Misery is Bliss

The lights dim and smoke rolls through the room as a ghost-like bride leads a grim groom to the stage as she swings a puffing thurible. They sit, a ghostly light casting sharp shadows upon their faces. The show begins.

TWF1
The Main Events

This is the beginning of the end that is The Wedding Funeral, a show that is touring across The United States and leaving misery (read as joy) in its wake. Seriously, this show made me smile, gave me chills, and, at one point, made my eyes water. I was amazed.

The theatrics enhanced the music and the music seamlessly meshed with the design. Darren’s mastery of the guitar matched with Ethel’s haunting saws creates an atmosphere that, alone, would tickle the senses. Then starts the lyrics I am completely entranced with the music that is meeting my ears. I had never heard anything like it.

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Cutest Couple in the World award winners 2019

The Wedding Funeral made me feel as though I was in a Broadway production, a Ritual Chamber, and a Rock Concert all at the same time and I cannot recommend it enough. If it’s coming within 100 miles of you, I expect you to go and let me know what you think.

Thank you, Darren and Ethel, for bringing this beautiful music to the world. Hail you both!

HS!

LH

 

I Interview a Satanist Renewed

Good evening, my lovelies. Since it is going into spring time, I began to think about growth and new beginnings. Spring time is when animals start having their new babies and trees start getting new buds on their branches. With this idea of growth and renewal in mind, I decided to interview a member of the Church of Satan who is going through a process of redefining and growing into themselves. Put your hands together for a friend of I’m a Satanist And… Gwen!

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Stolen from Facebook (Wonderful picture) 

All that being said, I am so very thankful to Gwen for being the latest installment in…

end of MY rope

1) How’s life?

Better than I could have ever imagined since starting to transition, I didn’t know what I was missing out on!

2) Have you had any interesting or exciting experiences since starting transitioning? 

More “funny” than interesting, I’ve had people not notice the physical changes, despite them being very obvious (along with me wearing female clothing etc).
One conversation I basically asked them if they’d noticed the changes, they said “your hair is longer?” – and I had to point at my tits (seriously) until they clicked that it was more than just hair being longer.
I was wearing a long flowing dress at the time too…..
3) Will how you celebrate your birthday change this year? 
I haven’t decided fully yet, but something to do with 32-bit computing and femaleness – I’m still a geek at heart
4) What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day? 
Coding something (currently working on an OS kernel), a bit of gaming or TV – often with a nice cold drink and a snack.
5) What do you say to Satanists who are anti-LGBTQA+? 
“You aren’t Satanists” – seriously, people who don’t get that obviously never read LaVey’s work.
6) What did you grow up masterbating to? (Reader submitted: feel free to submit your own in the comments!) 
I plead the 5th!
Ok, a few random girls I liked in school (sidenote: that held me back for years, I thought i couldn’t be trans cos I liked girls) and Sarah Michelle Gellar and a few other random celebs.
7) What’s the biggest change in your daily life thus far since beginning to transition?
Practical stuff mainly – taking my HRT meds (not a big change really, I already swallowed a bunch of nootropics and supplements daily for health reasons), different clothing, and applying makeup if I’m going out somewhere.
8) Has your relationship with the Church of Satan changed since your began the transition process? 
Not yet, I haven’t got a formal diagnosis of gender dysphoria yet, once I have that i’ll be applying for a new card.
9) What’s the stupidest driving law in the place in which you (generally) live? 
Not a clue, I don’t drive.
10) What is your favorite guilty pleasure song you would never admit to anyone else? (Reader submitted: feel free to submit your own in the comments!)
hmm……
crawling by Linkin park – edgy emo teenage crap, but I first heard it when I was a very emo teenager, and if you watch the video it kinda makes sense why I related to it……..
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I hope you are all having a great day and enjoyed this installment in The Infernal Interviews! I’ll see you soon, my darlings.
HS!
LH

Here’s What I Listen to

I like to listen to music. I know this is a very bland statement because EVERYBODY likes to listen to some sort of music, but it’s true. Music in the shower; in the car on the way to work; at work sometimes; when I go on my ten-mile walks; anywhere I can listen to music, to do. It helps me process my emotions and sometimes allows me to pretend I’m in a music video, which is a lot of fun.

Now, I thought about doing my “Top Ten Favorite Satanic Songs” but then I realized two things. 1) I don’t know/enjoy that many Satanic songs and 2) I am of the opinion that every song is Satanic. Yes, even Christian music. I love advent music and will often listen to Amazing Grace around the Holidays, as well as others, because I enjoy the memories that accompany the music. I consider a song Satanic as long as I, a Satanist and God of my own universe, like it.

audience band concert crowd

So, without further ado, here are my Top Ten Favorite Songs (at the moment) in…

Lauren’s Top Picks*

(*Links in the titles)

10) Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd  

I love this song because it is just so much fun to sing to! Now, I never seek this song out, but instead wait for the radio station to play it because then it feels like more of a treat. I can’t really say exactly what I love about this song other than it’s fun to sing to in the car. If it comes on at the clurb, I sing to it, but I’m not sure how to dance to it other than to square dance and I won’t do that. (Sorry if you like to square dance. You do you, boo).

9) Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm by The Crash Test Dummies 

This song is really special to me because my Mom used to put it on in the car to get me to fall asleep when I was a baby. She said the feeling of the car (or laundry basket on the dryer) combined with the low voice of Brad Roberts would make me pass right out. I still have a hard time listening to this song in the car at night because it’ll make me feel sleepy.

8) My Shot in the Hamilton Soundtrack by Lin-Manuel Miranda

I adore this song because it is so much fun to listen to and it’s all about doing your damn best. What could be more Satanic than that!? These young men are about to go to war and they’re imagining what they could do to change the world for the better. They want to be the best that they can be. Plus it’s rap! What is more fun than a rap musical about the founding of the United States?

7) Bodak Yellow by Cardi B

This may seem as if it’s coming out of left field, but I really love this song for how empowering it is. It’s all about how Cardi doesn’t have to be a dancer anymore and gets to live her best life, free of what those who are jealous of her might think. One of my favorite lines is an allusion to the shoes she is wearing which she says are “red bottoms”. Now, I don’t pay a lot of attention to fashion, but I do know that this is referring to Christian Louboutin shoes which have red bottoms and are known to be REALLY EXPENSIVE. Like, $800+ expensive. That’s my rent!

adult beautiful blur casual

6) Jukebox Hero by Foreigner 

Oh, what a classic, am I right? I love listening to this one because it’s a great song overall. Wonderful beat, fun guitar (obviously), and a really great story! I didn’t really listen to the lyrics at first, instead enjoying the song as a whole. Then I really listened and realized it was even more amazing than I had thought! It’s about this kid who can’t afford to get into a concert and then ends up becoming a rock star through hard work. Can I get a Hail Satan?

5) Rental by Deadly D

Man oh man do I love this song. Please pardon that the video I linked to is a live version, I can’t find one that isn’t, but it’s on the CD in my car so I know it’s out there. I love this song because it’s freaking funny. Another reason I like this song so much is that I know the guys. I was, honestly, expecting that they would be sucky because it seems most people who want to show you their music are actually mediocre, but I ended up loving every song! Fun fact: I was allowed the honor of singing a verse of this song with them a few days ago!

4) You should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish

Gotta say, the music video for this song caught me before the actual song because she has damn spiders running all over her. I was amazed and sickened and couldn’t look away. But the song itself is really good. You can tell what the song is about from the title, but I found it really fun to listen to as I was walking around my town because it let me pretend to be in my own movie/music video. Yes, I am laughing at myself right along with you.

3) Year Zero by Ghost BC

I feel powerful when I listen to this song. Yes, this is the first song on the list that would be considered Satanic and also the first band to get me into Satanism. I know Ghost is sometimes considered First Phase, but screw off, I really like driving down the road, singing “HAIL SATAN” at the top of my lungs. I adore a lot of songs by Ghost, but this one is my favorite out of all of them, for sure.

man using brown and black electric guitar while singing
What I think I look like in the car

2) Killer Queen by Queen

So, this song is interesting because it’s about how high-class people can also be sluts, which I think is wonderful. I don’t think Freddie Mercury is casting this in a negative light, though, as the woman in the song sounds freaking amazing. I like to joke that I’m going to walk down the aisle to this song if I get married one day. Mom doesn’t think that’s very funny.

1) Lighting Crashes by Live 

Damn, what a song. This is another song that used to be a lullaby for me. I would fall asleep when this came on and can sometimes still feel sleepy, just like The Crash Test Dummies song from before. The reason I picked this one over that for the top spot, though, is because I’ve also had some wonderful memories become attached to it as I’ve grown up. I was the only one in my history class to know the song and my teacher thought that I was cheating because I knew what song it was by the first two chords. My favorite memory of this song, though, was when I slow danced to it in a bar. He wasn’t a very good dancer, but I was so happy in that moment and I will carry that feeling with me for the rest of my life.

Well, I hope you liked some of the songs on here and might give a listen to a few that you don’t know! I’d like to say, too, that these are subject to change from day-to-day, just based on my mood and such. I tried to give you a comprehensive list, but I’m sure I missed a few because I’m not in the right mood to even think about them.

So, what are some of your favorite songs, my Darling Devils?

HS!

LH

I Interviewed The Satanic Warlock of the Year

Good morning, my darlings, and welcome to a very special edition of The Infernal Interviews! Today, we hear from the winner of Reverend Campbell’s Satanic Warlock  of the year Award, Les Hernandez. For those who don’t know, The Satanic Warlock of the Year is nominated and voted upon by other members of the Church of Satan during the month of October. Nominees must be in good standing with the Church of Satan and “not necessarily in a direct way, but more importantly through their actions and mastery of their works and demeanor.”

While the award has passed this year, you can still watch the awards show on Reverend Campbell’s Youtube page, which I highly recommend, as we get to hear from a wonderful collection of guest speakers. This years winner, Reverend Les Hernandez, is an amazing example of what it means to take the teachings of Satanism and create real change in the world. I’m not going to get really into it, as they’ve been discussed before, but if you’re interested, some of his many accomplishments can be found here.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into today’s edition of

end of MY rope

 

Our victim today is The Satanic Warlock of the Year, Reverend Les “Bloodfire” Hernandez.

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Thank you, again, to Reverend Hernandez for taking the time to answer my questions!

1) What does being a Satanist mean to you? 
Being a Satanist, to me, means owning your actions and thinking before
you act. It means taking pride in your personal successes and
achievements, and not letting anyone prevent you from pursuing your own
happiness. It’s being true to your own nature and not what the media and
societal norms try to program you to be. This can be
dangerous–especially in a society where the norm is portrayed as
extreme Left or Right, not seeing that both sides are just different
flocks of sheep. The danger comes in both sides’ hatred of anything not
like them. Blues will call you Red, Reds will call you Blue, while both
sides are blind to your real color, or Third Side. People get beaten and
killed for not conforming, even in this day and age, so the Satanist has
forethought and knows when to be what or when to “tuck the Baphomet,” as
has become the phrase. Change doesn’t come from conformity, however. It
comes from The Other; it comes from that outsider rebellious spark or
Black Flame. These things are why the spirit of rebellion will always
exist where there is a free mind, and why we embody the ultimate rebel
in the form of the adversary–Satan.
2) How do you spend your birthday? 
As richly as I can! I used to throw live events where my band would play
and I’d be surrounded by Martinis, but I like things a little quieter
these days. A good steak dinner with perhaps a nice Charles Smith
Cabernet Sauvignon, with select company in a dimly lit room is more my
style now. Followed eventually by more carnal, sensual pursuits, which
no real birthday should go by without.
3) Which of the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth speaks to you the most? 
Off-hand, I’d say number three: “When in another’s lair, show him
respect or else do not go there.” This should apply across the board,
from homes, to businesses, to the local Wal-Mart! People seem to feel
like just because they’re in a store in the mall that they don’t need to
remember etiquette. I’d like to see Willy Wonka’s lesson’s on a grander
scale in these cases. Can’t keep your voice down on your cell phone in
the grocery store? Fall into a trap-door in the floor leading to a patch
of poison ivy. Folks would start behaving more civilized, I’d wager.
4) If cats had wings, what would be the best name for one? 
Labia. Without a doubt!
5) What in your life are you most proud of? 
The letters I sometimes get from folks who tell me how I’ve inspired
them or changed their lives in some way. To hear from others what you
felt about your own mentors growing up–that’s absolutely magnificent,
also humbling.
6) Describe your idea vacation if you could time travel. 
I’d hop in my TARDIS, pick up a young Barbara Feldon (1960s era), and
bounce around every top eatery of the past few centuries. We’d see the
Ramones when they were young, The Beatles, every creepy old bookshop in
the world. I’d probably spend a lot of time in the 1960s and ’70s. And
I’d also probably eventually return Ms. Feldon to her time and pick up
Winona Ryder to go check out other galaxies and the future with me.
Hell, with a TARDIS you don’t have to limit your vacation time! Might as
well do it all! (Last years Satanic Warlock of the year also loves Doctor Who. The author is seeing a pattern.)
7) How did it feel to win Satanic Warlock of the Year? 
First of all, being nominated was a shock. I really didn’t expect it,
much less to win. Hell, I voted for Adam Cardone! Hahaha! There were so
many impressive nominees that I was just proud to be in such esteemed
company. These are folks I greatly admire, each for their own reasons.
Here I am just doing my own thing, so it caught me off guard. I’m
definitely honored and grateful to those who voted for me. It’s a proud
honor, indeed!
8) What advice do you have for young Satanists? 
Study our core texts, don’t just glance through the books. Apply what
you’ve read in the real world. Get a firm working grasp of these
principles and ideas. These are the tools that will move you forward.
Study the history of Satanism, so you can confidently speak to your
religion when confronted by naysayers. Read HTF Rhodes’ ‘The Satanic
Mass’ and A.E. Waite’s ‘Devil Worship in France’ to get an understanding
of why we can honestly say that there was no such religion as Satanism
until it was founded and codified in 1966 with the creation of the
Church of Satan. Then familiarize yourself with the reality of the
Satanic Panic of the 1980s and ’90s, and just how real that kind of mass
hysteria can be–it ruined people’s lives ad destroyed families. These
tools will give young Satanists a strong foundation to move into the
world from.
9) What is your best Halloween memory? 
One of my favorites was spent at a fellow member’s house, who is no
longer with us. I met a lot of other Satanists that night that I still
call friends. Drinks flowed, the conversation was great, there was a
group ritual. Memories I’ll always cherish.Another favorite Halloween memory was when I was 16 and dressed up as
Nikki Sixx. A friend and I went into this rock’n’roll shop and, as the
cute counter gal was talking to us, I took off my wig and she about hit
the floor in shock that it wasn’t real. It was the ’80s, so big hair was
normal. We all had a good laugh!

10) How do you answer the question “What is Satanism?” 
Satanism is an atheistic religion based on humanity’s carnality and real
nature instead of believing in some fantasy afterlife we have absolutely
no proof of. Satanism is selfish, but we acknowledge the difference
between selfish and greedy. It is the Individual over the herd; the
outsider excelling out of genuine passion as opposed to the life-hating
daily grind working drones with no hope of fulfilling any dreams.
Satanism is putting your lust for life into reality–living it on your
own terms, but always being in control of it. It’s the best tool for
real happiness, as far as I’m concerned.
The End
Thank you, again, to Reverend Hernandez for taking the time to answer my silly questions and to Reverend Adam Campbell for putting everything together. If you’d like to participate next year, start following Campbell on Youtube or you can join me in becoming a Patreon.
If you’re wondering, there is a comparable award for the ladies in The Church of Satan. Magistra Ygraine holds the Wicked Witch of the Year Award on her show, Confessions of a Wicked Witch, presented by Radio Free Satan. The nominations for this begin soon, so keep an ear to the ground.
Thank you all for reading and thank you once more to Reverend Hernandez and Reverend Campbell for everything, and congratulations.
HS!
LH

Today is Extra Special

So, I normally don’t do two posts in the same day, but I was really excited to get this one out there and I know you’ll be really excited, too. I also didn’t want to skip a day in my Seven Sins essays as I have a bit of a thing going. Ever forward!

So, it is my pleasure to welcome you to this entry in The Infernal Interviews!

Our sacrifice today is the wonderful Mitch Horowitz

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He sent me his own photo and everything!

So, from the extensive research I’m currently doing, as well as what I’ve seen on Twitter, I can tell you that Mitch is a busy guy. He is an award-winning historian, as well as an author on subjects ranging from The Occult to the secret life of Ronald Reagan. His voice has been used to bring tales to life in the form of audiobooks and has been a voice of “alternative spirituality on CBS Sunday Morning, Dateline NBC, CNN, and throughout the national media”, according to his blog. He has been published but has also been on the other side of that as a publisher.

Honestly this is all on his blog and if you want to check that out, click here and you will go there. Don’t click here though, it’ll go to something else.

So, without further ado, lets get on with this entry in…

end of MY rope

1) What is your relationship to the Church of Satan?
I am not a member (I’m an ecumenical Satanist) but I greatly admire CoS and the work Anton did in founding it. Aesthetically and ethically, CoS has been an earthquake on the religious scene. And I admire Peter Gilmore’s work—I’m more metaphysical in my orientation, but he has sharpened CoS’s focus in a manner that keeps it from being a museum to what Anton did, and keeps things fresh.

2) Do you have any creative projects on which you are currently working?
I have a new book called The Miracle Club coming out in October, and I am writing and speaking a lot. I’ll be Los Angeles in October discussing the life of Manly P. Hall, women and occultism, and why magick works. Soon I plan to present a series of talks and a book on Satanism called God of the Outsiders, so I’m looking forward to that. My pal Ronni Thomas and I are also making a film version of the occult book The Kybalion. (Oh this all sounds fun)

3) What is the best name for a cat?
Lucius.

4) Tell me a little about “Satan’s Honor Roll“.
I wanted to lay down the law that there is an ethical code on the Left Hand Path. The other night, one of my kids asked me, “Dad are you a Satanist—yes or no?” I said yes, but realized that I have trouble explaining even to my own kids that that doesn’t mean what they get taught online or hear in their peer group. I think that was the inception for the article, which has gotten an incredible reaction.

5) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?
I like to be alone. I might do a ritual of some kind, or write down aims for the future. I do like getting gifts—generally anything having to do with artist Steve Ditko, and I don’t care if I have it already because I also like giving stuff away
6) Do you think there is relationship between how well somebody can drive and their religion?
Wow—amazing question. I have noticed that Hasidic Jews drive like shit. I can say that because I had an Orthodox bar mitzvah. So, I really don’t know, but that’s one observation!

7) How do you define Satan?
I do believe in a nonphysical aspect of life, so I see Satan as the name that humanity has placed upon the energies of rebellion, discontent, protest, and consequences-be-damned art. Whatever term you use, I do believe that there is an extra-physical presence called Satan whom you can approach. Approach him at twilight at a crossroad—he’ll give you a new name.

8) What’s your biggest Pet Peeve?
People who think they’re badass because they call people names online. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, don’t say it digitally.

9) What are your top three favorite songs?
10) Tell me your favorite joke
Here’s one I made up (may Satan forgive me):

“Did you hear that Tom Petty is taking swimming lessons?”

“No, tell me about it.”

“He says the wading is the hardest part.”

The End

Damn, I am glad we ended on that joke because it was really bad good. Please take a second to check out Mitch and all of his work as he has taken a moment to chat with us.

Enjoy the rest of your day, my Darling Devils, and I’ll see you tomorrow in the Fourth Circle.

HS!

LH

It’s Wonderful

One of the things I always envied about religion was the sense of community they had. Each time I would go to church I would see people talking and checking up on each other. When they said “I’ll pray for you”, I heard “I’m here for you”. That was my first mistake because what they meant was “I’ll have you in my thoughts but will personally do nothing to help. Let’s see what the man in the sky does!”

But still! They had a sort of extra family and with how crazy my family is, that sounded pretty great. Still, I didn’t exactly want to meet every Sunday at 7am Bible Study to talk God and all that jazz, so I got a little excited when I found Satanism.

Well, sorta. The Grotto system sounded cool to me at first, but then I realized that they aren’t really a thing anymore. BUT, once I started finding my little group of Internet Satanists, I realized that I was able to find people who supported me and would share ideas with me and who would debate with me over various topics.

My community got even larger as I started this blog and began to interview people. I love presenting these amazing Satanists to you so that they can be held up as a positive example of the religion we share. Each one of them shows how two Satanists are alike and we come to the Church of Satan in out own way. It’s wonderful.

So, with my little speech out of the way, here’s the latest entry in…

end of MY rope

Welcome, to Warlock Jeff Bowling!

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HAHA I found this on twitter for I am a wizard!

1) How long have you been a Satanist?

I know it has become a cliché to say that one is born a Satanist but, I honestly believe that. My entire life I have lived by the philosophy that is Satanism. For many years I did not know that was what I was doing, it just came naturally. As I grew, matured and studied more, those ideas became more firm in my mind. Then, in 1999, I finally read “The Satanic Bible” by Anton Szandor LaVey. Everything clicked almost instantly. I realized that there was at least one other person on the planet who thought like me, who viewed the world through the same lens I did. I knew then, that I was a Satanist and haven’t looked back since. When I turned 18, I joined the Church of Satan, and haven’t looked back from that either.

2) Have you received any backlash professionally from people finding out?

No, I haven’t.

I have always been smart about “tucking the Baphomet” in professional circles. There was simply never a reason for anyone I worked with, to know. Occasionally, people would find out through various means, or I would let them in on the open secret for one reason or another but, by that point I had developed a solid, unassailable reputation in whatever place of employment I was in, and it was more of an interesting talking point than anything that someone would hold against me. The one exception to that was when I was enlisted in the Army. I ended up leading an “alternative” religious group in Baghdad, Iraq and because of that role, my Chain of Command had to be brought up to speed. Fortunately, the officers and NCOs I worked under were true professionals and did not have a negative thing to say, nor did they hold me back in anyway.

These days, my career is almost solely focused on entertainment such as: music, acting, wrestling, etc. In this case, it has actually become beneficial to be known as a Satanist so, ever the opportunist, I cash in on that every chance I get. This has also opened the door for me to be more publicly involved with the Church of Satan, which is why my name and face have been popping up so frequently over the last few years.

3) What would you name a camel if you had one for a pet?

I always end up naming my pets after famous cartoon, comic book or video game characters. So, I think I’d name my camel “Joseph” after Joe Camel (or Old Joe, as he was originally known) from the Camel cigarette ads.

4) Are you working on any creative projects at the moment?

Let’s see, currently, I am:
– Writing new music for my punk/metal band Slave to Reality

– Working on the debut album, short film and some other things for my solo multimedia project Embrace the Forbidden

– Recording the first set of interviews for a new storytelling podcast specifically for outsiders called “Historia Infernalis”

 

– Collaborating with the fine folks in The Satanic Players Society as the opportunity arises (If you ever need an amazing Lighting Designer, hit me up)

and, a few other writing and film projects that are not ready to be announced yet.

In addition to those purely creative projects, I also:

– Co-host “Good Mourning America” (a Satanic perspective on politics and current events) on the Third Side Network

and,
– Co-host “Study, Not Worship” (an in-depth look at the Church of Satan canon) which is coming soon

Another project I am currently working on, that I am the most proud of, is the Infernal Legion. The IL is a veterans service organization made up solely of Satanic veterans and run by Church of Satan members. Born on Veterans Day last year, our goal is to provide service, support and camaraderie to service members, veterans and their families, with a special emphasis on those veterans who are also Satanists, or the “Elite Among the Alien Elite” as we call them.

I obviously like to stay busy.

5) Describe a powerful Lesser Magic moment.

When I was fresh out of the Army, there was a job I really wanted through a private security contractor. While I had a decent resume, I did not have the experience the company wanted for this particular position. So, I applied for a lower position but intentionally designed my resume to make me look overqualified. Then, I spent two weeks investigating the interviewer. I found out every little detail I could about her, and turned myself into what I imagined she would see as the perfect candidate for the position I was secretly going for. By the end of the interview, I had not only been offered the job I wanted (experience be damned) but, I had also gotten her personal contact information and set up a date for a week later.

6) What is your dream house?

This is actually a pretty difficult question to answer. There are houses that I love looking at, such as Old Victorian homes, castles, unique mansions, etc. I especially love anything with hidden rooms, multiple wings and odd angles. I also love the idea of isolation. A beautiful little cabin in the woods, or a hut on a beach somewhere. However, I am a wanderer at heart. The idea of settling down somewhere permanently, is almost unthinkable. There is always somewhere else to go, something else to see, another adventure to be had. I cannot really see a house in my imagination that I would say, “Yes, that! I would be happy there forever!” So, I guess my dream house would be a fully-loaded, top of the line RV, so that I can keep on rolling to the next town, state or country when I feel the call of the road.

7) Tell me about your last nightmare.

 

I think it is important to note that I like scorpions. They are incredible little creatures and I am not the least bit scared of them. However, the last nightmare I had involved an entire army of scorpions.

I had found myself in an abandoned house that did not seem the least bit familiar. Myself and some of my close friends were all there together. We were doing repairs, painting, laying new carpet, a total renovation project. I don’t know if someone was moving into this house, or we were all working as contractors, I’m not really sure what the story was with that but, there we were, renovating this house.

I was in the process of tearing down a wall with a sledgehammer. The first strike barely cracked the drywall, which is obviously weird. The second cause it to splinter a little bit more. I set the sledgehammer down and peered into the crack to find out what the wall was made of.

Out of the crack came a tiny, brown scorpion with a red streak across its back. I thought it was really odd, I called out to let everyone know what I had found but, I could not take my eyes off of this scorpion. I kept trying to get a closer look.

One of my fellow laborers called out from the other side of the room, “What did you find?” I looked over and told him, then turned my attention back to the scorpion. Apparently, that action had pissed it off. It had turned to face me, claws open, tail ready to strike. It was at this time that I realized the red streak was actually a sash of some sort.

It tried to sting me and I jumped back. Then the wall practically exploded. The crack ripped open and thousands of these brown scorpions poured out. There were small ones and large ones, all brown and all wearing red sashes. My friend cursed and ran, I followed him, grabbing the sledgehammer on my way out.

As we made our way to the next room, I noticed cracks forming on all the walls, and scorpions beginning to make their way out of them. We joined up with the rest of the party and tried to get out of the house but, the doors and windows wouldn’t open and the scorpions were advancing on us.

I took up a defensive position, ready to swing the sledgehammer and stomp as many of them as I could.

Then I woke up. It was a really strange dream but, unless the next scorpion I see is wearing a red sash, I don’t think I really have anything to worry about.

8) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

My Birthday usually ends up being about a 3 week event. It varies every year but, I always try to schedule a show because I love performing. I also go to the movies, eat out quite a bit and bar hop like crazy. The marathon usually ends with a few friends and I sitting around a fire pit, nursing hangovers and swapping stories.

9) Do you think being a Satanist changes how you drive?

Hahaha! I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t know what driving as a non-Satanist is like so, I can’t say for certain but, there is certainly no more appropriate time for Rule #11 to be in effect. Honestly

though, I drive the same way I walk or ride a bike, with a purpose. I have somewhere to be, so do you. We have to share this piece of road at the moment, so let’s not get in each other’s way.

10) What is something you’d like Non-Satanists to know about Satanists?

Well, there is the normal stuff like we don’t sacrifice babies or animals, we don’t believe in Satan as an anthropomorphic deity, etc. To be quite honest though, that information has been publicly available since 1966. There are hundreds of books, interviews, podcasts, essays, public statements and other ways to find out about what Satanism isn’t. Do some research.

If there is one thing I think it is important for non-Satanists to understand, it is that we don’t want to convert them. My worldview is mine alone. I don’t care what they do at their church (or other place of worship), and I have no desire to show them what happens in my ritual chamber. You either are a Satanist, or you are not, and the odds are highly in favor of the latter.

Other than that, to paraphrase Magus Gilmore, I wish them all the best on their path in life, I know I’m certainly happy on mine.

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Keep supporting each other, my lovelies. I don’t even mean just Satanists- Lift up those who are trying to change the world for the better.

HS!

LH

I Interviewed Reverend Raul

It’s been bit of a crazy day for little old me today, so I’m taking a moment to relax with a hike in a little bit. But, before I go off and do that, I’ve decided to listen to The Satanic High Mass (it relaxes me) and bring you another of my Pre-Pulitzer Prize winning interviews in the newest edition of…

end of MY rope Today, we are speaking to Reverend Raul A!

1) Describe your position within the Church of Satan.
I’m a Priest/Reverend (Third Degree). This is a title granted by the Church of Satan to individuals who’ve applied Satanism to the real world successfully.
2) What finally brought you to apply for membership?
I was interested in Satanism and self-identified as a Satanist since I was teenager. In my early 20’s I was promoting, organizing, and DJ’ing for outsider art events and the industrial music scene in New York City, and often worked with members of the Church of Satan. Since I was already collaborating with members I wanted to make it official and continue to develop that network. I felt that it would be mutually beneficial, and it certainly was.
3) Do you have a favorite toothpaste?
Whatever is on sale.
4) Do you have any pets?
Yes, a cat named Kaspar.
5) What projects are you currently working on?
I’ve got four podcast projects in development. I have two mixtape music podcasts on Radio Free Satan: Chaos Sedated for dark ambient, neofolk, and industrial; Black Signals for minimal techno, synthwave, and electronic post-punk. I’m the host and producer of The Forest Passage podcast for Heathen Harvest, on which I interview post-industrial artists and discuss various related topics with my co-host. And I’m currently outlining the next episode of Den of Iniquity, in which I discuss culture, film, and books with other Satanists.
I’m working on my own music as Anarch. I’m currently working on a collaborative release with several other outsider electronic musicians, and recently released a track for the Church of Satan’s Finding Frankenstein project.
I also do some proofreading, editing, and writing for various websites.
More personally, I’m dedicating more time to reading and working out.
6) What in your life are you most proud of?
I’d say my relationship with my wife and my family. My wife has taught me the importance of seeing other perspectives and her own accomplishments have motivated me in countless ways. My family has always supported me and taught me the ability to balance reason with emotion.
7) If you suddenly couldn’t smell, what smell would you miss most?
My wife’s hair.
8) How you do describe Greater Magic?
Greater Magic is the application of various techniques and tools in a controlled environment with the intention of channeling emotional, instinctual, and sexual energies out of the individual practitioner(s) and into a third-party. This can be sympathetic, lustful, or destructive. It can be a lone Satanist in a ritual chamber focusing on custom sigil, or a band performing on a stage in front of thousands of people. It can also be an artist creating something new, embedding it with their will and letting it loose on the world.
9) What would you do if all spiders were under your command?
Drown my enemies.
10) How do you deal with negative reactions towards your being a Satanist? 
I don’t get much of any negative reactions, mainly because I’m not entirely open about it public. But when I have received negativity, it’s usually from some form of collectivist or moralist, each trying to pin Satanism down to some other ideology or persons that they oppose and assign guilt by association. I don’t feed that any of my energy and let my own work speak for itself. That’s not so hard when you don’t care about being “the good guy”.
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Alright, kids, I’m out! If you don’t hear from me in a day or two it’s because I’ve been eaten by a bear.
HS!
LH