I’m Celebrating!

There are a lot of Christian holidays, such as Christmas, Easter, and Good Friday, as well as holidays that seem to be smeared with God’s presence even if it shouldn’t be such as Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July. Now, I still enjoy most of these holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not praising the lord and begging forgiveness, but I will go to evening service at a Christian church on Christmas Eve. Why? I like it when they sing Silent Night with only candles to light the church. It’s really pretty, sue me.

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This… this is a candle

But, there are Satanic Holidays. As I stated in a previous post, one’s own birthday is the highest of the Unholy Holidays because Satanism is a Life-Celebrating religion. Basically, Death is the Great Abstinence so we must make the most out of life, which makes the day in which you entered life YOUR most important day. This is just a really long way of saying ‘The Party Don’t Start ‘Til I Walk In”.

Another Unholy Holiday that seems pretty obvious is Halloween! Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course Satanists are going to love Halloween because it’s so deliciously dark! This is also a date in which, according to The Satanic Bible, all manner of spirits, devils, witches and spirits are on the loose! Well, at least to the older folks in Scotland during the time of the Druids. Those crazy kids, on the other hand, used the night to perform fertility rituals and others that might help sway a certain partner to them, sexually speaking.

The changing of the seasons, marked by the solstices and equinoxes, are also important to Satanism as they represent change and self-recreation.

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Spring vs Winter in WA

BUT! The Satanic Holiday in which I am celebrating today is Walpurgisnacht! Yes, it is almost Walpurgisnacht, which means we are half-way to Halloween! Yay! (I think I’m going as the Satanic Priestess version of Mother Theresa).

Walpurgisnacht takes place each year, starting on the evening of April 30th and ending in the evening of May 1st. It is celebrated in the name of Saint Walpurgis, or Walpurga, and is basically a second Halloween. This celebration marked the change from Winter to Summer and was seen as a day in which the veil between the living and the dead was again thin, as it is on Halloween.

Sadly, I have to work on Walpurgisnacht. Technically I could take the day off, as well as Halloween and my Birthday, but I’m not going to. I need the money and I would rather cash my sick days in for a boost to my paycheck or, just maybe, use them if I got sick. Besides, I like my job.

So, instead, I’m celebrating today! Now, this doesn’t mean to you what it means to me. For one person, this may mean inviting a bunch of people over and sharing the day together playing games and eating good food. Hey, sometimes I’m down for that, too. But, for my, celebrating this Satanic Holiday (at least this year) means not leaving the house, hanging with my cats, and staying in my PJs all day. That’s just how I roll.

So, that being said, I hope you all have a wonderful Unholy Holiday and Celebrate in your own way, my Demonic Darlings.

HS!

From Hell,

LH

I Love Easter

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My Easter Best

Hey guys, it’s been a while and I’m sorry for the silence. I was really busy with school stuff and FINALLY made it to Spring Break, so I was relaxing. That being said, I did have to go to Easter.

Here’s the thing to know about my family 25% of them are various flavors of Christian; 25% are outright atheist or agnostic; the rest are, as I call them, Fake Christian. We all know and roll our eyes at the Fake Christians when they spend their normal Sundays watching football, nursing hangovers, sleeping in, or letting themselves relax in various ways, never once stepping into a church unless it’s Christmas, Easter or the like. Once and while, some of them might go to church if they’re asked to go by a Real Christian, but they probably wouldn’t go otherwise.

My Dad is a Fake Christian. I spoke about him briefly in my post about gun control. I think my Dad has gone to church 15 times since he moved away from his parents house, whenever that was, though when he first moved to Washington State to be with me, he was very worried about making sure there was a church nearby. Since he’s moved here, he hasn’t gone to church except for, maybe, a wedding… it may have been a funeral, I can’t tell them apart. Same thing with my Grandma, who is an alcoholic. I have a fun family.

Now, I don’t give a shit about this, but it comes up a lot during Christmas and Easter and, if you recall, Easter just passed on by. As a Satanist, I do my best to make the best out of this stupid, confusing holiday. Basically, I love cheap chocolate covered marshmallows for a nasty amount. How cheap? 12 chocolate covered marshmallows for $1.08 after tax. I have three boxes in my freezer right now. Trust me, the cheap ones are the best. Well, these treats are pretty seasonal to Easter so I make sure to tell the Easter Bunny (AKA Mom) that I ONLY want chocolate covered marshmallows. She always delivers.

I also really enjoy hiding eggs from children and watching them find them because they’re struggling and I laugh. Since Easter fell on April 1st this year, my mom filled the eggs with either chocolate, hardboiled eggs, or raw broccoli. We also told the kids that we had hidden an egg with a $20 inside, but that was a lie. It was the best.

So, yes, I love Easter. But, at the same time, I hate Easter. I fucking hate it. So, I do try to protest it in my own little way, as you can tell by the outfit I wore to Easter. I also wore a pentagram necklace, because I do every day.

So, I hate Easter because of the previously mentioned Fake Christians because they make us pray. One time, I was dating a Hardcore Christian (Don’t ask), my Dad asked him to “say a few words” so he stood up, put his hand on my shoulder, and started praying. I was so mad I shook his arm off of me. Dad was upset about that later.

The reason I hate the Fake Christians and their forcing their Fake Christianity on us during Easter is that they don’t practice these beliefs the rest of the time, besides Christmas, and they can’t explain the bunny and eggs to me. Like, I don’t care, but when they get all high and mighty about the holiday they only care about because they want to get into an imaginary place after death and think that their god won’t notice that their fucking liars. ALSO WTF IS THE BUNNY AND THE EGGS? At least the religion you stole it from had them as the symbols of fertility, but unholy shit, none of it makes sense from the Christian standpoint. Well, other than making the pagans conform to Christian values.

But, in the end, I get chocolate covered marshmallows and that makes me happy.

Hail Chocolate Covered Marshmallows and Hail Satan, my Sweet Bunnies.

LH