And the fun part is that he actually took the time to answer them! Each of these interviews is designed to inform and entertain, which this one does for sure! The joke at the end made me laugh so hard that I scared my cats.
1) Tell me about a powerful Greater Magic moment.
The most powerful Greater Magic moment I’ve experienced was my first. It was a destruction ritual for a psychic vampire I was dealing with at work. The ritual itself was full of powerful anger and hatred, and afterwards I felt such a euphoric feeling. Within two weeks the person received several performance related write ups. They quit shortly thereafter.
2) Do the people close to you know you’re a member of the Church of Satan?
My wife knows and has read all the books in my collection as well as one of my brothers. The rest of my family would have to be blind not to know as I have the fact that I’m a member on all my social media pages. There are interviews I’ve done on Good Mourning America and Speak of the Devil that are easily found with a google search. I don’t go around telling people but will honestly answer if asked.
3) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?
I love to go out to a steak house that is close by, they have the best new York strip that they cook to a temperature called “blue”, then having either key lime pie or caramel brulee. After that it’s home for great sex and a great old movie for the night.
4) What would you do if you were turned into a horse for a day?
I would be the fastest horse on the track in my youth, and enjoy being a stud in my later years. Being from Kentucky originally I’ve seen that most horses live better than their owners, so what a life that would be.
5) How do you explain Satanism to Non-Satanists?
I explain Satanism as being a powerful philosophy for “I-theists” as Magus Gilmore has called us. The tools within Satanism allow a born Satanist to develop themselves into successful, fully responsible adults who shape the world the way we want it to be. Through everything from art, music, television, technology, etc. Satanists are living the fullest lives with the most impact.
6) What is your biggest pet peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is stupidity. I can deal with people who are ignorant but those who choose to be ignorant of a subject is, in my opinion, the worst kind of stupidity.
7) Are you currently working on any projects?
I am getting in to painting and I write poetry and songs. There are some videos from when I was a touring musician on YouTube for those who like “retro” music. I am working out a plan of putting together a book of stories from the road accompanied by some of my poetry.
8) What are a few things on your bucket list?
I want to sky dive on my 40thbirthday, take my oldest daughter (6) to Germany, and get together with Reverend Campbell and Warlock Jeff Bowling for a beer.
9) Would you rather give up toothpaste or toilet paper for a week?
Toothpaste. I think there are somethings you could eat or gum you could chew to fix the cleanliness of my mouth. Not much you could do comfortably for your ass.
10) Tell me your favorite joke.
My girlfriend’s dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was livid, she said “what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My cats have calmed down now and are trying to get me to love them now. Or feed them. It’s the same, really. I was going to say this was a fun interview for me, but that’s obvious. How about I just tell you when an interview irritates me, yeah? Cool.
So, I’ve been doing a lot of interviewing of other people on here, as well as essays from a Satanic perspective. So, I decided it was high time that I let myself step into my own spotlight and let you guys ask questions this time around. I will be using some of these questions in later interviews, too. So if you don’t see all of your questions here today, you may see them later.
Here is our latest installment in…
Today, the victim is Member Lauren H. That’s me.
1) What’s your favorite horror movie?
Oh, goodness, I am a huge horror movie fan! Since I was a little girl, I’ve been surrounded by horror movies. My Grandma and I would have weekly Crappy Movie Night where we would get a scary movie from the 1960’s and watch it with popcorn. Later on, Mom would host Scary Movie Night with all of our cousins. Now, I think I own more horror movies than any other genre.
This is a really hard question, so I’ll give you a few. 1) As Above, So Below is my movie that I will watch over and over. I wanted to buy it so badly that I wrote the local movie rental store a 5 paragraph essay as to why they should sell me one of their two copies. I own it; 2) The Night of the Living Dead was my first scary movie and I got to meet Barbra once so it will always have a special place in my heart; 3) The Grudge actually still scares the shit out of me.
2) What was your favorite subjects at school?
Jesus with these hard questions! I love learning so much that when people ask me what I would do if I won the lottery, I tell them that I would go to school forever. So, there are a lot of areas of schooling that I love and I had a really hard time deciding what to go to college for. In the end, I decided to go for what comes easiest to me.
I was a Creative Writing major at WWU and graduated with a BA in English. What’s funny is that I didn’t even discover theatre until community college, which is where I am making money, since I am a Drama Teacher and Lighting Designer.
I am also really in love with science and I was able to take an Astrobiology class in high school and it BLEW MY MIND! I love every aspect of science, even Math, in one way or another.
TL;DR: I love learning.
3) Are you introverted or extraverted?
Ya know, it really, really depends on a lot of factors. I love having time to myself where I can just listen to my music and clean or read or whatever strikes my fancy. At the same time, if I’m left alone for too long I get bored and make big forts in the middle of the living room.
If I’ve had a really long day, all I want to do id go home and see my cats. If I haven’t seen anybody in days, I start to whine at my friends to come visit me. I’m somewhere in between. I want to say there’s a word for that…
4) Have you ever spoken with Peter H. Gilmore and/or Peggy Nadramia?
HA! You’re so sweet. No, no I have not. I don’t think I’m even on their radar since I just became a member in February. One day, perhaps years in the future, I will have a big enough base for this blog and I will be able to send them some of my silly questions. Hell, maybe I’ll be able to run into them at a concert or on the street or some shit… that’d be cool.
5) What’s your favorite piece of clothing?
This actually took me a second to think about because I just love clothing. Not in the sense that I like being fashionable, but more I really love being covered and warm. I have this big-ass coat I call Big Coat that I use when I go outside, sometimes even at 60 degrees!
But, when I think about which piece of clothing I like the most, I would say my black and grey flannel. I like in the Pacific Northwest and the weather takes crazy turns from hot to cold to wind to rain to windy rain all in two hours. It’s a crazy place and the key to being comfortable is layers. That’s why we all dress the same. We know that jeans, a tank top, a tee, a flannel and a jacket works as a comfortable outfit in Washington.
I can tell you I do not like underwear. This isn’t even something that’s supposed to be sexy-like, I just REALLY hate them. I wear leggings with skirts and dresses so I don’t have to wear them. Fuck underwear.
6) Where would you want to travel to the most if money wasn’t an issue?
I would really love to go back to Edinburgh for The Fringe Fest. I was there when I was 20 to perform with Skagit Valley College. For those who don’t know, The Fringe is the largest performance festival in the world and it is so much fun! It’s tons of theatre and tons of theatre nerds taking over the bars and partying. I love it so much and I need to go back. Also the food is amazing.
My college was there to perform Elegies for Angels, Punks, and Raging Queens which is a monologue/song play that rhymes and is really, really good. It is the various stories of people who somehow got AIDS, died, and came back to tell their story. I played two people. The first was a woman who got AIDS from sharing needles and died. Her monologue included begging for money, so I would sit outside each performance with a change cup, start in the house, and yell my first line at the audience. They didn’t know I was part of the play so they just thought I was screaming about how much I love getting high.
The second was a preacher who came out to yell at everybody for being gay and stuff. It was weird because I was stepping into a character who was not only the opposite of me, but the only character with words who was “evil”.
Yeah, Scotland. I need to go back.
7) How did you become Satanist?
So, I know what you mean and I will answer that, but I do want to reiterate that Satanists are born, not made. So, I’ve always been a Satanist, I just needed to discover that.
Actually, I found The Church of Satan through music. I was hanging with my friend Colby and he locked me in a car to make me listen to a song. He was almost out and he looked back in and said “This is Ghost. They’re a Satanic band. AND THEY’RE FUNNY, TOO!” and then left.
That song was Square Hammer by Ghost BC.
After that, I just started poking around the Church of Satan’s website and listing to Podcasts like The Devil You Know and Raising Hell. They were my way of getting information before I had the means to get The Satanic Bible. Finally, I was able to get a few of the books written by LaVey and that was it. I knew.
8) Who inspires you the most (dead or alive)?
Oh, that’s easy. My Mom. I love my Mom so, so much because she made me into s strong, hard-working, caring person. She was trapped in an abusive relationship for years with the father of my little brother and sister, who I also love dearly, and she was the only person who was there for me when I was being abused by him, too. I’ll be doing a post about this in more detail later.
She’s my best friend and I would do anything for her.
9) What would be your ideal vacation?
You know if you ask me this during the winter the answer will be different. Right now, I would love to go to Europe somewhere to eat and hike. I love the history over there and the beautiful buildings. Maybe Norway since that’s where most of my DNA comes from, or Germany for the same reason.
During the winter, my answer would be Turks and Caicos with my Mom. It looks so beautiful and warm! I would love to read a book with my foot in the waves and a drink in my hand.
10) What do you think ghosts are? Or at least what so many people have seen and claim to be ghosts?
Okay so I do have a weird-ass hypothesis on what this could be but I don’t think there’s a way to test it. You know how scientists believe Gravity may be such a weak force because it’s spread thin over various alternate universes? That, but ghosts.
So, what I think is that there are an infinite amount of story lines that branch off with every choice we make. So if I make the choice to walk. across a street, in an infinite amount of universes I get hit by a car and in an infinite amount I don’t get hit. There are universes with near-misses and universes where I get hit and live and where I get hit and die. I think ghosts are just the other universes leaking over and showing us a weak image of what may be going on in a different reality we are close to.
That’s just what I think and I know it makes me sound really insane, but I explain it better in real life.
Well, there ya go! My very own interview on my very own blog. I will be putting this in the About The Author page, too, so you can find them there. Thank you so much to all the people who commented or emailed me in some questions, it was hard to pick just 10.
I am now, but I remember checking the mail each day, some times multiple times per day, to see if my Red Card had come. Naturally it came when I was gone. So I came home to a white, unassuming envelope sitting on the kitchen table with my name on it.
That was a really exciting day for me! I’m sure each of you can remember when you were, too, in Church of Satan limbo and the feelings that came along with that. And the feelings that followed knowing you had been accepted!
So, since I interviewed MANYmembers of the Church of Satan, as well as an actual Devil Worshipper, I thought I’d interview somebody who was pending approval. This person identifies as a Satanist but is waiting for conformation to come on their Membership status.
This is the next installment of:
The Infernal Interviews
1) How long have you been with the Church of Satan?
“With” The church of Satan? Membership pending I guess you could say, but a Satanist from my early grade school years. Even when in the Episcopalian Church.
2) What did you think when you first heard of the Church of Satan?
My first inclination as a young boy of 5 was, “where can I find this church? It sounds like a really big fun house with a lion, secret door ways and horror attractions! I must go there at once!” (of course speaking of LaVey’s “Black House” and not the Established Church of Satan.”)
3) What is your favorite play?
I have several. As far as musicals I recently became a huge fan of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” However I would have to say “The Tempest.” (Shakespeare)
4) What is your personal definition of Satan?
I have several: Every Satanist or “weekend warrior” thinks “The church of satan wants to hear “Adversary” because that’s what LaVey said. I’m not always one to jump to that explanation. Mine is more “Hero.” He’s the unspoken fictitious hero of the Bible that was given a terrible reputation. Jesus wondered into the wilderness like an idiot Satan tried to feed him, then offer him relief, apparently that was “wrong.” Not to mention Satan educated humanity, clothed us, fed us metaphorically, helped us become “aware” of the flesh and indulgence. So thank you Satan.
5) Do you have any animals?
Yes. I have two dogs and a corn snake.
6) Chocolate or Vanilla?
Both I’m not an Ice Cream Racist.
7) Do you have any projects you’re currently working on?
Yes, musically “Hades In Tow,” film wise I am attempting to make a series called “AntiChrist.”
8) Have you ever shaved your legs?
Yes, and waxed with Nair Cream. (Not to self: Do not use nair cream on pubic stubble, it will leave chemical burns in creases).
9) What would you like Non-Satanists to know about Satanists?
This is a loaded question. Non-Satanists please stop practicing contempt prior to investigation. (mind you some do not.) We are living in “Era Satanas.” Whether the non Satanist likes it or not, mainstream religion is being phased out and recognized as fraud and problematic.
10) How do you like The Satanic Bible?
It was like listening to the Beatles for the first time… Backwards. When I first read it, I was baffled, and had to re-read it. I thought to myself “how could every answer in my life be right here in one simple book.” Well, it was. So after re-reading the Satanic Bible ad nauseam, I learned that this path is for me, and with an open mind while still thinking for myself, freely, I continue to learn more and more every day. There was no turning back.
I hope you liked this interview and I will update you on the Membership Status of Lvcifer Invictvs Crow as soon as I know. For all the rest of you waiting, hang in there!
Have a great rest of your day, my Sweet Satanists!
Seriously. This was before I knew that the Church of Satan was a thing, though, even if I was already a Satanist. This is because Satanists are born and not made, which means that if I’m a Satanist NOW, I was a Satanist THEN because I have always lived my life Satanically. It’s a part of me, much like the color of my eyes.
So with that in mind, let me tell you about the time I dated a Hard Core Christian for two years. Let’s call him Tim because that’s his name. Tim belonged to a denomination of faith called The Christian Reformed Church. What is that? Here’s a quote that sorta explains it:
“Reformed Christians are a small part of a much larger body of believers who love and serve Jesus Christ. We’re part of a family that includes Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Anglican, Evangelical, and a host of other churches that confess and practice the Christian faith.
Reformed teachings are shared by denominations other than the Christian Reformed Church. What’s different is the emphasis that we might place on them. Cornelius Plantinga writes:
Our accents lie more on the sovereignty of God, on the authority of Scripture, on the need for disciplined holiness in personal Christian life, and finally, on Christianity as a religion of the Kingdom. —A Sure Thing: What We Believe and Why (Grand Rapids: CRC Publications, 2001), p. 281
For example, the Reformed faith teaches the Lordship of Jesus Christ over all creation. We can’t imagine a Christian church that doesn’t hold to that teaching. But Reformed believers place a lot more emphasis on this teaching than many other Christians do. As a result, Reformed believers have invested a lot of their energy and resources in Christian education (Christian day schools, colleges, and seminaries), Christ-centered political/social action, and parachurch ministries to those in need.” (Taken from CRCNA.org)
There were more than a few reasons why this was never going to work out, but we’re focusing on the religious reasons today. First off, though he didn’t say it, I was expected to serve him. That was never going to happen. Once, we went to a service (Yes, I went, too) where he told me not to stand until he stood; not to sit until he sat; not to speak until he spoke; and so on. I broke all of those rules.
I refuse to be bossed around. I am in charge of myself and nobody else is. This is why I dye my hair fun colors and wear clothes that make it hard for people to fit me into a category. Depending on the day I am either a punk, a goth, a prep, grungy, lazy, or whatever strikes my fancy at the time I’m picking out my clothes. This makes it hard for me to be in a relationship with somebody who wants me to fit a mold.
So, I mentioned earlier that I went to church with him and I did this because I wanted to support him. I hated it, but I was trying to show that his interests were important to me. That stopped pretty quick, which made him nervous because he wanted to get married and have kids who went to church and all that jazz.
OH HELL NO! First of all, I was 19-21 when we were dating so I was not about to have kids. I was busy going to college and getting on with my life. Second, I am totally uncomfortable with telling kids what to think. When my mom was raising me, I was lucky because she would let me explore religion on my own and never pointed me in one direction or another. This is because my Mom is agnostic and wanted me to discover the world myself.
In the end, I think we could both feel that it was coming. I was his first girlfriend, even though he was 24 when we started dating, and I was the one to take his virginity. Because of these things, he thought I had sent him to hell. His solution? He spoke with the elders at his church and they told him to leave me.
So, that’s what he did. He took me a mile away from my car, out in the middle of nowhere, and left me. I cried, yes, but it didn’t take me long to get over it. I got pissed and walked the mile back to my car with him driving a few feet behind me because I refused to get into his truck.
I get home and go to tell my mom what had happened, but she already knew. Apparently, he decided to take an hour to break up with my parents before breaking up with me. It was strange.
All in all, I’m glad we dated. Seriously, I am, because I know all the arguments Christian’s have! I know the arguments and I know their lies. I’ve been on the other side of the lines and I took notes. Also he introduced me to my DnD friends and I love them so much.
So, in the end, Thanks, Tim, for teaching me all about what I never want to be.
Live your life, loves, and never let anybody change you.
Okay, I straight up stole that title from Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You!), which is a really fun book and can be found here. I highly, highly recommend it if you haven’t read it yet.
But that’s not why we are here! Oh, no, I’m here because I feel the need to tell you about how Satanic you are. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you to join the Church of Satan or start calling yourself a Satanist because, odds are, you’re not. But damn, people these days are so Satanic that it makes me laugh when they shit on the Church of Satan.
First off, lets me real, you are all selfish. Yeah, it’s true. Don’t worry, I am, too. Obviously I want the best for me because I have to live my life, not you. Thus, if you really don’t matter to me, then I’ll probably help myself before I help you. It’s nothing personal, I just don’t know 99.9% of the people on Earth.
This is not to say I don’t like to be kind, it’s just for a selfish reasons that I help people. For example, If I have enough money during the holidays, I like to get a few chicken meals (including potatoes, bread, a veggie, and a drink) and give them to homeless people I see around town. I can’t do it very often, but I like doing it because it makes me feel good. Yeah, I am owning up to it. I do things people would consider “philanthropic” because I like the feeling of seeing people happy for something I did.
I also don’t NOT care about people on Earth I don’t know, I do, I just need to take care of me and the people around me before I help the rest of the universe. And my selfishness extends to those close to me. I’d be disappointed if a coworker gets a promotion over my Mother or if my Little Sister got her heart-broken. My friends live within my circle of selfishness, as does my partner. Sound familiar?
Now, I’ll give you a moment to read all the way through the above picture. Okay, now do it again. Most of them seem like pretty common sense and that’s because they have been carefully constructed to mathematically– No I’m shitting with you, they are just basic common sense. So let’s look at these one by one.
1- This one may be the one I wish most Non-Satanists would learn because it really annoys me when people try to fix things for me when all I need for them to do is listen. Does that make sense? If a friend/coworker/family member/ whatever and I are talking and they ask about a problem I may be having. If I decide to confide it them, I don’t need them to fix whatever is happening, but just listen. If I want to know how you’d fix it, I’ll ask.
2- This is just an extension of the first. Don’t just start telling me about your Sister’s affair out of nowhere, Brenda, all you did was hand me a divider at the Fred Meyer checkout line.
3- I love the word “Lair” in this because it sounds so dark, but it really just means somebody’s space. I say SPACE and not HOUSE because I consider several spaces an extension of my lair. These spaces include my office, my classroom, my personal space, and my car. Don’t touch the stereo.
4- I love the wording in this one, too, because it makes it seem as though I’m going to be throwing somebody in my oven for sneezing on my face. No, but if you sneeze on my face a few times I might as you to leave. If you don’t, then you might be thrown into the oven… Kidding. (Or am I?)
5- THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! Nothing sexual unless you’ve been given consent. I like “Mating Signal” because when I am dating somebody, we can pretty much give consent by using body language and I always make sure whomever I am with knows that they can stop or say no anytime they way. Never force things on people.
6- Don’t steal… Just don’t steal…
7- This one may be the only one that Non-Satanists won’t nod their head at. The way I explain this is as follows: We use the placeholder word “Magic” to describe something we don’t yet have a name for in science. That being said, if you perform a ritual and it goes the way you want, tip your hat to the Devil.
I say magic may also be real, but very small, like being able to make the best cup of coffee in the office even though the water comes from the same place and the beans are the same. (If you’re a high-ranking CoS Member and I am WAAAY off, please tell me).
8- Oh I love this one so much. Have an awful friend who is sucking the life out of you but you keep going back for some reason, you don’t get to complain. Get rid of that Psychic Vampire and move on. Didn’t bother to vote? Then shut up. Start doing something about it.
9- Come on…
10- Again, this is easy. Animal is attacking you? Do anything you can to survive. Starving? Kill an animal to survive. Satanism is a life-loving religion. That being said, don’t hurt animals.
11- Like the first Rule of the Earth, this one is really important. Leave people alone in public and if somebody starts bugging you, tell them to stop. If they don’t leave you be when you ask nicely, SET THEM ON FIRE- No, don’t do that. BUT at that point you are allowed to get mean… or meaner. Just make sure you’re within your rights. Don’t break any laws.
SEE! A lot of these things are common sense to good people! Satanists are good people and a lot of good people are very Satanic, though not Satanists. Remember, Satanists are born, not made.
This is why I get pissed when people look at me in horror or stop talking to me when they find out I’m a member of the Church of Satan because they think I’m dancing with the Devil while eating babies and sacrificing cats. Just do some research and you’ll realize that all I am guilty of is being awesome.
Have a wonderful Walpurgisnacht, my Dearest Devils!
Hello, guys, all 9 of you! I know I’ve been gone for a long while, it’s just been a crazy time at work. The students are starting to get into testing season and it’s becoming beautiful here in the Pacific Northwest so they get really restless by the time they get to me. That’s okay, I understand.
Another reason I have been away for a while is that I am SO fucking tired. I have insomnia, which really sucks when I am trying to look after 30 middle school children. My eyes start to feel like they’re filled with cement and I get tunnel vision if I stop for too long.
It’s impossible for me to get any work done during these hours. My brain moves at half speed and I sit there, thinking about what I want to write, and almost as soon as an idea enters my brain, I forget it. Sometimes, I try to spell of ‘Ove” when it’s really tired.
So, some of you are probably starting a message saying to try melatonin. I can’t. I literally can’t because if I do, my legs shake. Or, well, they feel like they need to shake or they’ll explode. This is extra frustrating because my brain will be tired, but if I stop moving my legs, it feels so much like they’ll burst if I stop even for a second.
Recently, I found that walking helps a lot. I really, really hate running and going to the gym, so I just end up walking a whole lot so that I can tire myself. Sometimes I don’t start walking until very late at night. I had to pause this recently because I ended up seeing somebody trying to break in to an apartment complex on my last walk. When he saw me, he stopped and watched me the whole way. I thought I was about to be murdered or worse.
Luckily, found something that works really, really well and I was so happy to finally get more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep! I’m not taking to tonight or tomorrow, though, because the last time I found something that worked, my brained ended up getting used to it until I had to either take too much or it wouldn’t work.
Insomnia also makes my anxiety and depression much worse and it’s hard to better your life in any way when you’re too tired to eat, even if the food is already made for you. I find myself reading the Compassion Ritual, in my head, to help me fall into some sort of trance that reading brings. I read the Compassion Ritual from The Satanic Bible so that I might sway the night to let me sleep. Sometimes I write song lyrics that will never be felt on singing lips.
BUT, the first thing I try, as soon as it starts to get too late, is drinking warm milk and watching Bob Ross. The man has such a relaxing voice that it lulls me into a sense of comfort and peace. This, along with the warmth of the milk I heated, will sometimes be just enough to push me off the cliff and into sleep.
I hope you all have a great night sleep tonight and wake up feeling refreshed. If not, let me know, I’ll probably be up.
Sexuality is something very personal and it’s hard to put a clean label on anybody. Now, this is where some people start rolling their eyes as far back into their head as they can and to them, I say this: Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, shut the fuck up, because you’re just being ridiculous. One thing I’ve never been able to wrap my head around is the fact that some people are willing to spend so much energy on something that literally doesn’t impact their lives in any way.
Let me give an example: I don’t like cheese. I don’t! It just tastes funny to me and I can only eat in warm on things like pizza and mac. People always give me funny looks when I say I don’t like cheese, but then shrug and pop another bit of cheese bit of cheese in their mouth. Now, what they could do is throw me out of the house and never let me back in. That seems a little crazy, but it’s basically what a lot of parents do to their kids when they find out the truth. “Oh, you don’t like dick? Get the fuck out”.
When I sleep with a girl or find myself checking out a girl, the only people I am directly affecting are me and the girl. Now, since I have a boyfriend, Dylan would have some opinions, but he’s not in this hypothetical universe. (Sorry, Darling). Anybody else who is reacting to the happenings between me any another person is choosing to spend their energy focused on our lives and aren’t actively trying to better their own lives. Well, as long as nobody is being physically hurt (without consent) and everybody involved has agreed to participating.
Basically, we don’t need your shit because we are already drowning in our own. For most people, as I will never claim to speak for everybody, when we start having feelings for the same-sex (or whatever), we try to push it down. We were taught it’s not normal. Sometimes this is taught directly through religion or family values. By family values, I mean a homophobic parental unit who likes to use terms such as “faggots” or “homos”. These are the people who don’t want to let Trans people use the bathroom that matches their identity, but will beat them up for having the audacity to wear lipstick in the “Men’s room”.
Most often, though, we are taught to feel abnormal about these feelings indirectly. This takes the form of movies, shows, books, etc. We see happy heterosexual couples and the gay friend is always the butt of some joke. We hear phrases like “no homo, bro” because having these feelings MUST be so bad that you have to make sure people know you’re not gay.
It’s hard to walk through the world with all of these negative messages hitting you all the time. You start to push everything down and you hate yourself. This is why a lot of teens attempt suicide, and, sadly, a lot succeed in taking their own lives.
When I was going through school, I got a lot of shit for the way I presented myself and, once I came out, the fact that I was bisexual. Everybody thought it was a phase, including my mom. To be fair, a lot of people were saying they were bi so they would get attention. Again, not everybody, but a lot. People also bullied me by not talking to me, spreading rumors, spitting on me, slamming my locker, pushing me, and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. It wasn’t a great time.
But I got through it! I survived every awful day of childhood. Even when my mom didn’t believe me and I felt alone, I made it. That’s what matter. Adulthood is… different. I’m lucky to live in a really accepting area of the United States, so I don’t get a lot of hate here. What I do get is people who fetishize me. Oh yeah, Bisexual people are often asked to be part of group sex or sex with somebody’s partner while “they watch”. Please stop asking me to be part of your fantasy. I don’t sleep around and am actually a serial monogamist. I’m not shitting on other people who are fine with this and o sleep around, you do you, but I don’t want it. That’s why you should, I don’t know have some tact and let me finish my god damn drink, Carl!
Where I work, however, is a little more conservative in thinking. They’re mostly old farmers who go to church on Easter and Christmas. I tend to just keep my mouth shut in these areas, unless somebody starts spewing utter crap. Then I’ll chime in as a fact-checker. I’m not ashamed of who I am, I just don’t want to waste my time and energy on fighting a battle nobody will win. Honestly, we just need to wait for a lot of these people to die… Sorry. *Enter “Hard To Swallow Pills” Meme Here*
In the end, it’s just important to know who you are and love that person. You are perfect, no matter what. If you have no sex, cool. If you have all the sex, cool. If you like guys, cool. If you like trans guys, cool. If you don’t like romantic relations, cool. If you are attracted to all the things, cool. If you like only your opposite sex, cool. If you have multiple partners at once, cool.
I literally don’t care. It doesn’t impact my life in any way because I’m not worried about what anybody else is doing in the bedroom, as long as it’s all consensual and safe. Be smart, kids. Anybody who stays up late trying to figure out how to make the gays stop doing their own thing is spending too much energy on something that literally wouldn’t affect their life if they didn’t let it.
All this being said, if you need support in any way, feel free to email me. No matter what.