So, I was sent two books and I was going to cover both in one post, but I just finished the first and I HAVE to talk about it RIGHT NOW.
I loved this book for so, so many reasons and I tried to keep track of it all as I was reading in my little bits of spare time. Unholy crap it is wonderful.
Just a little background: This was sent to me by Logospilgrim, a writer with a degree in Religious Studies, which sounds like a really interesting field. If you want to pick up this book and others, check out her website Logospilgrim.com.
So, to be honest, I went into this blind and couldn’t tell right away if this was fiction or nonfiction. The reason why I thought it might be fiction was because it almost read as if it were an account of an angel of God who had escaped and turned towards Satan. Seriously, it’s really good.
It became clear to me quickly that this was not a work of fiction and then I fell in love with the text in a whole new way. First off, it reads more as Prose Poetry than anything else, which I love because it allows the words to take on new power. In the areas of self-acceptance, the words are pleasing in mouth feel and are sonically kind. They tend to lean towards the multi-sylballic romantic. When talking about religions and abuse, the words become sharp and hard, living in the short, Anglo-Saxon area of the vocabulary.
The book speaks on behalf in the necessity of the Seven Deadly Sins in life and how allowing yourself to indulge in each is the key to feeling free to be yourself. It blurs the lines between abuse and religions, drawing comparisons between God and a person who is mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Also a perfect Alien reference thrown in there, which is great.
The influence of Anton LaVey can’t be denied as one reads through a beautiful account of learning to re-accept and love yourself. If you’re playing with the idea of Satanism or are a Satanist and you’re also dealing with abuse or learning to heal now that you’re free, I recommend this book with all my heart. As I have said in previous posts, I was abused, and I see my story, like I know so many others will, as I read this books. I also see my healing and my path to becoming even more whole.
So, thank you, Logos, for sharing this story with me. I can’t wait to get to the next one. Her Infernal Interview will accompany the next review.
To Vital Existence.
IMPORTANT EDIT: If you are in an abusive relationship or need help of ANY KIND, you can probably find a service on this List of Hotlines. It may be scary or hard, but the first step in these situations are always hard, but the first step needs to happen.
Recently, during our little chat, Reverend Campbell asked me if I was at all nervous about being an “out” Satanist, if you will, since I work with kids and have what may is a sensitive position as a teacher. What I mean by an “out” Satanist is that you guys know my name. It’s attached to this blog, as well as other Satanic blogs and sites, which means if you Google me, Satan shit will pop up along with my tiny IMDB page. This has been an issue for people in the past because the masses have a very negative perception of the Church of Satan. Why? Well, because they think that Satan is evil and represents anything they consider “bad”.
So, am I afraid that I will be fired or thrown out of my family because I am a Satanist? No. I’m not. I’m not afraid of work “finding out” (as if it were something I should be ashamed of) because I know they won’t find anything wrong. I don’t bring my Satanic Bible or other literature to school with me; I hide my Sigil of Baphomet necklace when I am around my students and other educators; and I don’t talk about Satanism with any family or colleagues. I don’t feel like religion is an appropriate topic for work, especially a public school, and I also don’t want to take the time to have to explain that I don’t pray to the actual devil.
But, let’s say that a parent did see that I write this blog and decides to contact the school with a complaint. What would happen? Well, I hope that my Principal would take the time to talk to me first so that I can explain all of this to him personally. I don’t want to be seen as somebody who kills animals and kids to summon an all-powerful fire daddy to do my bidding because I’m not. At the same time, there’s nothing my school could legally do.
The Washington State Religious Discrimination Laws state that “This type of discrimination entails making employment decisions based upon someone’s faith, or lack thereof. This could be refusing to hire an employee because he or she is a Seventh-Day Adventist or Orthodox Jew and observes a Saturday Sabbath; firing an employee after he or she misses work to observe a religious holiday […]”
This makes me feel a lot more secure in my job because the school doesn’t want to deal with any legal backlash. I would never take any legal action, but they don’t know that and probably don’t want to risk it. The parents, on the other hand, can simply decide to take their kids out of my class if they are really that ridiculous, but the students would probably throw a fit. They like me.
When it comes to my family, I am even less worried. The only person I need by my side is my Mom and I know she wouldn’t give a shit and a half as long as I’m not in danger. Throughout my whole life she has made it very clear that religion is a personal decision and, while she is agnostic, she will understand and support me. I plan on telling her sometime soon, just not when my Dad is around.
Dad is a Fake Christian. This means he used to go to church every Sunday as a child and now goes maybe once every three years and that’s only if he gets invited to a Christmas service or some shit. He would be very upset to find out I’m a Citizen of the Infernal Empire and that’s totally fine with me. My Dad wasn’t really a part of my life for 17 years so if he finds out and decides not to talk to me for a few years, I’ll be okay. He would eventually get over himself, but it might take a while, and that’s okay.
Other family members would stop talking to me all together. To be honest, these aren’t the people I even want to be a part of my life. They’re judgmental, pushy, and racist and they do it all while hiding behind the guise of Christianity and Jesus. Besides, I don’t like going to church with them or bowing my hair in fake prayer just to eat their shitty dinners.
So, long story short, no, I’m not afraid of people finding out I’m a Satanist because it will weed out the assholes for me. I have Hindu friends/family and Christian friends/family and Atheist friends/family and Agnostic friends/family and more. If they can’t have one person in their lives who is a Satanist, they can see themselves out.
Remember, even if you feel abandoned and alone, you always have me, my sweet Little Lucifers.
I know God isn’t real so the title of this blog might seem a little strange but it is going to make sense in the end. If you watched my recent video with Reverend Campbell you might remember me saying that I had only been a Satanist for about a year and a half now and a Citizen of the Infernal Empire since February 2018.
I’ve been thinking about these answers and figures and I realize that I need to elaborate a little bit. So, I think it’s time to tell you guys a story. It’s a sad story, but it has a happy ending. It’s going to cover a lot of ground, but I promise it won’t be too long.
My parents met in late in 1992 when my Mom was on her way to Dairy Queen and Dad was out driving with his friend. He was in Washington State for the Navy and was out looking for a party when he was blonde hair in a car and thought she might be going to one. Well, when they got to DQ, they met, and it must have been love at first sight because I was born during April 1994. My parents got married not long after finding out Mom was pregnant and not long after I was born my parents moved back to Pennsylvania where my Dad is from.
A year after that, my parents got a divorce. To be totally honest, I don’t know exactly why. Mom has said things like they were too young and were in different places in life and crap like that, but I know better. My Dad was too young to be a Dad and Mom had to step up and do it all. She did just that. My Mom is a bad ass woman and it might be easy to blame the rest of this story on her, but I don’t and if you say something bad about my Mom I will freak out. She’s an amazing woman and everything I hope to be one day.
So, Mom and I went back to Washington to be with her side of the family. She worked a lot and my grandma would take care of me or my aunt or family friends. Mom had a few short-term boyfriends who I don’t remember after my Dad, but they never worked out. Then she met a person who we will call Sam.
Mom was with Sam for 17 of my 19 years and Sam is the father of my Half-Sister and Half-Brother. I love those kids so much and am thankful they are here; Don’t forget that during the rest of this story.
Sam abused my Mom and I. After my Sister was born, everything changed with him. He started drinking all night, every night. He drove us to Christmas dinner after drinking a fifth of vodka. He gambled away our money until we got evicted from house after house after house. Mom used to have to take us an hour away to find him because he was too drunk and out of money. One time, when my Dad called, Sam picked up and told him his daughter had two black eyes.
Sam once forced me to pee my pants. He refused to let me use a toilet and then laughed at me and made me clean it up and then worse. Then my sweet little brother was born. Nothing changed. I have internal and external scars from Sam that I will always carry. There were many times when I thought I was going to die and sometimes that was okay.
I have a semi-religious family. They took me to church sometimes, mostly when I was back east, and while I was never a Christian, I did try to reach God. When I was locked in a closet all day, I prayed all day. After a knife cut a deep, red line across my skin, I prayed until the bleeding stopped. I was desperate and alone and I was willing to try anything, so I prayed.
Nothing happened. Nothing changed. My Mom was the one who saved me in the end because she had taken enough. She had been trying to do her best for my little Brother and Sister, but she knew nothing would be good for them if she were dead. I had also finally told her the extend of the abuse I had faced at Sam’s hand. She had no idea.
In the middle of the night one night, we grabbed everything and we left. We took the animals and enough clothing to get us through a week. I went to school though nobody else went to their normal activities because school was a haven for me, even though I had to worked through abuse from me peers there. I worked my ass of and ended up going to college during school because I knew I needed to succeed. That would mean I had won.
Not long after all this, my Mom married my Dad again and they are still married to this day. It was a hard transition for my Sister and Brother, as well as myself, because we were all on edge. I’m still hand-shy. Sam tried his best to break us, though. He got us evicted and lied so my Dad would lose his job. I was, for some reason, followed by the police because of him.
But we are here now and we have all won. I am a teacher and a professional Lighting Designer. My Mom works in the same school district as I do and Dad is a tower crane operator. My sister is going to WSU and my Brother is my student so I can check his grades and he is currently getting all A’s.
Sam works at a casino, which is fine, but also has 3 DUIs and is massively in debt. Well, I think he should have 3 but only has 1 because he wiggled his way out of them.
What I am trying to get at here is that I’ve always been a Satanist, even when I was praying in a closet for hours. It madam realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. You can get help from friends and family like I did, but you have to ask and you have to make it known you need help. I kept myself alive and anybody who tries to tell me God helped can kiss my clitoris because it was me; Me and My Mom and my family.
I’m not looking for sympathy or tears here because I’ve had a wonderful life thus far. I’ve traveled the country in 18-wheeler trucks and learned to bowl in Wyoming. The guy who taught me had 3 fingers and that’s all he could do anymore. I’ve seen more stars in the sky than I could even imagine because I was so far out in the middle of nowhere. I taught myself a piece of My Heart Will Go On while in Florida on the edge of a hurricane. I’ve seen Hamilton! I get to be a teacher and be in love with my Best Friend. I get to have a wonderful family who will always love me. I get to live in the most beautiful state in the USA. I’ve traveled in tug boat and have flown in so many airplanes that I can feel us starting our decent before the pilot even announces it.
Yeah, I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve done a lot already and I’m only 24! I can’t wait to see where I take myself next in life.
Hae a great rest of your Sunday, my Sweet Satanists!
Don’t forget to stop by and say hey during my interview! Reverend Campbell is going to be sitting down with me across the internet to chat with your friendly neighborhood Satanist. It starts at 7 my time.
Be sure to check out Reverend Campbell’s own website and all the wonderful stuff he does there!
It’s been bit of a crazy day for little old me today, so I’m taking a moment to relax with a hike in a little bit. But, before I go off and do that, I’ve decided to listen to The Satanic High Mass (it relaxes me) and bring you another of my Pre-Pulitzer Prize winning interviews in the newest edition of…
Today, we are speaking to Reverend Raul A!
1) Describe your position within the Church of Satan.
I’m a Priest/Reverend (Third Degree). This is a title granted by the Church of Satan to individuals who’ve applied Satanism to the real world successfully.
2) What finally brought you to apply for membership?
I was interested in Satanism and self-identified as a Satanist since I was teenager. In my early 20’s I was promoting, organizing, and DJ’ing for outsider art events and the industrial music scene in New York City, and often worked with members of the Church of Satan. Since I was already collaborating with members I wanted to make it official and continue to develop that network. I felt that it would be mutually beneficial, and it certainly was.
3) Do you have a favorite toothpaste?
Whatever is on sale.
4) Do you have any pets?
Yes, a cat named Kaspar.
5) What projects are you currently working on?
I’ve got four podcast projects in development. I have two mixtape music podcasts on Radio Free Satan: Chaos Sedated for dark ambient, neofolk, and industrial; Black Signals for minimal techno, synthwave, and electronic post-punk. I’m the host and producer of The Forest Passage podcast for Heathen Harvest, on which I interview post-industrial artists and discuss various related topics with my co-host. And I’m currently outlining the next episode of Den of Iniquity, in which I discuss culture, film, and books with other Satanists.
I’m working on my own music as Anarch. I’m currently working on a collaborative release with several other outsider electronic musicians, and recently released a track for the Church of Satan’s Finding Frankenstein project.
I also do some proofreading, editing, and writing for various websites.
More personally, I’m dedicating more time to reading and working out.
6) What in your life are you most proud of?
I’d say my relationship with my wife and my family. My wife has taught me the importance of seeing other perspectives and her own accomplishments have motivated me in countless ways. My family has always supported me and taught me the ability to balance reason with emotion.
7) If you suddenly couldn’t smell, what smell would you miss most?
My wife’s hair.
8) How you do describe Greater Magic?
Greater Magic is the application of various techniques and tools in a controlled environment with the intention of channeling emotional, instinctual, and sexual energies out of the individual practitioner(s) and into a third-party. This can be sympathetic, lustful, or destructive. It can be a lone Satanist in a ritual chamber focusing on custom sigil, or a band performing on a stage in front of thousands of people. It can also be an artist creating something new, embedding it with their will and letting it loose on the world.
9) What would you do if all spiders were under your command?
Drown my enemies.
10) How do you deal with negative reactions towards your being a Satanist?
I don’t get much of any negative reactions, mainly because I’m not entirely open about it public. But when I have received negativity, it’s usually from some form of collectivist or moralist, each trying to pin Satanism down to some other ideology or persons that they oppose and assign guilt by association. I don’t feed that any of my energy and let my own work speak for itself. That’s not so hard when you don’t care about being “the good guy”.
Alright, kids, I’m out! If you don’t hear from me in a day or two it’s because I’ve been eaten by a bear.
So, as I’ve said before, I’m a teacher and right now we are getting down to the end of the school year which means there’s a lot of work for teachers to do on top of the regular teaching and such that we all do.
That means that by the time I get home at the end of the day, all I want to is hang out with my cats and maybe go on a walk if I can find the energy. This is why I haven’t posted in a few days. I’m tired.
I think it’s important to take a step back from your personal projects from time to time in order to keep yourself sane and give your best self to whatever work you have to do. It’s like Ron Swanson said, “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing”.
Plus, I need to make sure I am happy. I need to take care of me. This is something I think more people need to work on since we are always trying to please others and we end up killing ourselves for our coworkers and friends.
So, with all that being said, I give you the newest installment of…
Today, our victim is Warlock Hyde! I couldn’t find a picture of his face so I Facebook stalked him and pulled his profile picture!
1) Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Well, I’m pretty well established both professionally and personally, so in 10 years, I don’t know that I really want things to change drastically. I’d say I’ll be in the same field only in a higher position. My kids will all have grown by that point, so I expect I’ll have more time for personal hobbies like travel, writing, and my art.
2) How do you respond to those who react negatively to you affiliation with the Church of Satan?
I find that those people are few and far between. Mainly because I don’t flaunt my affiliation so only close friends know it and the type of friends I attract are eclectic to say the least.
Outsiders to my circle generally think I’m a bit of an oddball or a kook, but I’m genial and on good terms with most of those as well.
3) What do you like to do to unwind after a long day?
I read. I write. I draw. I spend time with my family and dogs. I play board games and watch movies. I occasionally smoke my pipe if the weather outside is nice.
4) If you could trade lives with somebody for a day, would you do it and who would you switch with?
Trading implies that whoever I switch with would be in my shoes for a day. So with that as my understanding, then I say I’d rather not. I wouldn’t want someone to bugger up the house that I’ve built. Besides, my life is pretty good, so the only reason I’d trade would be to experience a different time period such as the 1940s music scene.
5) Which of the Nine Satanic Sins do you witness the most each day?
I feel that many of the sins play off of one another. Pretentiousness, lack of perspective, forgetfulness of past orthodoxies, and counter produce pride are rampant if you go online or turn on almost any TV news or talk show. But I think all of those sins could easily fit snugly under the numero uno sin so I’ll backtrack and simply say it’s stupidity that I see almost every single day.
6) Do you have any projects you are working on currently?
Aside from professional stuff, I am always working on some form of writing project. Right now, it’s short tales in the spirit of Weird Tales magazine. But those are all in fun as I rarely publish any of my works.
7) What fantasy character would you most like to have as a pet?
Ooo! I love animals and fantasy so this is a good one! If I think at length, this could change, but my first instinct is to say Scooby Doo. A semi-talking dog would be such a good (and fun) animal to have around.
8) Tell me your favorite joke.
A young monk begins a stay at a monastery where he must take a vow of silence, except for once a year when he is able to say only two words to the temple master.
The first year passes in silence. When the monk gets to speak to the master, he says “Bed hard.”
At the end of another year of silence, the monk comes before the master and says “Room cold.”
Then yet another year goes by and this time the obviously irritated young monk comes before the master. This time he simply says “I quit.”
The master replies, “I expected as much. All you’ve done since you arrived is complain.”
9) What in your life are you most proud of?
My family. I am unorthodox in my habits. As such, I had concerns in in my young married life that my views wouldn’t be compatible with children. However I’ve found, as Doktor LaVey has noted, children are true magicians and when not dumbed down by society at large, they act according to their own nature. And, at least with my brood, that nature fits nicely in with Satanic tenets (even if my younger kids have little clue what that means).
10) Tell me about a powerful Lesser Magic moment.
This is probably the trickiest question on the list since I believe that pretty much every interaction that I have (including the writing of these answers) is a bit of lesser magic. That said, I still hold my proudest moment of lesser magic to be the initial attracting of my (then future) wife. I won’t go into specifics but I did a bit of research in finding out her interests in advance, had a few conspirators drop some beguiling rumors about me, and then moved in accordingly. The end result of that venture is now coming up on 20 years and I couldn’t be happier.
Well, that’s all for today, kids! I’ve got to go get ready for an assembly for the high schoolers.
Have a nice day and remember that in order to be number 1 you have to be odd!
And the fun part is that he actually took the time to answer them! Each of these interviews is designed to inform and entertain, which this one does for sure! The joke at the end made me laugh so hard that I scared my cats.
1) Tell me about a powerful Greater Magic moment.
The most powerful Greater Magic moment I’ve experienced was my first. It was a destruction ritual for a psychic vampire I was dealing with at work. The ritual itself was full of powerful anger and hatred, and afterwards I felt such a euphoric feeling. Within two weeks the person received several performance related write ups. They quit shortly thereafter.
2) Do the people close to you know you’re a member of the Church of Satan?
My wife knows and has read all the books in my collection as well as one of my brothers. The rest of my family would have to be blind not to know as I have the fact that I’m a member on all my social media pages. There are interviews I’ve done on Good Mourning America and Speak of the Devil that are easily found with a google search. I don’t go around telling people but will honestly answer if asked.
3) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?
I love to go out to a steak house that is close by, they have the best new York strip that they cook to a temperature called “blue”, then having either key lime pie or caramel brulee. After that it’s home for great sex and a great old movie for the night.
4) What would you do if you were turned into a horse for a day?
I would be the fastest horse on the track in my youth, and enjoy being a stud in my later years. Being from Kentucky originally I’ve seen that most horses live better than their owners, so what a life that would be.
5) How do you explain Satanism to Non-Satanists?
I explain Satanism as being a powerful philosophy for “I-theists” as Magus Gilmore has called us. The tools within Satanism allow a born Satanist to develop themselves into successful, fully responsible adults who shape the world the way we want it to be. Through everything from art, music, television, technology, etc. Satanists are living the fullest lives with the most impact.
6) What is your biggest pet peeve?
My biggest pet peeve is stupidity. I can deal with people who are ignorant but those who choose to be ignorant of a subject is, in my opinion, the worst kind of stupidity.
7) Are you currently working on any projects?
I am getting in to painting and I write poetry and songs. There are some videos from when I was a touring musician on YouTube for those who like “retro” music. I am working out a plan of putting together a book of stories from the road accompanied by some of my poetry.
8) What are a few things on your bucket list?
I want to sky dive on my 40thbirthday, take my oldest daughter (6) to Germany, and get together with Reverend Campbell and Warlock Jeff Bowling for a beer.
9) Would you rather give up toothpaste or toilet paper for a week?
Toothpaste. I think there are somethings you could eat or gum you could chew to fix the cleanliness of my mouth. Not much you could do comfortably for your ass.
10) Tell me your favorite joke.
My girlfriend’s dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was livid, she said “what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My cats have calmed down now and are trying to get me to love them now. Or feed them. It’s the same, really. I was going to say this was a fun interview for me, but that’s obvious. How about I just tell you when an interview irritates me, yeah? Cool.