a university. They will never fall in love or get married or have babies. And I still don’t know their names. 10 people were killed. 9 students and a teacher just trying to make it to the weekend were killed. 10 others were wounded.

IMG_20180518_175201.jpg
Santa Fe High School Students 28 days ago

I feel defeated. It’s hard not to when children are dying and nobody is doing anything about it. But, I will not be defeated. I will not stop making sure each of the students at my high school know they can come to me if they feel as if they want to do something like this and it can be dealt with safely. I will not stop teaching my students how to run, hide, fight. I will not stop doing active shooting drills in my classroom, even if admin doesn’t want me to. I will not be defeated because that is not productive.

We owe it to our students to do something, anything, so they stop dying. I used to be nice about this and say we should try to appease both sides but I’m done with that. It’s obvious to me that we as a species can’t have guns. So yeah, at this point, we need to take away the guns. Feel free to shit on me and try to say I’m just a bleeding-heart libtard. I don’t care.

Until our students stop bleeding out from gunshot wounds, I want to take your guns away. And I am an advocate for people having guns if they want them, but I am also an advocate for gun safety and consequences. If this many students died in school from food poisoning, we would be doing something. Gun safety zones aren’t enough and obviously people don’t give a shit about those, so just take them all away.

Fight me on that.

DYRUYz1U0AAWAZj.jpg-large
One of mine

Love each other.

HS

LH