Thank you, WhatisSatanism.com!
So, you know that spot in the corner of the board that says what the date is and what is happening in the day? Well, mine has a little mascot.
His name is Stan and he kind of looks like this. Stan is a very rich character and the students have made up an entire lore for Stan.
Stan started with a typo. The kids and I were putting on a haunted house on Halloween and were brainstorming ideas for what we wanted in the various rooms. We were thinking of various scary things and had made a list consisting of things such as Zombies, Cannibals, Clowns, Chainsaw Clowns, Crazy Laughing People, and Dead Children.
Then one of my youngest students in Drama Club chimed in with “Satan Room”.
I would like to take a moment to remind readers that my students don’t know about my affiliations. I don’t wear my necklace around them; I don’t bring literature to school; I don’t talk to them about it. The same goes with my peers and most of my family. It’s a small town and I love my job. As long as I do these things I feel secure.
So he says Satan Room, and he meant like a bunch of people in black robes in a dark room with a pentagram sacrificing something unseen while people walk through and we follow them. I put myself in this room, after it got voted in, to make sure nobody came in and just freaked the hell out. (One lady did start praying in Spanish, though).
So, as I was writing down “Satan Room” I was thinking about something else and just wrote “Stan Room”. This is when Stan was born. After some banter, they decided that “Stan” was the projector that we were always fighting with because he was sometimes in charge of if we could do a lesson or not. Stan was a powerful force. Not long after, I got the little snake and put him on the board so that it read “Stan says it’s (Date) and today we are doing (Whatever)”.
Well, again, I didn’t pick the name. I had the middle school kids vote on what we should call it and, again after some banter, they decided on Stan. It was a close vote, but one student won over the majority of the class by saying “the snake was Stan but in real life”.
Seriously these kids have really great story-telling abilities. I’m sure there are stories of Stan that have yet to be written or told to me. So sometimes, when the projector is being really annoying, the kids will look towards the damn thing and start saying things like “Come on, Stan!”; “Please, Stan, don’t!”; “Hail Stan”. Some kids want it to work and others don’t. Stan doesn’t care and does what it pleases. Stupid thing.
So, that’s Stan. Please send in your best Stan fan art.
Not because of my being a Satanist. Actually, the central issue in the argument has nothing to do with it, but how I am reacting has EVERYTHING to do with Satanism.
I would like to draw your attention to rule 4: “If a guys in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy”. This has been popping up a lot in mind because of some drama going on at work with a coworker. Let’s call him Joe.
Joe works as the shop teacher there so is in charge of the Set Design for the school plays. As the Drama Teacher, I am in charge of literally the rest. I am having the students act as the Director so that they get as much experience as they can in each aspect of the theatre.
So, as we get closer to Open, Joe has been coming to rehearsal. I was fine with this until he started telling me what to do. Then, as I was working, he told me to stop and come do what he wanted me to do. After I nicely told him that I was going to continue what I was doing, he put my stuff away so that I had no other choice.
After we finished rehearsal, Joe then decided it was okay to tell the students that they weren’t working hard enough. This shocked me enough but then he continued. Joe then told them (The HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS) that they were going to put on “an amateur show” which was “going to be a disaster”.
Wow. You don’t even say that shit to professional actors, let alone students. This happened Friday. I decided to give him a day or two to apologize to the students since we work in the same school district. He didn’t.
Today was the last straw. Today, Sunday, he decided to yell at the students to tell them to be quiet. This doesn’t work in theatre because the actors think you’re talking to them and they’ll lower their voices. I was hammering on the set, too, because stuff needed to be finished so I was doing it. This is funny because HE is the set designer and yet I was the one doing what needed to be done. I looked at the kids and nicely said “quiet back stage, please” which is the proper why to address the situation. Then I started working again.
Joe the decided to throw a tantrum. He stood up, shoved his crap into his bag, and left, slamming the door on his way out. The room went silent. So, I decided to send the following email:
Now, I would like to bring your attention back to the Fourth Satanic Rule of the Earth. I know some of you are thinking that my lair is my house, but that’s not how I see it. Yes, he and I share a school district, but he is the shop teacher. We are in the Theatre. As the Drama teacher, I spend a lot of time in that theatre with those kids and we have ways of doing things that we are used to. More than that, those who are familiar with Theatre will understand that the Set Designer is near the end of the list of people who should be telling actors what to do, let alone stepping on toes.
I would also like to point out that I was very kind as I wrote this, but I did not show any mercy. I am not going to back down from this and if he does try to enter my lair again, I will get more stern. I hate it when people tell me what to do and I hate it when people disrespect those important to me. I hate it.
Joe is about to learn what it means to mess with a Satanist.
I hope you all enjoyed this and I would love to hear how you would have handled the situation. Especially you, Reverend Campbell.
(PS- My car is an extension of my lair. Don’t fuck with shit).
I mean, I’m 24 years old currently, which is still very young, but most people wouldn’t call me a baby anymore. At least outside of the bedroom, that is. But, as a Satanist, I’m still little! Actually I’m pretty confident in saying I’m probably still in First Phase, which means I’m a little dumb still. (Ha). I only received my Membership card back in February of THIS YEAR!That is why I always make sure to emphasize that I don’t speak for the Church of Satan or any of its members.
What I do do (ha) is interviews. I like to get as many perspectives on a position so that mine might become more informed. Always keep learning, children. A few months ago, if somebody asked me to define Satan, I would say “An external, fictional representation of one’s best self”. That has changed a bit. Now I say, “An external, fictional representation of one’s best self, free from Abrahamic laws”. This little additions means so much, at least to me.
All of these things said, I’m going to throw another interview at you! This one is from a lovely Satanist who, like me, is also young. Actually, he’s 20! He has been in the Church of Satan FAR longer than me, though, and is an Active Member. You can check out more from our wonderful friend of the left-hand path on his blog Just A Young Satanist!
Now, sit back, pour yourself a glass of whiskey, and enjoy the latest entry in…
The Infernal Interviews
I know it may seem like it would be really easy for my family to find out I’m a Satanist, they apparently don’t care enough or don’t google me very often. That’s just fine with me. There are some people in my family who would never be able to wrap their heads around being a Satanist and not believing in Satan.
I also try to keep it on the down-low in professional settings. I work with children, so it’s not my job to try to convince them to be Satanists. I’m sure a few of them are, but not all of them. If they ask me questions about any religion, I’ll answer them, but that’s just because I feel they have a right to information. I’ll also point them to just google stuff, but make sure the information is accurate.
Now, since I’ve been interviewing a lot of out and proud Satanists, I’m going to bring on a person who calls himself a “Closeted Satanist’.
Buckle up for the latest installment of:
THE INFERNAL INTERVIEWS
1) What made you decide to join the Church of Satan?
Joining The Church of Satan was my way of making a pact with The Devil, so to speak. It was my way of saying to myself, “You are one serious mofo” concerning my commitment to the religion/philosophy that has proven to be a most useful guide through life.
2) What is your response when people ask you if you’re religious?
So this interview is really exciting for me because I really love the Raising Hell Podcast. I’ve been listening to Milton and his guests for a little over a year now and it has helped me so much. This Podcast is amazing because it will talk about anything from Magic to Sex to Parenting to Disabilities and beyond.
One of my favorite people Milton brings on is Witch Troj. She is wonderful to listen to and she always has a way to articulate her opinions in ways that allow the listeners to absorb the information while drawing their own conclusions. He also has wonderful segments such as The Grownup Grotto, What Would Josephine Do, What the Wild Things Think, and more. I find each of these segments offers different information that pertains to both Satanism and Parenting.
To be clear, I am not a parent, I just want to be one day and I figure it’s probably best to start learning now so that I can be the very best like no one ever was.
And on that note, allow me to give the floor to my future friend (Oh yeah) Warlock Milton Cruver!
Before I sent in my Church of Satan Membership application, along with my Active Membership Application, I started learning. I learned about Satanism though The Satanic Bible and various texts you can find on the Church of Satan’s website. I explored the reading and the interviews and the movies. I listened to the music and, most influential for me, podcasts. Today I will be posting the first of two interviews with the hosts of my two absolute favorite Podcasts.
This first one is with the host of Confessions of a Wicked Witch on Radio Free Satan. This is where I learned about Lesser Magic, Greater Magic, Rituals, Holidays and so much more. I love listening to the Podcast and look forward to each new post. I find Magistra Ygraine’s voice really soothing, too, so I like to listen to it when I’m trying to relax.
Sit back, pour yourself a glass of wine, and enjoy.
1) Tell me about your Podcast.
Confessions of a Wicked Witch has been on Radio Free Satan for years but we are changing the format. I’d like to surprise folks but I will say that it is high time I take these Confessions to an appropriate authority figure. After all, what good is a confession without a Priest to hear it?