I’m Celebrating!

There are a lot of Christian holidays, such as Christmas, Easter, and Good Friday, as well as holidays that seem to be smeared with God’s presence even if it shouldn’t be such as Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July. Now, I still enjoy most of these holidays. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not praising the lord and begging forgiveness, but I will go to evening service at a Christian church on Christmas Eve. Why? I like it when they sing Silent Night with only candles to light the church. It’s really pretty, sue me.

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This… this is a candle

But, there are Satanic Holidays. As I stated in a previous post, one’s own birthday is the highest of the Unholy Holidays because Satanism is a Life-Celebrating religion. Basically, Death is the Great Abstinence so we must make the most out of life, which makes the day in which you entered life YOUR most important day. This is just a really long way of saying ‘The Party Don’t Start ‘Til I Walk In”.

Another Unholy Holiday that seems pretty obvious is Halloween! Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course Satanists are going to love Halloween because it’s so deliciously dark! This is also a date in which, according to The Satanic Bible, all manner of spirits, devils, witches and spirits are on the loose! Well, at least to the older folks in Scotland during the time of the Druids. Those crazy kids, on the other hand, used the night to perform fertility rituals and others that might help sway a certain partner to them, sexually speaking.

The changing of the seasons, marked by the solstices and equinoxes, are also important to Satanism as they represent change and self-recreation.

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Spring vs Winter in WA

BUT! The Satanic Holiday in which I am celebrating today is Walpurgisnacht! Yes, it is almost Walpurgisnacht, which means we are half-way to Halloween! Yay! (I think I’m going as the Satanic Priestess version of Mother Theresa).

Walpurgisnacht takes place each year, starting on the evening of April 30th and ending in the evening of May 1st. It is celebrated in the name of Saint Walpurgis, or Walpurga, and is basically a second Halloween. This celebration marked the change from Winter to Summer and was seen as a day in which the veil between the living and the dead was again thin, as it is on Halloween.

Sadly, I have to work on Walpurgisnacht. Technically I could take the day off, as well as Halloween and my Birthday, but I’m not going to. I need the money and I would rather cash my sick days in for a boost to my paycheck or, just maybe, use them if I got sick. Besides, I like my job.

So, instead, I’m celebrating today! Now, this doesn’t mean to you what it means to me. For one person, this may mean inviting a bunch of people over and sharing the day together playing games and eating good food. Hey, sometimes I’m down for that, too. But, for my, celebrating this Satanic Holiday (at least this year) means not leaving the house, hanging with my cats, and staying in my PJs all day. That’s just how I roll.

So, that being said, I hope you all have a wonderful Unholy Holiday and Celebrate in your own way, my Demonic Darlings.

HS!

From Hell,

LH

I’m Bisexual

Sexuality is something very personal and it’s hard to put a clean label on anybody. Now, this is where some people start rolling their eyes as far back into their head as they can and to them, I say this: Shut the fuck up.

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My Senior Photo

Yeah, shut the fuck up, because you’re just being ridiculous. One thing I’ve never been able to wrap my head around is the fact that some people are willing to spend so much energy on something that literally doesn’t impact their lives in any way.

Let me give an example: I don’t like cheese. I don’t! It just tastes funny to me and I can only eat in warm on things like pizza and mac. People always give me funny looks when I say I don’t like cheese, but then shrug and pop another bit of cheese bit of cheese in their mouth. Now, what they could do is throw me out of the house and never let me back in. That seems a little crazy, but it’s basically what a lot of parents do to their kids when they find out the truth. “Oh, you don’t like dick? Get the fuck out”.

When I sleep with a girl or find myself checking out a girl, the only people I am directly affecting are me and the girl. Now, since I have a boyfriend, Dylan would have some opinions, but he’s not in this hypothetical universe. (Sorry, Darling). Anybody else who is reacting to the happenings between me any another person is choosing to spend their energy focused on our lives and aren’t actively trying to better their own lives. Well, as long as nobody is being physically hurt (without consent) and everybody involved has agreed to participating.

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Grandma and I blowing bubbles

Basically, we don’t need your shit because we are already drowning in our own. For most people, as I will never claim to speak for everybody, when we start having feelings for the same-sex (or whatever), we try to push it down. We were taught it’s not normal. Sometimes this is taught directly through religion or family values. By family values, I mean a homophobic parental unit who likes to use terms such as “faggots” or “homos”. These are the people who don’t want to let Trans people use the bathroom that matches their identity, but will beat them up for having the audacity to wear lipstick in the “Men’s room”.

Most often, though, we are taught to feel abnormal about these feelings indirectly. This takes the form of movies, shows, books, etc. We see happy heterosexual couples and the gay friend is always the butt of some joke. We hear phrases like “no homo, bro” because having these feelings MUST be so bad that you have to make sure people know you’re not gay.

It’s hard to walk through the world with all of these negative messages hitting you all the time. You start to push everything down and you hate yourself. This is why a lot of teens attempt suicide, and, sadly, a lot succeed in taking their own lives.

When I was going through school, I got a lot of shit for the way I presented myself and, once I came out, the fact that I was bisexual. Everybody thought it was a phase, including my mom. To be fair, a lot of people were saying they were bi so they would get attention. Again, not everybody, but a lot. People also bullied me by not talking to me, spreading rumors, spitting on me, slamming my locker, pushing me, and more I’m sure I’m forgetting. It wasn’t a great time.

But I got through it! I survived every awful day of childhood. Even when my mom didn’t believe me and I felt alone, I made it. That’s what matter. Adulthood is… different. I’m lucky to live in a really accepting area of the United States, so I don’t get a lot of hate here. What I do get is people who fetishize me. Oh yeah, Bisexual people are often asked to be part of group sex or sex with somebody’s partner while “they watch”. Please stop asking me to be part of your fantasy. I don’t sleep around and am actually a serial monogamist. I’m not shitting on other people who are fine with this and o sleep around, you do you, but I don’t want it. That’s why you should, I don’t know have some tact and let me finish my god damn drink, Carl!

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Oh my god…

Where I work, however, is a little more conservative in thinking. They’re mostly old farmers who go to church on Easter and Christmas. I tend to just keep my mouth shut in these areas, unless somebody starts spewing utter crap. Then I’ll chime in as a fact-checker. I’m not ashamed of who I am, I just don’t want to waste my time and energy on fighting a battle nobody will win. Honestly, we just need to wait for a lot of these people to die… Sorry. *Enter “Hard To Swallow Pills” Meme Here*

In the end, it’s just important to know who you are and love that person. You are perfect, no matter what. If you have no sex, cool. If you have all the sex, cool. If you like guys, cool. If you like trans guys, cool. If you don’t like romantic relations, cool. If you are attracted to all the things, cool. If you like only your opposite sex, cool. If you have multiple partners at once, cool.

I literally don’t care. It doesn’t impact my life in any way because I’m not worried about what anybody else is doing in the bedroom, as long as it’s all consensual and safe. Be smart, kids. Anybody who stays up late trying to figure out how to make the gays stop doing their own thing is spending too much energy on something that literally wouldn’t affect their life if they didn’t let it.

All this being said, if you need support in any way, feel free to email me. No matter what.

Have a wonderful Saturday, my Delicious Devils!

HS!

LH

I’m A Teacher

I’ve always wanted to be a teacher since I was in High School. I always dreamed of being the cool teacher who students like to hang out with during lunch. I thought I was going to be an English Teacher one day, since my BA is in Creative Writing, and I may move into that field at some point.

It wasn’t until later, while I was attending Skagit Valley Community College, that I found out my love for theatre. While I was getting my BA at WWU, I also took theatre classes that focused on technical side of theatre, accumulating enough for almost a minor. Almost. Like, if I take one more class, I will have a theatre minor. Why didn’t I decide to stay in school one more quarter and just finish off that one credit? Well, because I got a job offer.

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My $22,000 piece of paper

It was last summer during the off-season at Western when I was working as a janitor. I was taking my last break, which was at 1:30 in the afternoon since I got to work at 5am, and I had a text from my mom to come down later for dinner. So, I did. That’s when I started speaking to my mom’s friend who works at the school. She started asking me if I wanted to be a drama teacher. I thought she was joking, so I said that yeah, one day, I would love to be a teacher. That when she looked at me really seriously and said

“No, now”.

And that was that! I went home and filled out my graduation papers, which they had to rush for me. Then I paid what I needed to pay, filled out my application and waited. And waited… Then I waited a while longer. Apparently, they liked to keep me waiting because I was about ready to give up. My stomach turned each day, wondering if I was going to get the job. So, I did what any rational Satanist would do. I performed a ritual.

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A photo from before our first ritual

I decided to do a compassion ritual because I was worried that they maybe had multiple people to decide from or were unsure if they wanted to hire me or not. I have to say, I did feel better afterwards because I felt as if I had finally done everything in my power to sway the outcome. Afterwards, I turned my energy to different things. I started looking at Masters programs and tried painting. I looked for other jobs, too, in case they decided to hire somebody else. Well, a few days later, I received a call. I was being asked to come in and interview! They ended up hiring me on the spot, which is good since school started the next Tuesday.

From then on, it’s been nothing but a dream. Yeah, there are some times when I get stressed and find myself wanting to bang my head against the wall, but I’m happy more often than not. They are all so smart and funny and I love each of them for who they are and I hope I’m still around to see them graduate.

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One of my Favs at the gun march (Used with permission)

When it comes to being a Satanist and being a member of the Church of Satan, I keep that on the DL. If they ask me if I go to church or believe in god, I tell them to ask me after they graduate. Sometimes they debate religion while we are working and I’ll listen to make sure that everything is fair and factual. I’ll chime in as soon as the conversation begins to get personal or if somebody says something inaccurate. This means that I’ve corrected them about the beliefs on some Christians, Hindus, etc. And yes, I’ve defended Satanism.

A real life example: One time a student said that Satanists sacrifice animals and children. Obviously this is crazy and I corrected him. I’m a teacher, which means I am here to teach. I don’t want to create little Satanists, I want to create good people. I want to make sure that these children get thrown into the world with the ability to fact check and question everything.

I do, though, weave satanic sentiments into my teaching and class rules. We respect other people’s time in class, which means knowing when to work, when to chat, and when to listen to Ms. Hippenstiel. This means that nobody should expect to be listened to if they can’t take their eyes off their phone while others are presenting. I also get them to try to work out their own issues before coming to me because I don’t have time to split up fights about desks. But I don’t try to turn them into Satanists. It’s against my religious beliefs to indoctrinate people.

The biggest rule in my class is “Get Over Yourself”. This is important in the theatre because if you spend too much time thinking about how silly you might look, you will never give a good performance. Hell, I was in a play where I played an evil preacher that came back from the dead to yell at gay people who were also dead because they had died of AIDs. It’s called Elegies for Angels, Punks, and Raging Queens and it’s FUCKING BOMB. If I had gotten too worried about what I looked like, I wouldn’t have been able to get audience members to hiss at me when I finished my piece.

I have the future of the United States of America in my hands every day. All I want is for the students to leave school one day and be able to enter the next step of their life with confidence. I was a pretty bad student back in the day, so I understand what it’s like to have a teacher change your life, as my high school English teacher did for me.

I hope they feel safe and loved in my class. If these things hold true, I’ve done my job.

Enjoy the rest of the day, my Lovely Leviathans

HS!

LH

I Once Worked For A Christian Church

Okay, it wasn’t for very long. Literally only, like, three hours. But, unholy shit, what an adventure.

First of all, know that one of my jobs for a while has been as a lighting designer or technician of some sort. I’ve talked about it at length in a different post, if you’re wondering what a Theatrical Lighting Designer does.

So, there’s a saying that there’s only six people in theatre because we are so tight-knit that everybody knows somebody who knows you. Well, a friend of mine of Facebook had a friend who usually worked for a church and was going on vacation, thus needing somebody to run the lights for them.

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Lighting Designer Stuff

They said they would pay $100 per day and, back then, that was worth it to me since it would only take, as I thought, two hours out of two of my Sundays. Sure, I’ll take $200 from Christians any day. So, I took the job.

My boyfriend went with me because it was in Everett which, if you know Washington, is shitty. So, we drove from Bellingham the night before and stayed with a friend in Seattle. We ended up staying up too late and woke up feeling like crap. Honestly, we looked hung over, but we weren’t.

So we then got lost on the way to the church. We get there, and I find out that it’s not a real church, it’s a “church” that rents time from a local theatre each Sunday. Well, I get there and I find out that I’m not allowed to use half of the lights available because the theatre doesn’t want them to. Cool.

Then I find out that I can’t record cues, which is fine because I’ve free-styled lighting before, but then the pastor’s wife came up and started telling me to “save” cues and pushing between me and my instruments, which is really freaking annoying.

I knew really quickly that this wasn’t going to work because they didn’t want me, they wanted their normal lady and I was wearing a pentagram necklace. It was for a show, but whatever. Christians gonna Christian. But then something crazy happened just before people started to file in to get seated.

THEY STARTED SPEAKING IN TONGUES

I’m not kidding. Dylan and I were in the booth and they formed this circle and started swaying and praying, which is whatever, but then one of them went full crazy person. Holy crap. Half way through the stupid event the children, twins less than 8, began doing it, too. Their parents were so loud and said they could feel God within her. Ew.

But I’m here and I have to work! It ended up that I was there for three hours! Remember, I had gotten there late, so, apparently, I should have been there for four hours.

I’m sorry, but $200 isn’t enough money to spend my time with the insane.

So, after far too many songs about God trying to be cool, it was finally over and I waited quietly to get my check and go. This took 45 minutes. I suspect it’s because they had to convince the Pastor’s wife to pay me.

Well, eventually a woman who may have introduced herself to me came my direction holding a check. Luckily, I had my Satanic Bible in my purse and reached for that. As the poor girl handed me the check, I opened the book and slipped the check between the pages for safe keeping.

Let me tell you, the look on her face made me worried the check would be canceled by the time I got to the ATM down the street. It wasn’t. I never went back and they never asked me where I was, so I suppose they agreed that this was the best course of action for both parties.

The best part? When I was depositing the check, I noticed that they had paid me the entire amount in advance.

Have a great night, my Infernal Beauties.

HS!

LH

I’m Working a Show

It’s called Always… Patsy Cline and it’s at a really cute little venue about an hour away from where I live. It’s a very country-artistic place that has live music downstairs and puts on concerts and plays in the loft of the barn the bar calls home.

A shot of the lighting

Well, I just saw something really cool: somebody crying. This might not seem AMAZING, but it is for me because I’m the lighting designer and operator, so seeing this emotions means I’m doing my job correctly.

Basically, if my lights were bad, people wouldn’t like the show or wpuld be distracted. Plus, if I’m really bad at my job, I wpils end up making the actors look weird, which would lower the quality.

That’s all, my loves. Post on Depression coming later.

HS!

LH

I Love Friday the 13th!

Ah Friday the 13th, a date that strikes terror into the superstitious, and even those who are normally skeptical. I hear people who normally would scoff at those who avoid walking under ladders suddenly start blaming traffic on the date. So what is it about Friday the 13th that makes everybody lose their shit?

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The Last Supper

Well, one of the reasons comes from the Bible. It seems that Christianity thinks that the number 13 is a bad omen since there were 13 guests at dinner and one of those guests, Judas, betrayed Jesus and getting him nailed up. The crucifixion allegedly happened on a Friday. Other major Christian events, such as Cain killing Abel and Eve getting Adam the apple, also happened on a Friday.

On Friday the 13th specifically, there have been a few atrocities that have captured the eye of the easily manipulated and irrational. In 1307, French King Philip the IV rounded up the Knights Templar, a religious and military power charged with defending the Holy Land, so that the King could access their finances.

These stories, along with their uncontrollable persistence of Christians to attempt to inject their beliefs into the lives of people who didn’t ask for it, cause the general public to go around believing that there is something evil about the date.

Other, non-religious, events that people point to as evidence are the killing of Tupac; the crash of an Italian cruise ship that killed 30 people; a bombing at Buckingham Palace; and a cyclone in Bangladesh that killed 300,000 people. These are just some of the occurrences that cause some to believe that the date is cursed.

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A Statue rests at the bottom of a lake in Minnesota 

Another reason people get the creeps about the date comes from pop culture and the rise of Jason Voorhees. What could be scarier than an immortal killer that busts through walls and rises from a lake to commit murder each Friday the 13th? Well, a lot, but Jason is one of the most recognizable horror icons of the age.

While I don’t think people actually believe that Jason Voorhees is going to bust through their door in the middle of the night and slash their throats, I do think they may make it a tradition to watch the movies. This is something my boyfriend and I do sometimes, if there are occasions. We are big horror fans, as you might know if you’ve checked out his blog. Actually, we are doing that tonight with a few drinks and snacks. We like drinks and snacks. I digress… all I’m saying is that people may be freaking themselves out for fun, an that’s great! Movie night!

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My new books!

As a Satanist, I’m feeling extra witchy today! It may be because I recently got my new books, The Satanic Witch and The Satanic Scriptures, in the mail. I think it’s because things are just going my way today. First of all, it’s a Friday, so that’s always great. Secondly, I have a full tank of gas and a full tank of sleep. I’m also looking great, so that’s a plus, and my students were pretty great. It’s shitty weather here, but that’s okay, because it’s tourist season where I work and the wind and rain keeps them away. This is nice because these idiots think its okay to park halfway on the road to look at stupid flowers. It’s really annoying.

I think I also really like the fact that people are so on edge. They are looking all over for what might go wrong and are more susceptible to Lesser Magic. I was thinking of the part in The Satanic Bible where Anton says something about 3:00 am being The Witching Hour, not because it’s a bastardization of the holy trinity, but because most people are asleep that might make it easier to throw curses during rituals.

The next Friday the 13th that rolls around, I’ll be doing a ritual with some friends who are also Satanists. Maybe we will do it at 3:00 am just for good measure.

Well, have a good Friday, my wonderful devils, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

HS!

LH

 

 

I’d Love to Hear from You

Hey, guys!

Just wanted to say thanks for even clicking on this blog, since I started it with nobody in mind.

If you’d like to ask more questions or just say hey, I’ve set up an email that you can reach me at: imasatanistand@gmail.com

Or, if you’d like, I’ve also set up a Twitter page that you can find here if that’s more your speed.

Hope to hear from you

HS!

LH