I’d like to say Thank You

For those who don’t know, today is the day in history in which Anton LaVey shuffled off this mortal coil in 1997, but that’s not what I’m here for really focus on. Instead, I’d like to say thank you.

Something that really amazes me is that LaVey created Satanism and was able to pull me into a religion 20 years after his death! (I joined last year). Talk about some strong lesser magic. I remember looking through the various pages on the Church of Satan site and being entranced by the pictures of LaVey in these dark, interesting photos, surrounded by imagery that many would call “creepy”.

lavey-ritual-tier.jpg
Photo Credit: Church of Satan Archives 

Well, I thought they were damn cool! I was drawn further into the Church of Satan because this man was presenting himself as confident, dark, and creative, which was something I saw in myself as well. I wanted to know more.

I realize now that this is the second layer of defense that LaVey had against those he didn’t want in the Church of Satan, the first being the name. If you can hear that title, see the Satanic imagery and still want to learn more, then you might be a Satanist. Probably not, but maybe. Once you allow yourself to sink into the darkness and have fun with it, you can get down into the beliefs into the Church of Satan, which are nothing more than (seemingly) obvious.

Some people say that they find themselves within a religion and I just gotta say, that’s total bullshit. I didn’t find myself within The Satanic Bible, but I saw me. I saw LaVey sitting down with a glass of red wine, creating a religion for himself that was able to reach past his death, 20 years into the future, and touch me. I didn’t need a name for how I was living my life, because I was always going to be living in a Satanic manner, but I had the name Satanism because of Anton LaVey.

lavey-snake-portrait.jpg
Photo Credit: Church of Satan Archives

I saw those people around me worshipping an idea that never seemed to actually do anything but was still given all the credit and that pissed me off. I saw people harming others and forcing their ideas onto others in the name of this idea and that pissed me off. LaVey saw this, too, and created something else. I am the god that must be worshipped. I am the god that can change tides and move mountains and I WILL be given credit where credit is due.

So, thank you Dr. LaVey, for seeing clearly. Thank you for taking what I was feeling my whole life and putting it to paper, decades before I was a glimmer in my mama’s eye. Thank you for being unapologetic about who you were and what you enjoyed. Thank you for creating The Satanic Bible and the Church of Satan so that I might eventually wander through its proverbial doors and discover I was already there, leafing through the pages.

There are various hats I wear in various times in my life. Downtown Party Lauren isn’t the same as Teaching Children Lauren isn’t the same as Lighting Designer Lauren, but one thing I always keep with me is the words written by Anton LaVey, as the teachings of Satanism, the ones I felt but never had the words for, will always inform my decisions.

So, thank you to Anton LaVey, and also to the rest of the founding members that have taken up the torch since LaVey passed. It is because of them that young folks, like me, were able to finally have the word to describe who we are: Satanist.

Have a wonderful rest of your Monday, my Darling Devils, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Hail Anton LaVey!

HS!

LH

I Worship Beauty

I walk a lot. I like to take a route that goes from my house to downtown to the ferry docks and back. There’s a long trail that goes through two parks and the whole trek is probably about 4 miles. I try to do this walk whenever I can because not only is it good for my body but it is beautiful. I get to see the various people and buildings downtown and the brick and older folk that hangout in the Fairhaven area. I also get to walk through the forest and along the Puget Sound, where I’ll sometimes see various animals such as seals and ducks playing in the water. It’s a beautiful walk and I greatly enjoy my time. (Also, my butt looks great).

IMG_20180524_193533_191.jpg
Not from last night, but still from my route

Last night’s walk was particularly wonderful for a few reasons. For one, the weather wasn’t super hot, though it was a little muggy, but the clouds were back and there was a light rain, so it wasn’t too bad. At one point, it did start raining a little harder, though this was a great mishap as I was able to get an espresso poured over Oreo gelato and it was AMAZING! I also had to wait on two long trains, which was not amazing, but that’s okay.

A few times, I would stop on my walk and just look around at all the wonderful beauty around me. Normally, I walk while listening to music, but when I take my little moments, I pause the sound and listen to whatever there is to hear. Sometimes, its conversation. Other times, all I hear are the sounds of The Sound; waves shush against the beach rocks, gulls and ducks chatter and dip under the water, and the wind whispers damp, salty air through my hair.

It was lovely. Well, until some damn woman came up and started talking to me. She wanted to point out the river otters that were playing just off shore, which I had been looking at, and comment on the general beauty of the scene. I agreed with her. The sun was setting and streaming through small breaks in the clouds onto the calm Puget Sound waters. In some places, the pink light caught the shadow of rain falling in the distance, dyeing it.

The woman then signed deeply and said “God is great” and, since this was a stranger, I simply nodded in agreement. I understood what she meant and I also didn’t want to get into an argument with a stranger on a dock. What she saw was a scene made for her by a creator who she called God. She thought she was seeing His hand in the waves, the hills, the birds, the light. She thought that she was seeing God through nature.

In the end, we agreed. What she was trying to say to me was that she thought what we were seeing together was breathtaking, which was true, we just had a different perspective. I think mine is far more beautiful than a creator. I look at the Puget Sound and I see the randomness of The Universe that, hundreds of years ago, began to create the necessary components for stars, which warm our home. The Sun just so happened to form and Earth came together just in the perfect spot for liquid water to occur, giving life a fighting chance. That water froze and flowed and changed the face of the planet, changed where my ancestors came and went, changed my life. The choices of people who would never know me or imagine me made it possible for me to even exist on this random planet.

I looked at the beauty of the Puget Sound as I stood there with this woman and felt awe. I was blessed with life thanks to events out of my control and that is what I worship. I thank the Universe for existing and Life for allowing me to experience it. I would never credit such glory to anything but nature and my heart hurt slightly for the woman who would never bother to learn about what really had to happen for us to be standing there together, looking at the river otters gliding through the water, because she thought she already knew. She thought it was a gift from God.

I said my goodbye and began to walk, Lighting Crashes by Live playing in my headphones. Others had stopped to watch the river otters in the sunset-stained water and I wondered how they saw the moment. I wondered if they were even thinking about it.

Later on, I was alone on the trail and saw the river otter again, this time swimming in a water hole shaded by birch trees. I had the moment to myself this time and didn’t waste it thinking about glaciers or god. This time, I watched the otter glide between flustered geese and ducks. I took note of how his nose popped up and down as he swam and how the color of his coat matched the logs that he slid past.

The sun has started to come out and seems to promise another beautiful evening walk. I can’t wait to see what the universe has for me to stumble upon today.

Hail Beauty, my Darlings!

HS!

LH

 

We Journey Further into The Pit

Hello, My Dearest Devils, and welcome back! I am excited to continue down the path, further into the torturous realm of “sinners”, or so they were labeled by The Church in order to sway the public’s opinion of them. As we enter the fourth level, we are ignored.

The souls here are too preoccupied with pushing massive weights at each other in a slow, unending joust. One group are the souls that hoarded possessions while the others spent it without thought and are now watched over by Pluto. Here, we see many prominent Cardinals and Popes.

Stradano_Inferno_Canto_07.jpg

This is the last circle we will enter with our friend Dante as this is the last that corresponds with our Seven Deadly Sins, besides Anger, so we might visit when that pops us for us as Rage. If you guys enjoy this series, we can always come back and complete the tour of Hell. If that goes well, I can do a series on The Seven Heavenly Virtues, too, just for fun.

But, for now, let’s talk about Greed. To be honest, I think this one could be lumped up with Envy or, again, Lust, but that’s based off the definition found on this website Deadlysins.com. It says:

“Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness” -DeadlySins.com

See? Seems like Lust or Envy to me, so I’m going to base this entry off the definition from Dante:

“Here, more than elsewhere, I saw multitudes
to every side of me; their howls were loud
while, wheeling weights, they used their chests to push.
They struck against each other; at that point,
each turned around and, wheeling back those weights,
cried out, ‘Why do you hoard?” “Why do you squander?”
So did they move around the sorry circle
from left and right to the opposing point;
again, again they cried their chant of scorn;
and so, when each of them had changed positions,
he circled halfway back to his next joust.” (Inf. VII, 25-36)

Here, Greed is defined as keeping too much for yourself and also spending all you have, which is interesting because it seems like there’s no escaping it then. Also, don’t worry, charitable donation to The Church doesn’t count and will actually help you get into Heaven!

Let’s break it down now.

As I have said before, and will say again, Indulgence not Compulsion! It’s okay to collect, but don’t get crazy, right? Unless its books and you’re taking care of them, because that’s a library and bitches love libraries.

So, a wonderful author and friend of mine, Logospilgrim, collects vintage toys, or it may be toys in general… or maybe just cool 70’s stuff. I think it’s all of those, actually. Well, she collects these things that make her happy! Everything moves her in some way and being around them becomes a sort of ritual time for her.

For me, its posters of shows I’ve worked on in the past few years. I’m really proud of each show I’ve done and looking at the posters can give me just the boost of confidence I need.

I also know a family who keeps everything. They have just all this crap that they don’t need and there’s crap all over the floors and it’s not clean and UGH. I hate it I can’t go there anymore because I just feel so sicked out and I’m afraid of what it looks like now. I shudder at the thought.

There’s the big difference. Satanists know that collecting items that mean something to you, or that brings you joy in some way, is totally fine, but you can’t let it take over your life. Well, unless you’re Reverend Campbell because people keep just sending him cigars and he just can’t help it at this point.

Then there’s the other side of the fight between the Greedy A-holes in Hell. Those who spend more on themselves than The Church thought they should. This just seems like a ploy to get more money to The Church to be honest, though I can get behind the message.

Obviously it’s your money and you shouldn’t listen to me, a 24-year-old child, on finances. That being said, I do know that you should save in case there are unforeseen bumps in the road or if there are things you see that you decide you want. Maybe you want a nicer car or you car breaks down. Either way, you need money.

But you can still treat yourself as long as you stay within your means. As I said in a previous post, my treat is a McChicken. I really love the damn things and it just so happens that they’re very cheap, though then I have a problem of slipping into Gluttony!

That’s all for this post, my friends, though I hope to have a new Infernal Interview for you soon!

Have a delightful day my lovely Lucifers!

HS!

LH

This is your Daily Reminder to Sin

The party’s not over… Lauren’s back! *Fist bumps to music*

Hey there, friends, I know I’ve been gone for a long time, but I was coming up with a fun set of essays for you! Also, I was camping, breaking down on the side of the road, staying in a Wal-Mart parking lot for a day and a half, house sitting, cleaning, and generally enjoying my summer.

But now I’m back! So, welcome to the first in a seven-part series where we dive into the Seven Deadly Sins and how they can be interpreted in a Satanic way. Now, I want to again make it clear that I don’t speak for the Church of Satan or any of its other members. These is just what’s going on in my strange brain.

This is your Daily Reminder to Sin

First up to bat is one of my favorite Deadly Sins: Lust!

1430166436356.jpeg
From seven sins.com

I’m starting here because it was often considered the least harmful of the deadly sins and it also places us on the path Dante fallows in Inferno, which I highly recommend, it is awesome. There, Lust is described as “excessive love for others” but we also tend to associate lust with the pleasures of the flesh. Lust can also talk about material things such as a lust for money or a lust for fame. Honestly, I don’t know why they bothered with the other sins when it seems Lust can cover them all.

Okay, here’s what up with lust. To have these fleshly desires, one is admitting that they are closer to animal than God, which doesn’t really fit the narrative of The Church. These feelings of Lust, however they manifested, also meant that you put something above God which makes God real jealous so he will send you to hell, I guess. I don’t pretend to know how they believe this stuff, especially since their God is so “loving”. I digress… (Don’t even get me started on unbaptized babies).

So, if you’re loving something more than God and you’re admitting you’re an animal with desires just like any other animal. That flies in the face of every story The Church has to keep their flock coming back, thus they make sinners out of normal, human feelings. If somebody is trying to force you into subservience and is trying to keep themselves in power, it is very easy to control you if you’re already hating yourself.

When you go to confession and tell them about how you had boner for a chick in the market the other day, he’ll tell you to go home and pray on it and say this amount of whatever, but that doesn’t really do anything… right? All it does is waste your time because these are the Deadly Sins… right? Whatever, so now you’re home and you sit there praying and wasting your time and then do it all over again because you can always go back and confess again and you will because you’re scared. You’re scared to go to hell.

*Satanists, roll your eyes here*

How awful it must be to live in this fear of yourself. First of all, I don’t have an issue with putting God first because that’s me, I am my own God. That alone sends me WAY into the depths of hell, anyway, so fuck it with the rest, am I right?

But why shouldn’t I allow myself the pleasures of the flesh? They’re fun and it’s a totally natural feeling. Satanists know that we are just human animals and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with lusting after people as long as you’re not a dick about it. (Lauren’s Rule #1: Don’t be a dick about it)

Lusting after wealth and such can be good, too, but you can’t let it ruin your life. As long as I am considering myself God, then yeah don’t put anything before god… as long as god is you because self-preservation is the highest law. But if what I lust for is a nicer car, I have to work to get that nicer car and that lust is a motivator.

Again, nothing should take over your life. Satanists practice Indulgence not Compulsion, which can include working too hard or wanting after something too much. It’s not good for people obsess to the point of addiction.

So, go forth and lust after whatever! As long as all you’re doing is bettering yourself or your situation, there can be no harm in lusting.

That’s all for the day, kids! I need to eat something.

HS!

LH

Families Belong Together

So, if you’re following the news at all you have heard of what’s going on at our southern border. If not, let me give you a little bit of a recap.

NPR states: “Since early May, 2,342 children have been separated from their parents after crossing the Southern U.S. border, according to the Department of Homeland Security, as part of a new immigration strategy by the Trump administration that has prompted widespread outcry.”

The children are taken from the families, though we don’t have information on how or who is taking them, and they are being put in holding areas that are basically cages with few amenities and little time outside.

ap_18168855174108_wide-cae44ccca2db295cfd3fb446652a82d7c80a0bd6-s1700-c85.jpg
Taken from NPR who received it fromU.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Rio Grande Valley Sector via AP

Today I was at DnD with a few of my friends, one of which is a conservative and a Fake Christian. One person who also comes is my Ex, who I’ve spoken about in a previous post, and he is a conservative and a Hardcore Christian. Not long after I arrived today they started chatting about how what is happening at the border is a good thing. They said these people don’t have rights.

I asked for the conversation to stop and was told to shut up.

Wow. Instead of just having a nice night and playing our game, they decided to disrespect me and condone child abuse. So, I left. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit for being a human with a heart. oh, and if you’re wondering, they’re both white dudes.

What amazed me the most in this situation was the total disregard for the philosophy on which they were raised. They claim to want to go to heaven to meet God and to do so they must obey the laws of God. I’m sorry, but I don’t think God is going to be very happy with the people separating families and abusing “His” children.

God wants you to love one another and be kind, if my readings are correct, and Christians always claim to be good people. Yeah? Prove it. Because all I am seeing from your people is hate. Those assholes who love guns are always Christian. The Bible is being used to justify these abhorrent human rights violations.

“Oh, but Lauren, I’M not one of those people and I’m a Christian!” Well, first off, this is an interesting blog for you to read. Second off, you need to do better. You need to speak out LOUDLY for what you do believe instead of allowing these people to represent you.

Let’s pretend for a moment that God is real, just for fun. Let’s also say that Tim and I die at the same time and reach the gates of heaven together, both awaiting judgment. Who do you think will get into heaven? The Christian who never once tried to do anything to benefit the world in any way but thinks child abuse is okay. He jokes often about rape and, as I can tell you from experience, is exactly what you imagine when you think of White Male privilege. Or do you think God will allow in the Satanist who contributed to the world and is doing all she can to make these horrors stop. I can’t do much, but I’m making my voice heard. Call your representatives, kids.

Personally, I think God would send Tim straight to hell. I don’t think “God created the universe” so that some people could be cruel to others. I think God would be livid. Fuck, he’d probably be pissed about borders in general since it’s all one world and we are “all his children”.

But God isn’t real. Nor Allah, nor Thor, nor the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are real. You and I and we have a responsibility to do as much as we can do fix this. Those children are real and they are scared and alone.

So, what happens next? When will we start really fighting back? I get it, I’m sure there’s more I could do, though I don’t have the means at the moment, but as soon as people start taking to the streets, I’m there. As soon as I have the means, I will aid in any way I can. I want to be able to go down there and comfort those babies but I can’t. I want to be able to make it all stop, but I can’t. Not alone.

If all of the atrocities occurring are fine with you then you have a lower moral standard than a Satanist and I’m sure you’re the kind of person who would be pissed by that.

Do good, my Darling Devils.

HS!

LH

I Read a Book (Part 1/2)

So, I was sent two books and I was going to cover both in one post, but I just finished the first and I HAVE to talk about it RIGHT NOW.

IMG_20180615_173341.jpg
Read it. Now.

I loved this book for so, so many reasons and I tried to keep track of it all as I was reading in my little bits of spare time. Unholy crap it is wonderful.

Just a little background: This was sent to me by Logospilgrim, a writer with a degree in Religious Studies, which sounds like a really interesting field. If you want to pick up this book and others, check out her website Logospilgrim.com.

So, to be honest, I went into this blind and couldn’t tell right away if this was fiction or nonfiction. The reason why I thought it might be fiction was because it almost read as if it were an account of an angel of God who had escaped and turned towards Satan. Seriously, it’s really good.

It became clear to me quickly that this was not a work of fiction and then I fell in love with the text in a whole new way. First off, it reads more as Prose Poetry than anything else, which I love because it allows the words to take on new power. In the areas of self-acceptance, the words are pleasing in mouth feel and are sonically kind.  They tend to lean towards the multi-sylballic romantic. When talking about religions and abuse, the words become sharp and hard, living in the short, Anglo-Saxon area of the vocabulary.

The book speaks on behalf in the necessity of the Seven Deadly Sins in life and how allowing yourself to indulge in each is the key to feeling free to be yourself. It blurs the lines between abuse and religions, drawing comparisons between God and a person who is mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Also a perfect Alien reference thrown in there, which is great.

The influence of Anton LaVey can’t be denied as one reads through a beautiful account of learning to re-accept and love yourself. If you’re playing with the idea of Satanism or are a Satanist and you’re also dealing with abuse or learning to heal now that you’re free, I recommend this book with all my heart. As I have said in previous posts, I was abused, and I see my story, like I know so many others will, as I read this books. I also see my healing and my path to becoming even more whole.

So, thank you, Logos, for sharing this story with me. I can’t wait to get to the next one. Her Infernal Interview will accompany the next review.

To Vital Existence.

HS!

LH

 

IMPORTANT EDIT: If you are in an abusive relationship or need help of ANY KIND, you can probably find a service on this List of Hotlines. It may be scary or hard, but the first step in these situations are always hard, but the first step needs to happen.

I’m Not Afraid

Recently, during our little chat, Reverend Campbell asked me if I was at all nervous about being an “out” Satanist, if you will, since I work with kids and have what may is a sensitive position as a teacher. What I mean by an “out” Satanist is that you guys know my name. It’s attached to this blog, as well as other Satanic blogs and sites, which means if you Google me, Satan shit will pop up along with my tiny IMDB page. This has been an issue for people in the past because the masses have a very negative perception of the Church of Satan. Why? Well, because they think that Satan is evil and represents anything they consider “bad”.

So, am I afraid that I will be fired or thrown out of my family because I am a Satanist? No. I’m not. I’m not afraid of work “finding out” (as if it were something I should be ashamed of) because I know they won’t find anything wrong. I don’t bring my Satanic Bible or other literature to school with me; I hide my Sigil of Baphomet necklace when I am around my students and other educators; and I don’t talk about Satanism with any family or colleagues. I don’t feel like religion is an appropriate topic for work, especially a public school, and I also don’t want to take the time to have to explain that I don’t pray to the actual devil.

2-baphomet-2
Borrowed from Church of Satan website… I can give it back if you want

But, let’s say that a parent did see that I write this blog and decides to contact the school with a complaint. What would happen? Well, I hope that my Principal would take the time to talk to me first so that I can explain all of this to him personally. I don’t want to be seen as somebody who kills animals and kids to summon an all-powerful fire daddy to do my bidding because I’m not. At the same time, there’s nothing my school could legally do.

The Washington State Religious Discrimination Laws state that “This type of discrimination entails making employment decisions based upon someone’s faith, or lack thereof. This could be refusing to hire an employee because he or she is a Seventh-Day Adventist or Orthodox Jew and observes a Saturday Sabbath; firing an employee after he or she misses work to observe a religious holiday […]

This makes me feel a lot more secure in my job because the school doesn’t want to deal with any legal backlash. I would never take any legal action, but they don’t know that and probably don’t want to risk it. The parents, on the other hand, can simply decide to take their kids out of my class if they are really that ridiculous, but the students would probably throw a fit. They like me.

When it comes to my family, I am even less worried. The only person I need by my side is my Mom and I know she wouldn’t give a shit and a half as long as I’m not in danger. Throughout my whole life she has made it very clear that religion is a personal decision and, while she is agnostic, she will understand and support me. I plan on telling her sometime soon, just not when my Dad is around.

Dad is a Fake Christian. This means he used to go to church every Sunday as a child and now goes maybe once every three years and that’s only if he gets invited to a Christmas service or some shit. He would be very upset to find out I’m a Citizen of the Infernal Empire and that’s totally fine with me. My Dad wasn’t really a part of my life for 17 years so if he finds out and decides not to talk to me for a few years, I’ll be okay. He would eventually get over himself, but it might take a while, and that’s okay.

Other family members would stop talking to me all together. To be honest, these aren’t the people I even want to be a part of my life.  They’re judgmental, pushy, and racist and they do it all while hiding behind the guise of Christianity and Jesus. Besides, I don’t like going to church with them or bowing my hair in fake prayer just to eat their shitty dinners.

So, long story short, no, I’m not afraid of people finding out I’m a Satanist because it will weed out the assholes for me. I have Hindu friends/family and Christian friends/family and Atheist friends/family and Agnostic friends/family and more. If they can’t have one person in their lives who is a Satanist, they can see themselves out.

Remember, even if you feel abandoned and alone, you always have me, my sweet Little Lucifers.

HS!

LH