So, I was sent two books and I was going to cover both in one post, but I just finished the first and I HAVE to talk about it RIGHT NOW.
I loved this book for so, so many reasons and I tried to keep track of it all as I was reading in my little bits of spare time. Unholy crap it is wonderful.
Just a little background: This was sent to me by Logospilgrim, a writer with a degree in Religious Studies, which sounds like a really interesting field. If you want to pick up this book and others, check out her website Logospilgrim.com.
So, to be honest, I went into this blind and couldn’t tell right away if this was fiction or nonfiction. The reason why I thought it might be fiction was because it almost read as if it were an account of an angel of God who had escaped and turned towards Satan. Seriously, it’s really good.
It became clear to me quickly that this was not a work of fiction and then I fell in love with the text in a whole new way. First off, it reads more as Prose Poetry than anything else, which I love because it allows the words to take on new power. In the areas of self-acceptance, the words are pleasing in mouth feel and are sonically kind. They tend to lean towards the multi-sylballic romantic. When talking about religions and abuse, the words become sharp and hard, living in the short, Anglo-Saxon area of the vocabulary.
The book speaks on behalf in the necessity of the Seven Deadly Sins in life and how allowing yourself to indulge in each is the key to feeling free to be yourself. It blurs the lines between abuse and religions, drawing comparisons between God and a person who is mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Also a perfect Alien reference thrown in there, which is great.
The influence of Anton LaVey can’t be denied as one reads through a beautiful account of learning to re-accept and love yourself. If you’re playing with the idea of Satanism or are a Satanist and you’re also dealing with abuse or learning to heal now that you’re free, I recommend this book with all my heart. As I have said in previous posts, I was abused, and I see my story, like I know so many others will, as I read this books. I also see my healing and my path to becoming even more whole.
So, thank you, Logos, for sharing this story with me. I can’t wait to get to the next one. Her Infernal Interview will accompany the next review.
To Vital Existence.
IMPORTANT EDIT: If you are in an abusive relationship or need help of ANY KIND, you can probably find a service on this List of Hotlines. It may be scary or hard, but the first step in these situations are always hard, but the first step needs to happen.
Recently, during our little chat, Reverend Campbell asked me if I was at all nervous about being an “out” Satanist, if you will, since I work with kids and have what may is a sensitive position as a teacher. What I mean by an “out” Satanist is that you guys know my name. It’s attached to this blog, as well as other Satanic blogs and sites, which means if you Google me, Satan shit will pop up along with my tiny IMDB page. This has been an issue for people in the past because the masses have a very negative perception of the Church of Satan. Why? Well, because they think that Satan is evil and represents anything they consider “bad”.
So, am I afraid that I will be fired or thrown out of my family because I am a Satanist? No. I’m not. I’m not afraid of work “finding out” (as if it were something I should be ashamed of) because I know they won’t find anything wrong. I don’t bring my Satanic Bible or other literature to school with me; I hide my Sigil of Baphomet necklace when I am around my students and other educators; and I don’t talk about Satanism with any family or colleagues. I don’t feel like religion is an appropriate topic for work, especially a public school, and I also don’t want to take the time to have to explain that I don’t pray to the actual devil.
But, let’s say that a parent did see that I write this blog and decides to contact the school with a complaint. What would happen? Well, I hope that my Principal would take the time to talk to me first so that I can explain all of this to him personally. I don’t want to be seen as somebody who kills animals and kids to summon an all-powerful fire daddy to do my bidding because I’m not. At the same time, there’s nothing my school could legally do.
The Washington State Religious Discrimination Laws state that “This type of discrimination entails making employment decisions based upon someone’s faith, or lack thereof. This could be refusing to hire an employee because he or she is a Seventh-Day Adventist or Orthodox Jew and observes a Saturday Sabbath; firing an employee after he or she misses work to observe a religious holiday […]”
This makes me feel a lot more secure in my job because the school doesn’t want to deal with any legal backlash. I would never take any legal action, but they don’t know that and probably don’t want to risk it. The parents, on the other hand, can simply decide to take their kids out of my class if they are really that ridiculous, but the students would probably throw a fit. They like me.
When it comes to my family, I am even less worried. The only person I need by my side is my Mom and I know she wouldn’t give a shit and a half as long as I’m not in danger. Throughout my whole life she has made it very clear that religion is a personal decision and, while she is agnostic, she will understand and support me. I plan on telling her sometime soon, just not when my Dad is around.
Dad is a Fake Christian. This means he used to go to church every Sunday as a child and now goes maybe once every three years and that’s only if he gets invited to a Christmas service or some shit. He would be very upset to find out I’m a Citizen of the Infernal Empire and that’s totally fine with me. My Dad wasn’t really a part of my life for 17 years so if he finds out and decides not to talk to me for a few years, I’ll be okay. He would eventually get over himself, but it might take a while, and that’s okay.
Other family members would stop talking to me all together. To be honest, these aren’t the people I even want to be a part of my life. They’re judgmental, pushy, and racist and they do it all while hiding behind the guise of Christianity and Jesus. Besides, I don’t like going to church with them or bowing my hair in fake prayer just to eat their shitty dinners.
So, long story short, no, I’m not afraid of people finding out I’m a Satanist because it will weed out the assholes for me. I have Hindu friends/family and Christian friends/family and Atheist friends/family and Agnostic friends/family and more. If they can’t have one person in their lives who is a Satanist, they can see themselves out.
Remember, even if you feel abandoned and alone, you always have me, my sweet Little Lucifers.
I know God isn’t real so the title of this blog might seem a little strange but it is going to make sense in the end. If you watched my recent video with Reverend Campbell you might remember me saying that I had only been a Satanist for about a year and a half now and a Citizen of the Infernal Empire since February 2018.
I’ve been thinking about these answers and figures and I realize that I need to elaborate a little bit. So, I think it’s time to tell you guys a story. It’s a sad story, but it has a happy ending. It’s going to cover a lot of ground, but I promise it won’t be too long.
My parents met in late in 1992 when my Mom was on her way to Dairy Queen and Dad was out driving with his friend. He was in Washington State for the Navy and was out looking for a party when he was blonde hair in a car and thought she might be going to one. Well, when they got to DQ, they met, and it must have been love at first sight because I was born during April 1994. My parents got married not long after finding out Mom was pregnant and not long after I was born my parents moved back to Pennsylvania where my Dad is from.
A year after that, my parents got a divorce. To be totally honest, I don’t know exactly why. Mom has said things like they were too young and were in different places in life and crap like that, but I know better. My Dad was too young to be a Dad and Mom had to step up and do it all. She did just that. My Mom is a bad ass woman and it might be easy to blame the rest of this story on her, but I don’t and if you say something bad about my Mom I will freak out. She’s an amazing woman and everything I hope to be one day.
So, Mom and I went back to Washington to be with her side of the family. She worked a lot and my grandma would take care of me or my aunt or family friends. Mom had a few short-term boyfriends who I don’t remember after my Dad, but they never worked out. Then she met a person who we will call Sam.
Mom was with Sam for 17 of my 19 years and Sam is the father of my Half-Sister and Half-Brother. I love those kids so much and am thankful they are here; Don’t forget that during the rest of this story.
Sam abused my Mom and I. After my Sister was born, everything changed with him. He started drinking all night, every night. He drove us to Christmas dinner after drinking a fifth of vodka. He gambled away our money until we got evicted from house after house after house. Mom used to have to take us an hour away to find him because he was too drunk and out of money. One time, when my Dad called, Sam picked up and told him his daughter had two black eyes.
Sam once forced me to pee my pants. He refused to let me use a toilet and then laughed at me and made me clean it up and then worse. Then my sweet little brother was born. Nothing changed. I have internal and external scars from Sam that I will always carry. There were many times when I thought I was going to die and sometimes that was okay.
I have a semi-religious family. They took me to church sometimes, mostly when I was back east, and while I was never a Christian, I did try to reach God. When I was locked in a closet all day, I prayed all day. After a knife cut a deep, red line across my skin, I prayed until the bleeding stopped. I was desperate and alone and I was willing to try anything, so I prayed.
Nothing happened. Nothing changed. My Mom was the one who saved me in the end because she had taken enough. She had been trying to do her best for my little Brother and Sister, but she knew nothing would be good for them if she were dead. I had also finally told her the extend of the abuse I had faced at Sam’s hand. She had no idea.
In the middle of the night one night, we grabbed everything and we left. We took the animals and enough clothing to get us through a week. I went to school though nobody else went to their normal activities because school was a haven for me, even though I had to worked through abuse from me peers there. I worked my ass of and ended up going to college during school because I knew I needed to succeed. That would mean I had won.
Not long after all this, my Mom married my Dad again and they are still married to this day. It was a hard transition for my Sister and Brother, as well as myself, because we were all on edge. I’m still hand-shy. Sam tried his best to break us, though. He got us evicted and lied so my Dad would lose his job. I was, for some reason, followed by the police because of him.
But we are here now and we have all won. I am a teacher and a professional Lighting Designer. My Mom works in the same school district as I do and Dad is a tower crane operator. My sister is going to WSU and my Brother is my student so I can check his grades and he is currently getting all A’s.
Sam works at a casino, which is fine, but also has 3 DUIs and is massively in debt. Well, I think he should have 3 but only has 1 because he wiggled his way out of them.
What I am trying to get at here is that I’ve always been a Satanist, even when I was praying in a closet for hours. It madam realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. You can get help from friends and family like I did, but you have to ask and you have to make it known you need help. I kept myself alive and anybody who tries to tell me God helped can kiss my clitoris because it was me; Me and My Mom and my family.
I’m not looking for sympathy or tears here because I’ve had a wonderful life thus far. I’ve traveled the country in 18-wheeler trucks and learned to bowl in Wyoming. The guy who taught me had 3 fingers and that’s all he could do anymore. I’ve seen more stars in the sky than I could even imagine because I was so far out in the middle of nowhere. I taught myself a piece of My Heart Will Go On while in Florida on the edge of a hurricane. I’ve seen Hamilton! I get to be a teacher and be in love with my Best Friend. I get to have a wonderful family who will always love me. I get to live in the most beautiful state in the USA. I’ve traveled in tug boat and have flown in so many airplanes that I can feel us starting our decent before the pilot even announces it.
Yeah, I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve done a lot already and I’m only 24! I can’t wait to see where I take myself next in life.
Hae a great rest of your Sunday, my Sweet Satanists!
One thing that I’ve noticed is that there are a lot of, well, similarities between people of faith. We all know that stereotypical Christian family that has 2.5 kids and a dog. Yes, the people you are picturing are blond.
People tend to think that applies to Satanists as well and in some ways they’re right. We hold the same core values of Satanism since we are, well, Satanists, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end. We are all from different walks of life. There are Republican Satanists and Democratic Satanists and Satanists in between and beyond.
One of the ways I like to showcase this is through the Infernal Interviews and I did cover this topic with our latest victim in…
I sent some questions to Citizen of the Infernal Empire Chris!
1) What is your relationship to the Church of Satan?
I am a Registered, card-carrying member of the organization. I am not an Active Member, thus I’m considered a Citizen of the Infernal Empire. This is not to say that the organization is not aware of my activities or progress as I try to make sure that I send them an email about once a year to let them know what important things are going on in my life.
I was honored to be invited to the home of our High Priest and High Priestess the day after the 50th Anniversary celebration. Two of the videos I shot during the Devils Reign II art show (curated by Magus Gilmore) have been featured on the Church of Satan’s YouTube channel, and I was surprised to wake up one afternoon and see one of my photographs of Magus Gilmore from that same event was used for his birthday announcement in 2017. So, I guess I’m doing okay by their standards.
2) When did you finally decide to apply?
After discovering what Satanism was through reading Anton LaVey’s Satanic Bible in 1990, I waited until after I had finished my enlistment with the United States Navy in 1993 to start studying the religion deeply. It was in 1994 that I re-read the Satanic Bible, and the rest of Magus LaVey’s work that I could find. Now, you have to remember, back then the Internet was not as ubiquitous as it is today. If you wanted this information, you had to go out in the world and look for it, and esoterica wasn’t particularly easy to find. One day while at Tower Records in Tustin, California, I just happened to discover a copy of “The Black Flame” magazine, which was the International Forum for the Church of Satan. The magazine was produced and printed by Hell’s Kitchen Productions, run by (then) Magister Peter H. Gilmore and Magistra Peggy Nadramia. In the magazine was a half page advertisement for the Church of Satan complete with the address for information. Send off your S.A.S.E. (self-addressed, stamped envelope, for our younger readers), and they would mail you registration materials.
The one hundred dollar membership fee back then was a bit steep for me as this was during a time when I wasn’t in the best financial situation. I still wanted to join, so I kept the membership packet and saved up the fee over time. By the time I was ready to apply, I had studied the organization and knew what their mission was. What really appealed to me was I saw the mission had not changed after Anton LaVey died. I wanted to show my support for the organization, so I got the rest of the money together and mailed in my application in 1998.
3) What would you like Non-Satanists to know about Satanists?
This religion does not foster homogeneity. Don’t expect all Satanists to think the same way. Satanism is not a cause. The cause in Satanism is the individual person, and what works for one may not work for another. About the only thing all Satanists WILL have in common is the shared religious philosophy codified by Anton Szandor LaVey, and that’s it. Even then, each Satanist will apply the religion and their personal perception of it differently to their own lives.
4) Would you rather be a horse or a cat? The Wizard gives you 3 seconds to decide.
That’s easy: a cat. Yes, it’s a shorter life span, but nobody is expecting me to do any hard work or carry them on my back, and I get to sleep all day.
5) Describe your ideal home.
I’m kind of partial to Bag End, the underground home of Bilbo Baggins in Tolkien’s work. Being under ground, it would help keep the energy bills down during the summer. As long as my wife and cats are there, I’m good.
6) How do you celebrate your birthday?
That depends on my mood, so it varies. If there’s a band in town I’m fond of, I may go to the show. I may see a movie. I’m fortunate to live within ten miles of that home of Total Environments, Disneyland. My wife and I are Annual Passholders, so that is always an option.
7) Describe a powerful Lesser Magic moment.
A Lesser Magic moment I experienced, or one I performed? If it’s one that I experienced, then it would be my wife’s wedding proposal to me. She’s quite the Satanic Witch. As for one I performed, I could say the groundwork I laid for my promotion to Public Safety Dispatch Supervisor with the law enforcement agency I work for, but those details are confidential. (Wink)
8) How do you describe Ritual Magic, or Greater Magic, when people are genuinely curious?
I tell them it’s a fun way of clearing my own brain so I can get on with my life and do what I need or want to do. I also add that I feel that doing so too often robs the ritual of its special properties, so I typically reserve Greater Magic exclusively for those things I can’t get over by any other means. For the rest of the day-to-day, I have other ritualistic activities, such as Itosu-ryu Karate, and weight training.
9) Where do you think my left sock keeps going?
It’s goes to the pile that also includes my missing metric adjustable wrenches and football bats.
10) Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
If my sanity and health hold up, and with a bit of studying, I hope to promote to the second rank of Supervisor at work. With some more work, I should also be at the level of Shodan (third degree black belt) in my Karate school and maybe teaching my own students.
Have a great rest of your weekend, guys! I’m going to be taking it easy and looking for my left socks.
I will be hanging out on the internet with Reverend Campbell on June 8th, so watch out for that!
Seriously. This was before I knew that the Church of Satan was a thing, though, even if I was already a Satanist. This is because Satanists are born and not made, which means that if I’m a Satanist NOW, I was a Satanist THEN because I have always lived my life Satanically. It’s a part of me, much like the color of my eyes.
So with that in mind, let me tell you about the time I dated a Hard Core Christian for two years. Let’s call him Tim because that’s his name. Tim belonged to a denomination of faith called The Christian Reformed Church. What is that? Here’s a quote that sorta explains it:
“Reformed Christians are a small part of a much larger body of believers who love and serve Jesus Christ. We’re part of a family that includes Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Anglican, Evangelical, and a host of other churches that confess and practice the Christian faith.
Reformed teachings are shared by denominations other than the Christian Reformed Church. What’s different is the emphasis that we might place on them. Cornelius Plantinga writes:
Our accents lie more on the sovereignty of God, on the authority of Scripture, on the need for disciplined holiness in personal Christian life, and finally, on Christianity as a religion of the Kingdom. —A Sure Thing: What We Believe and Why (Grand Rapids: CRC Publications, 2001), p. 281
For example, the Reformed faith teaches the Lordship of Jesus Christ over all creation. We can’t imagine a Christian church that doesn’t hold to that teaching. But Reformed believers place a lot more emphasis on this teaching than many other Christians do. As a result, Reformed believers have invested a lot of their energy and resources in Christian education (Christian day schools, colleges, and seminaries), Christ-centered political/social action, and parachurch ministries to those in need.” (Taken from CRCNA.org)
There were more than a few reasons why this was never going to work out, but we’re focusing on the religious reasons today. First off, though he didn’t say it, I was expected to serve him. That was never going to happen. Once, we went to a service (Yes, I went, too) where he told me not to stand until he stood; not to sit until he sat; not to speak until he spoke; and so on. I broke all of those rules.
I refuse to be bossed around. I am in charge of myself and nobody else is. This is why I dye my hair fun colors and wear clothes that make it hard for people to fit me into a category. Depending on the day I am either a punk, a goth, a prep, grungy, lazy, or whatever strikes my fancy at the time I’m picking out my clothes. This makes it hard for me to be in a relationship with somebody who wants me to fit a mold.
So, I mentioned earlier that I went to church with him and I did this because I wanted to support him. I hated it, but I was trying to show that his interests were important to me. That stopped pretty quick, which made him nervous because he wanted to get married and have kids who went to church and all that jazz.
OH HELL NO! First of all, I was 19-21 when we were dating so I was not about to have kids. I was busy going to college and getting on with my life. Second, I am totally uncomfortable with telling kids what to think. When my mom was raising me, I was lucky because she would let me explore religion on my own and never pointed me in one direction or another. This is because my Mom is agnostic and wanted me to discover the world myself.
In the end, I think we could both feel that it was coming. I was his first girlfriend, even though he was 24 when we started dating, and I was the one to take his virginity. Because of these things, he thought I had sent him to hell. His solution? He spoke with the elders at his church and they told him to leave me.
So, that’s what he did. He took me a mile away from my car, out in the middle of nowhere, and left me. I cried, yes, but it didn’t take me long to get over it. I got pissed and walked the mile back to my car with him driving a few feet behind me because I refused to get into his truck.
I get home and go to tell my mom what had happened, but she already knew. Apparently, he decided to take an hour to break up with my parents before breaking up with me. It was strange.
All in all, I’m glad we dated. Seriously, I am, because I know all the arguments Christian’s have! I know the arguments and I know their lies. I’ve been on the other side of the lines and I took notes. Also he introduced me to my DnD friends and I love them so much.
So, in the end, Thanks, Tim, for teaching me all about what I never want to be.
Live your life, loves, and never let anybody change you.
I know my blog is called I’m a Satanist and…, but if you would have done your research, you’d know that true Satanists just use Satan as an external, fictional representation of my best self free from Abrahamic laws. I don’t actually believe that there is a real devil as described by various religions. I say this because I am also referencing the Satan Characters from all of the other religions.
There are people out there, however, who do believe in the Christian Satan and worship him as though he were real. We call these people Devil Worshippers and they make life hard for real Satanists who subscribe to the teachings of LaVey.
We who stand with The Church of Satan find ourselves constantly battling these people because they make us look really fucking bad. Just like with people who believe in God, Allah, Odin, or whatever, I say this:
Seek help for your delusions and leave us alone.
Seriously. You Devil Worshippers are make Satanists look so bad. We are constantly having to battle these perceptions that we are animal-killing, blood-drinking crazies who dance in circles around fire in the forest during the night in order to bring forth the devil for our Black Magic. I mean, the last part is pretty close but that’s just me. I like fires and dancing…
So, I fucking interviewed one.
EXTRA EXTRA WARNING: These views are NOT of the Church of Satan or Satanists. I interviewed a DEVIL WORSHIPPER!! Very different.
1- How did you first discover Satan?
I have discovered Satan in church, believe it or not.
I have always been the one to analyze things and really dissect things. Reading this evil ‘bible’ for what it is, I began to question things.. How a ‘god’ could just demand blood sacrifice and slavish worship upon everyone. But that’s something Churches don’t want you to know. Christian churches don’t want you to read the Bible for yourself, they only tell you which parts to read. They mainly want to induce you into a hypnosis state during the program to access your subconscious and further brainwash through fear. This is how it works, they essentially bore you(into fear) to get you to believe the biggest lie ever fabricated, apart from this Holocaust lie.
2- What is your relationship with religion?
Well, religion in itself actually means “to bind” in Latin. Liagre to bind, ‘re’ meaning again. I will not oblige myself to follow anyone’s religion(bindings)
“We used to bow before Kings and Emperors, now we bow only to the truth, and follow only love.” Khalil Gibran. Satya Satnam Satan literally translates into ‘truth’ in Sanskrit, ask any Hindu.
3- If the Hulk and the Predator were in battle, who would you bet on?
4- If you die and find out that we are TOTALLY wrong, what would you say to the real maker of the Universe?
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”-Thomas Jefferson
5- Garlic bread… yes or no?
Yes, however I do not eat dead animal remains. That’s disgusting and cruel. Animals are our friends. (The Author did not ask this…)
6- Do you perform any types of rituals? If so, are you willing to describe them for me?
I perform invocation and evocation rituals, mantras, and reverse Torah rituals, basically reversing the spell They have inflicted on the World through blood sacrifice and power. Rituals are essentially putting yourself into a trance like state and communicating with our gods, ‘demons’ into your Astral altar. Remember Lavey himself stated demons are real entities.
7- If you had a familiar, what would it be and why?
I would like to make my cat my familiar, but he is old.
8- You hear the World has begun a nuclear war. What is the first thing you do?
Om Namah Shivaya (That sounds delicious)
9- If the Christian God is real, what would you tell him?
If you research Ancient Sumeria, Jehova(Jewish God) is Enlil, Enki’s half-brother. ENLIL is the one who drowns humanity because they were too “noisy”. SATAN/Enki prevents that by calling on one of his humans(that Enki created. Enki is our creator God. This is proven) to survive(‘Noah’s ark’) and repopulate along with were animals and other humans.
10- Define Magic.
Magic is in anything and everything. Magic is all around us. Our words are magic. Our thoughts are magic. People don’t understand how powerful words are.
Because magic has survived and is slowly overpowering religion is because magic is stronger. Religion is an offshoot of magic. Religion does not have roots of its own, lacking strength. Magic is real, so it commands belief.
REMINDER: These are not the views of the Church of Satan.
Also, I am not going to say who I interviewed, even if you ask nicely. I’m just trying to learn and pass on what I find out to you, my Darling Devils. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE ARE THE VIEWS OF A DEVIL WORSHIPPER AND NOT A SATANIST. Also these answers are fucking nuts, so.
I hope you all have a great day, Friends of the Infernal Flame!
Oh, yes, my Satanic Sweethearts, it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees… the horizontal tango… the, um… sex. Yeah, I’m here today to talk to you about the sex. It’s a personal topic for some and just a water-cooler discussion for others. Everybody’s relationship to sex is different and will change depending on upbringing, religious beliefs, socio-economic status, and more.
I’m here today to talk to you about the Satanic view of sex. I will pos be including an interview I conducted with a woman Heidee Nytes who works in the adult film industry for an inside look into the mind of somebody who has made a lucrative perfusion of acts that make the meek blush. But first, MY Satanic perspective on sex.
Again I would like to reiterate that while I am a MEMBER of the Church of Satan, I am not an Active Member (Yet) and do not act as a spokesperson for the Church of Satan and do not speak for it or other members!
Okay, here it goes: I don’t give a fuck what you do in the bedroom. I don’t. Honestly, I’m not sure why anybody cares about what anybody else does in their lair during intimate moments. Well, as long as everybody is of age, has the ability to consent, and has already consented. Now, the wording here is designed to be careful.
First off, everybody has to be of age. To me, that means 18. I know the “age of consent” is different from state to state, but come on, have you met teenagers? I have and I don’t see why anybody would want to hang out with any of them for an extended period of time, let alone engage in a sexual relationship. Next, everybody must have the ability to consent. That means animals can’t consent and babies can’t consent and drunk/drugged people can’t consent and people with disabilities can’t consent. If somebody can’t consent, you can’t get on with the nasty. Lastly, everybody has to consent. Seriously this is so important. YOU don’t want to be accused of rape, do you? Then who cares if “the mood” is ruined because you have to look a person in the eyes and make sure they want you like you want them. It’s just safe that way.
After all that, I don’t care who or what you do or how often or with what or how many. I don’t. You know why? Because it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t wake up in a cold sweat each night every time a man goes to bed with another man or a group decides to have a threesome. I just don’t care. I don’t care if you like to lick feet or having cherries in a woman’s nose turns you on.
BUT, I do want you to be able to get your rocks off. Everybody has the right to enjoy what they enjoy, no matter how off-broadway those desires may be. A person who has a hand in making sure that people get what they want is Heidee Nytes. Heidee works with David Harris, a Magister of the Church of Satan and producer of custom adult films, which I’ve spoken about in detail in a pervious blog post.
I wanted to ask her a few questions so that we might get some insight into a profession most of us are willing to watch, enjoy, and then demonize because Christian values have made us thing that we should be ashamed of the pleasures of the flesh.
So, without further ado, our wonderful Heidee Nytes!
1- What is your official job title?
I have so many “jobs!” As Heather Height I am a stand up comedian a freelance journalist and writer, a film producer, a wife and a mom.
As Heidee Nytes I’m a fetish model and a Pro Domme.
I guess my most “official” job title is VP of Dave’s Custom Media: Davescustommedia.com
2- What is your relationship to Satanism?
I am an active member in The Church of Satan where I have earned my other most official title of Witch Heather Height.
3- Do you have any misconceptions about the field you work in that you would like to clear up?
As far as stand-up:
1. There is not one element of comedy that some drunk know-it-all audience member can elucidate for any comic before, during or after the show.
2. No, drunk girl in the front row, you are not “helping.”
3. It is not the comedians job to care about your feelings, that’s why it’s not called a stand-up compassion show.
In regards to fetish modeling and being a Domme:
1. I don’t do blow jobs, I make subs blow other people.
2. Yes, I love what I do, but I also like to get paid for doing it. This is my work, don’t try to get me to Domme you for free. (This happens more than you would think.) Some guy wants me to write him an email explaining what I would do to him, that takes time. He’s basically asking me to write a short erotica for him for free. To quote Goodfellas, “Fuck you, pay me!”
4- If you had a pet panda what would you name it?
Lao Tzu Flufferbottoms
5- What’s your favorite drink to have when you go out with friends?
I change it up from time to time, usually between gin and tonic, Bloody Mary’s or margaritas.
6- Have you ever had to deal with a stalker-like situation?
I may have had stalkers, but I either befriended them or blocked them. So it hasn’t been a problem as of yet.
7- What are you most proud of?
Jeepers, I have a lot of things that I’m proud of pretty equally, assuming you’re referring to accomplishments. I have set many goals in my life and accomplished them. (I try to keep that in mind when I’m feeling shitty about the ones I don’t accomplish.) Before I became a writer and comedian I ran the first corporate massage business in NE Pennsylvania. I will always be proud of that. Not long after becoming a writer I had several articles published in Forum Magazine without ever going to school for Journalism. The very first fetish film I did I ended up staring in and it was nominated for an XBiz award, that was pretty cool. I think the most recent thing was two things that are closely associated in my mind; I did a spread for Old Nick Magazine at the age of 45 and served as a nude altar for the 50 year celebration of the founding of The Church of Satan at 46. I’m damn proud if that!
8- Tell me about your most recent project.
My most recent completed project is our first full length adult film, Nadia and the Therapist.
It’s really been like my baby. I wrote the treatment and the screenplay. I did the set design and helped with the casting, I also costarred as the therapist. We shot the whole thing in one grueling 12 hour day! Our star, Nadia White, wasn’t feeling well all day, she did an amazing job! My husband, Magister David Harris, shot and directed with the help of our friend Wilfredo who runs Evangelinevonwinter.com with his wife. David did all the editing and got it up on our clips4sale store, (available for purchase here:
9- If you could only read one thing forever what would it be?
The internet. (The author should have seen that coming)
Seriously, though, if I had to pick one book? Stranger Than Fiction by Chuck Palahniuk.
10- If you only had three wishes what would they be?
Well, in all honesty, I would go the pragmatic route and wish for infinite wishes. But in the interest of the insight that these questions are supposed to highlight:
1 That my husband and I were immortal so we could be in love forever.
2 That I could take back all the dumb parenting mistakes I made.
3 That our little Mom & Pop fetish film company grows into the porn empire that we dreamed it would one day be.
Unholy cow, guys, that was so much fun! I count myself as #blessed (ha) that members of The Church of Satan have been willing to answer my silly questions, as well as my more important questions. I hope you all really enjoyed reading these and I hope more Church of Satan members step up to the batter’s box.
Keep on enjoying life, my Friends of the Infernal Flame!