I Want to Introduce You to One of My Heroes

So, if you’ve been following this blog for a while, you would have probably (Hopefully) read my blog posts about Lighting Design and Teaching. Well, I didn’t end up where I am by accident. I got here by working hard and loving what I do. Technically my degree is in Creative Writing, so most people think I’m going to be an English Teacher or a starving writer, but I’m not really using it in either of my jobs.

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RUN DAVE!

As a Lighting Designer and a Drama Teacher, I am one of those few who can actually say that I make my money through theatre. I started my career in community college and had only briefly worked backstage in a high school production my freshman year. Well, Until I met Dave.

Dave was my Theatre and ASL Teacher in Community College and, the first week of class, pointed at me and informed me that I was the Stage Manager. I loved it! I ended up finding myself drawn towards the lighting aspect of the stage, though, and that’s now what I introduce myself as. I have thought about doing an SM job at some point soon… I digress.

Dave is so amazing, though, beyond just being one of my Teachers. He is Director, Actor, and Writer with titles such as Rescuing Awen, Guild of Immortal Women, and Angakok.

Oh and he likes to float around under water breathing canned air. I only make it sound strange because I am hugely jealous at what he gets to do and see when he is going scuba Diving. More amazing than that, Dave is a PADI instructor at Seattle Scuba who is gay friendly and will teach you in ASL if that’s how you prefer to learn.

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Damn you, Dave.

So, if you want to check out more about my wonderful, director, mentor, fellow actor, and friend, you can check out his website here.

For now, let’s dive into his actual brain in this entry of…

end of MY rope

with David Alan Morrison

1) What do you like to do with your free time?

I have a lot of varied interests. I wish i could chalk it up to being an interesting man, but the truth is more mundane…I’m restless and A.D.D. I spend a lot of time directing community theatre, line dancing and 2-step (country/western dancing). I used to do quite a bit of scuba diving, but a while ago, my apartment burned down and I lost my equipment. I still haven’t replaced it all.
2) Are there any creative projects you are working on right now?

I’ve been doing two things: 1) making edits to my middle-grade book, RESCUING AWEN and 2) outlining a new book I’m working on. Unfortunately it’s going slowly, though. I keep getting hung up on how much (and what kind of) sex to put into a “romance”. (Thoughts, readers?)
3) Tell me about your books.
I would love to do that! I have four books out: a middle-grade book, RESCUING AWEN, a memoire, TRAVELS WITH PENNY; OR, TRUE TRAVEL TALES OF A GAY GUY AND HIS MOM; a Magical Realism, GUILD OF IMMORTAL WOMEN; and ANGAKOK, a gay-themed suspense thriller. RESCUING AWEN is one of my favorites – it’s about a sentient planet that is dying from pollution and ecological disaster. She gives a young Earthling super powers in an attempt to heal her. TRAVELS WITH PENNY is a popular one with women – especially mothers. It centers around coming to grips with the definition of “family” and how it effected my coming out process.
4) Give me the craziest drama you’ve experienced in your theatre career.

So many! Probably doing an original one-act in a local pub – we used the alley in back as our dressing room. Not only embarrassing, but the night it rained, it made for a very wet evening.
5) What is your interpretation of Satanists?

I’m not sure. I haven’t had enough exposure to know. I don’t believe in “hell” or “satan”, so I reject the idea that it is worshiping some kind of “evil spirit”. I also reject that it is akin to what some refer to as “Black Magic”. I think of realists; those who understand that for every YIN there is a YANG and every good deed, there is a bad. Which means Satanists can see the order in chaos; the sanity within the insanity of today’s world. Rather than throw personal power aside and let “Jesus Take The Wheel”, they choose to exercise their power of choice and forge their own way amongst the fucked up-ness we see around us. Am I right? What do I win? (Five Starts for Dave: 𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐)
6) Do you have a religion you subscribe to?
I follow a belief system most people call “Pagan”. It’s actually a combination of traditional Paganism and Taoism . I believe that there is a series of events that we have no control over, as life is a complex combination of the fates of all humans. That belief, mixed up a devout belief that humanity is tied to our Earth – makes for an interesting lifestyle.
7) Which celebrity (dead or alive) is your dream man?

I’m not too picky – I have quite a few of “wanna haves”: although I must admit, 1970’s Burt Reynolds was pretty hot.
8) Tell me your favorite joke.

I can’t – it’s a joke I learned in American Sign Language and has no direct English translation. Besides – jokes are so firmly rooted in culture, that while Deaf people may think it’s hysterical, Hearing people won’t get it.
9) What is the most amazing thing you’ve seen while diving?

An ancient Sea Turtle who floated just feet from me, chowing down on some underwater plants. He seemed totally unfazed by me and my fellow divers. Such grace! The creatures are amazing.
10) What in your life are you most proud of?

I am *tremendously* proud of students who I have taught who have then gone on to great success. Whether it be using their theatre education, or sign language, I fill with pride when I hear from them and they tell me how I helped kick-start their future.

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Dave is really one of the best people I’ve ever met and can either be the nicest person in the world or a total bitch, depending on if he likes you or not. Or if he’s hungry… or hasn’t had a soda for a while… LOVE YOU, DAVE!

That’s it for now, kids! I’ll see you all tomorrow, a day further down the left hand path.

HS!

LH

Families Belong Together

So, if you’re following the news at all you have heard of what’s going on at our southern border. If not, let me give you a little bit of a recap.

NPR states: “Since early May, 2,342 children have been separated from their parents after crossing the Southern U.S. border, according to the Department of Homeland Security, as part of a new immigration strategy by the Trump administration that has prompted widespread outcry.”

The children are taken from the families, though we don’t have information on how or who is taking them, and they are being put in holding areas that are basically cages with few amenities and little time outside.

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Taken from NPR who received it fromU.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Rio Grande Valley Sector via AP

Today I was at DnD with a few of my friends, one of which is a conservative and a Fake Christian. One person who also comes is my Ex, who I’ve spoken about in a previous post, and he is a conservative and a Hardcore Christian. Not long after I arrived today they started chatting about how what is happening at the border is a good thing. They said these people don’t have rights.

I asked for the conversation to stop and was told to shut up.

Wow. Instead of just having a nice night and playing our game, they decided to disrespect me and condone child abuse. So, I left. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit for being a human with a heart. oh, and if you’re wondering, they’re both white dudes.

What amazed me the most in this situation was the total disregard for the philosophy on which they were raised. They claim to want to go to heaven to meet God and to do so they must obey the laws of God. I’m sorry, but I don’t think God is going to be very happy with the people separating families and abusing “His” children.

God wants you to love one another and be kind, if my readings are correct, and Christians always claim to be good people. Yeah? Prove it. Because all I am seeing from your people is hate. Those assholes who love guns are always Christian. The Bible is being used to justify these abhorrent human rights violations.

“Oh, but Lauren, I’M not one of those people and I’m a Christian!” Well, first off, this is an interesting blog for you to read. Second off, you need to do better. You need to speak out LOUDLY for what you do believe instead of allowing these people to represent you.

Let’s pretend for a moment that God is real, just for fun. Let’s also say that Tim and I die at the same time and reach the gates of heaven together, both awaiting judgment. Who do you think will get into heaven? The Christian who never once tried to do anything to benefit the world in any way but thinks child abuse is okay. He jokes often about rape and, as I can tell you from experience, is exactly what you imagine when you think of White Male privilege. Or do you think God will allow in the Satanist who contributed to the world and is doing all she can to make these horrors stop. I can’t do much, but I’m making my voice heard. Call your representatives, kids.

Personally, I think God would send Tim straight to hell. I don’t think “God created the universe” so that some people could be cruel to others. I think God would be livid. Fuck, he’d probably be pissed about borders in general since it’s all one world and we are “all his children”.

But God isn’t real. Nor Allah, nor Thor, nor the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are real. You and I and we have a responsibility to do as much as we can do fix this. Those children are real and they are scared and alone.

So, what happens next? When will we start really fighting back? I get it, I’m sure there’s more I could do, though I don’t have the means at the moment, but as soon as people start taking to the streets, I’m there. As soon as I have the means, I will aid in any way I can. I want to be able to go down there and comfort those babies but I can’t. I want to be able to make it all stop, but I can’t. Not alone.

If all of the atrocities occurring are fine with you then you have a lower moral standard than a Satanist and I’m sure you’re the kind of person who would be pissed by that.

Do good, my Darling Devils.

HS!

LH

It’s Wonderful

One of the things I always envied about religion was the sense of community they had. Each time I would go to church I would see people talking and checking up on each other. When they said “I’ll pray for you”, I heard “I’m here for you”. That was my first mistake because what they meant was “I’ll have you in my thoughts but will personally do nothing to help. Let’s see what the man in the sky does!”

But still! They had a sort of extra family and with how crazy my family is, that sounded pretty great. Still, I didn’t exactly want to meet every Sunday at 7am Bible Study to talk God and all that jazz, so I got a little excited when I found Satanism.

Well, sorta. The Grotto system sounded cool to me at first, but then I realized that they aren’t really a thing anymore. BUT, once I started finding my little group of Internet Satanists, I realized that I was able to find people who supported me and would share ideas with me and who would debate with me over various topics.

My community got even larger as I started this blog and began to interview people. I love presenting these amazing Satanists to you so that they can be held up as a positive example of the religion we share. Each one of them shows how two Satanists are alike and we come to the Church of Satan in out own way. It’s wonderful.

So, with my little speech out of the way, here’s the latest entry in…

end of MY rope

Welcome, to Warlock Jeff Bowling!

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HAHA I found this on twitter for I am a wizard!

1) How long have you been a Satanist?

I know it has become a cliché to say that one is born a Satanist but, I honestly believe that. My entire life I have lived by the philosophy that is Satanism. For many years I did not know that was what I was doing, it just came naturally. As I grew, matured and studied more, those ideas became more firm in my mind. Then, in 1999, I finally read “The Satanic Bible” by Anton Szandor LaVey. Everything clicked almost instantly. I realized that there was at least one other person on the planet who thought like me, who viewed the world through the same lens I did. I knew then, that I was a Satanist and haven’t looked back since. When I turned 18, I joined the Church of Satan, and haven’t looked back from that either.

2) Have you received any backlash professionally from people finding out?

No, I haven’t.

I have always been smart about “tucking the Baphomet” in professional circles. There was simply never a reason for anyone I worked with, to know. Occasionally, people would find out through various means, or I would let them in on the open secret for one reason or another but, by that point I had developed a solid, unassailable reputation in whatever place of employment I was in, and it was more of an interesting talking point than anything that someone would hold against me. The one exception to that was when I was enlisted in the Army. I ended up leading an “alternative” religious group in Baghdad, Iraq and because of that role, my Chain of Command had to be brought up to speed. Fortunately, the officers and NCOs I worked under were true professionals and did not have a negative thing to say, nor did they hold me back in anyway.

These days, my career is almost solely focused on entertainment such as: music, acting, wrestling, etc. In this case, it has actually become beneficial to be known as a Satanist so, ever the opportunist, I cash in on that every chance I get. This has also opened the door for me to be more publicly involved with the Church of Satan, which is why my name and face have been popping up so frequently over the last few years.

3) What would you name a camel if you had one for a pet?

I always end up naming my pets after famous cartoon, comic book or video game characters. So, I think I’d name my camel “Joseph” after Joe Camel (or Old Joe, as he was originally known) from the Camel cigarette ads.

4) Are you working on any creative projects at the moment?

Let’s see, currently, I am:
– Writing new music for my punk/metal band Slave to Reality

– Working on the debut album, short film and some other things for my solo multimedia project Embrace the Forbidden

– Recording the first set of interviews for a new storytelling podcast specifically for outsiders called “Historia Infernalis”

 

– Collaborating with the fine folks in The Satanic Players Society as the opportunity arises (If you ever need an amazing Lighting Designer, hit me up)

and, a few other writing and film projects that are not ready to be announced yet.

In addition to those purely creative projects, I also:

– Co-host “Good Mourning America” (a Satanic perspective on politics and current events) on the Third Side Network

and,
– Co-host “Study, Not Worship” (an in-depth look at the Church of Satan canon) which is coming soon

Another project I am currently working on, that I am the most proud of, is the Infernal Legion. The IL is a veterans service organization made up solely of Satanic veterans and run by Church of Satan members. Born on Veterans Day last year, our goal is to provide service, support and camaraderie to service members, veterans and their families, with a special emphasis on those veterans who are also Satanists, or the “Elite Among the Alien Elite” as we call them.

I obviously like to stay busy.

5) Describe a powerful Lesser Magic moment.

When I was fresh out of the Army, there was a job I really wanted through a private security contractor. While I had a decent resume, I did not have the experience the company wanted for this particular position. So, I applied for a lower position but intentionally designed my resume to make me look overqualified. Then, I spent two weeks investigating the interviewer. I found out every little detail I could about her, and turned myself into what I imagined she would see as the perfect candidate for the position I was secretly going for. By the end of the interview, I had not only been offered the job I wanted (experience be damned) but, I had also gotten her personal contact information and set up a date for a week later.

6) What is your dream house?

This is actually a pretty difficult question to answer. There are houses that I love looking at, such as Old Victorian homes, castles, unique mansions, etc. I especially love anything with hidden rooms, multiple wings and odd angles. I also love the idea of isolation. A beautiful little cabin in the woods, or a hut on a beach somewhere. However, I am a wanderer at heart. The idea of settling down somewhere permanently, is almost unthinkable. There is always somewhere else to go, something else to see, another adventure to be had. I cannot really see a house in my imagination that I would say, “Yes, that! I would be happy there forever!” So, I guess my dream house would be a fully-loaded, top of the line RV, so that I can keep on rolling to the next town, state or country when I feel the call of the road.

7) Tell me about your last nightmare.

 

I think it is important to note that I like scorpions. They are incredible little creatures and I am not the least bit scared of them. However, the last nightmare I had involved an entire army of scorpions.

I had found myself in an abandoned house that did not seem the least bit familiar. Myself and some of my close friends were all there together. We were doing repairs, painting, laying new carpet, a total renovation project. I don’t know if someone was moving into this house, or we were all working as contractors, I’m not really sure what the story was with that but, there we were, renovating this house.

I was in the process of tearing down a wall with a sledgehammer. The first strike barely cracked the drywall, which is obviously weird. The second cause it to splinter a little bit more. I set the sledgehammer down and peered into the crack to find out what the wall was made of.

Out of the crack came a tiny, brown scorpion with a red streak across its back. I thought it was really odd, I called out to let everyone know what I had found but, I could not take my eyes off of this scorpion. I kept trying to get a closer look.

One of my fellow laborers called out from the other side of the room, “What did you find?” I looked over and told him, then turned my attention back to the scorpion. Apparently, that action had pissed it off. It had turned to face me, claws open, tail ready to strike. It was at this time that I realized the red streak was actually a sash of some sort.

It tried to sting me and I jumped back. Then the wall practically exploded. The crack ripped open and thousands of these brown scorpions poured out. There were small ones and large ones, all brown and all wearing red sashes. My friend cursed and ran, I followed him, grabbing the sledgehammer on my way out.

As we made our way to the next room, I noticed cracks forming on all the walls, and scorpions beginning to make their way out of them. We joined up with the rest of the party and tried to get out of the house but, the doors and windows wouldn’t open and the scorpions were advancing on us.

I took up a defensive position, ready to swing the sledgehammer and stomp as many of them as I could.

Then I woke up. It was a really strange dream but, unless the next scorpion I see is wearing a red sash, I don’t think I really have anything to worry about.

8) How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

My Birthday usually ends up being about a 3 week event. It varies every year but, I always try to schedule a show because I love performing. I also go to the movies, eat out quite a bit and bar hop like crazy. The marathon usually ends with a few friends and I sitting around a fire pit, nursing hangovers and swapping stories.

9) Do you think being a Satanist changes how you drive?

Hahaha! I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t know what driving as a non-Satanist is like so, I can’t say for certain but, there is certainly no more appropriate time for Rule #11 to be in effect. Honestly

though, I drive the same way I walk or ride a bike, with a purpose. I have somewhere to be, so do you. We have to share this piece of road at the moment, so let’s not get in each other’s way.

10) What is something you’d like Non-Satanists to know about Satanists?

Well, there is the normal stuff like we don’t sacrifice babies or animals, we don’t believe in Satan as an anthropomorphic deity, etc. To be quite honest though, that information has been publicly available since 1966. There are hundreds of books, interviews, podcasts, essays, public statements and other ways to find out about what Satanism isn’t. Do some research.

If there is one thing I think it is important for non-Satanists to understand, it is that we don’t want to convert them. My worldview is mine alone. I don’t care what they do at their church (or other place of worship), and I have no desire to show them what happens in my ritual chamber. You either are a Satanist, or you are not, and the odds are highly in favor of the latter.

Other than that, to paraphrase Magus Gilmore, I wish them all the best on their path in life, I know I’m certainly happy on mine.

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Keep supporting each other, my lovelies. I don’t even mean just Satanists- Lift up those who are trying to change the world for the better.

HS!

LH

I Read a Book (Part 1/2)

So, I was sent two books and I was going to cover both in one post, but I just finished the first and I HAVE to talk about it RIGHT NOW.

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Read it. Now.

I loved this book for so, so many reasons and I tried to keep track of it all as I was reading in my little bits of spare time. Unholy crap it is wonderful.

Just a little background: This was sent to me by Logospilgrim, a writer with a degree in Religious Studies, which sounds like a really interesting field. If you want to pick up this book and others, check out her website Logospilgrim.com.

So, to be honest, I went into this blind and couldn’t tell right away if this was fiction or nonfiction. The reason why I thought it might be fiction was because it almost read as if it were an account of an angel of God who had escaped and turned towards Satan. Seriously, it’s really good.

It became clear to me quickly that this was not a work of fiction and then I fell in love with the text in a whole new way. First off, it reads more as Prose Poetry than anything else, which I love because it allows the words to take on new power. In the areas of self-acceptance, the words are pleasing in mouth feel and are sonically kind.  They tend to lean towards the multi-sylballic romantic. When talking about religions and abuse, the words become sharp and hard, living in the short, Anglo-Saxon area of the vocabulary.

The book speaks on behalf in the necessity of the Seven Deadly Sins in life and how allowing yourself to indulge in each is the key to feeling free to be yourself. It blurs the lines between abuse and religions, drawing comparisons between God and a person who is mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Also a perfect Alien reference thrown in there, which is great.

The influence of Anton LaVey can’t be denied as one reads through a beautiful account of learning to re-accept and love yourself. If you’re playing with the idea of Satanism or are a Satanist and you’re also dealing with abuse or learning to heal now that you’re free, I recommend this book with all my heart. As I have said in previous posts, I was abused, and I see my story, like I know so many others will, as I read this books. I also see my healing and my path to becoming even more whole.

So, thank you, Logos, for sharing this story with me. I can’t wait to get to the next one. Her Infernal Interview will accompany the next review.

To Vital Existence.

HS!

LH

 

IMPORTANT EDIT: If you are in an abusive relationship or need help of ANY KIND, you can probably find a service on this List of Hotlines. It may be scary or hard, but the first step in these situations are always hard, but the first step needs to happen.

I’m Not Afraid

Recently, during our little chat, Reverend Campbell asked me if I was at all nervous about being an “out” Satanist, if you will, since I work with kids and have what may is a sensitive position as a teacher. What I mean by an “out” Satanist is that you guys know my name. It’s attached to this blog, as well as other Satanic blogs and sites, which means if you Google me, Satan shit will pop up along with my tiny IMDB page. This has been an issue for people in the past because the masses have a very negative perception of the Church of Satan. Why? Well, because they think that Satan is evil and represents anything they consider “bad”.

So, am I afraid that I will be fired or thrown out of my family because I am a Satanist? No. I’m not. I’m not afraid of work “finding out” (as if it were something I should be ashamed of) because I know they won’t find anything wrong. I don’t bring my Satanic Bible or other literature to school with me; I hide my Sigil of Baphomet necklace when I am around my students and other educators; and I don’t talk about Satanism with any family or colleagues. I don’t feel like religion is an appropriate topic for work, especially a public school, and I also don’t want to take the time to have to explain that I don’t pray to the actual devil.

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Borrowed from Church of Satan website… I can give it back if you want

But, let’s say that a parent did see that I write this blog and decides to contact the school with a complaint. What would happen? Well, I hope that my Principal would take the time to talk to me first so that I can explain all of this to him personally. I don’t want to be seen as somebody who kills animals and kids to summon an all-powerful fire daddy to do my bidding because I’m not. At the same time, there’s nothing my school could legally do.

The Washington State Religious Discrimination Laws state that “This type of discrimination entails making employment decisions based upon someone’s faith, or lack thereof. This could be refusing to hire an employee because he or she is a Seventh-Day Adventist or Orthodox Jew and observes a Saturday Sabbath; firing an employee after he or she misses work to observe a religious holiday […]

This makes me feel a lot more secure in my job because the school doesn’t want to deal with any legal backlash. I would never take any legal action, but they don’t know that and probably don’t want to risk it. The parents, on the other hand, can simply decide to take their kids out of my class if they are really that ridiculous, but the students would probably throw a fit. They like me.

When it comes to my family, I am even less worried. The only person I need by my side is my Mom and I know she wouldn’t give a shit and a half as long as I’m not in danger. Throughout my whole life she has made it very clear that religion is a personal decision and, while she is agnostic, she will understand and support me. I plan on telling her sometime soon, just not when my Dad is around.

Dad is a Fake Christian. This means he used to go to church every Sunday as a child and now goes maybe once every three years and that’s only if he gets invited to a Christmas service or some shit. He would be very upset to find out I’m a Citizen of the Infernal Empire and that’s totally fine with me. My Dad wasn’t really a part of my life for 17 years so if he finds out and decides not to talk to me for a few years, I’ll be okay. He would eventually get over himself, but it might take a while, and that’s okay.

Other family members would stop talking to me all together. To be honest, these aren’t the people I even want to be a part of my life.  They’re judgmental, pushy, and racist and they do it all while hiding behind the guise of Christianity and Jesus. Besides, I don’t like going to church with them or bowing my hair in fake prayer just to eat their shitty dinners.

So, long story short, no, I’m not afraid of people finding out I’m a Satanist because it will weed out the assholes for me. I have Hindu friends/family and Christian friends/family and Atheist friends/family and Agnostic friends/family and more. If they can’t have one person in their lives who is a Satanist, they can see themselves out.

Remember, even if you feel abandoned and alone, you always have me, my sweet Little Lucifers.

HS!

LH

God Failed Me.

I know God isn’t real so the title of this blog might seem a little strange but it is going to make sense in the end. If you watched my recent video with Reverend Campbell you might remember me saying that I had only been a Satanist for about a year and a half now and a Citizen of the Infernal Empire since February 2018.

I’ve been thinking about these answers and figures and I realize that I need to elaborate a little bit. So, I think it’s time to tell you guys a story. It’s a sad story, but it has a happy ending. It’s going to cover a lot of ground, but I promise it won’t be too long.

My parents met in late in 1992 when my Mom was on her way to Dairy Queen and Dad was out driving with his friend. He was in Washington State for the Navy and was out looking for a party when he was blonde hair in a car and thought she might be going to one. Well, when they got to DQ, they met, and it must have been love at first sight because I was born during April 1994. My parents got married not long after finding out Mom was pregnant and not long after I was born my parents moved back to Pennsylvania where my Dad is from.

A year after that, my parents got a divorce. To be totally honest, I don’t know exactly why. Mom has said things like they were too young and were in different places in life and crap like that, but I know better. My Dad was too young to be a Dad and Mom had to step up and do it all. She did just that. My Mom is a bad ass woman and it might be easy to blame the rest of this story on her, but I don’t and if you say something bad about my Mom I will freak out. She’s an amazing woman and everything I hope to be one day.

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Christmas a few years ago

So, Mom and I went back to Washington to be with her side of the family. She worked a lot and my grandma would take care of me or my aunt or family friends. Mom had a few short-term boyfriends who I don’t remember after my Dad, but they never worked out. Then she met a person who we will call Sam.

Mom was with Sam for 17 of my 19 years and Sam is the father of my Half-Sister and Half-Brother. I love those kids so much and am thankful they are here; Don’t forget that during the rest of this story.

Sam abused my Mom and I. After my Sister was born, everything changed with him. He started drinking all night, every night. He drove us to Christmas dinner after drinking a fifth of vodka. He gambled away our money until we got evicted from house after house after house. Mom used to have to take us an hour away to find him because he was too drunk and out of money. One time, when my Dad called, Sam picked up and told him his daughter had two black eyes.

Sam once forced me to pee my pants. He refused to let me use a toilet and then laughed at me and made me clean it up and then worse. Then my sweet little brother was born. Nothing changed. I have internal and external scars from Sam that I will always carry. There were many times when I thought I was going to die and sometimes that was okay.

I have a semi-religious family. They took me to church sometimes, mostly when I was back east, and while I was never a Christian, I did try to reach God. When I was locked in a closet all day, I prayed all day. After a knife cut a deep, red line across my skin, I prayed until the bleeding stopped. I was desperate and alone and I was willing to try anything, so I prayed.

Nothing happened. Nothing changed. My Mom was the one who saved me in the end because she had taken enough. She had been trying to do her best for my little Brother and Sister, but she knew nothing would be good for them if she were dead. I had also finally told her the extend of the abuse I had faced at Sam’s hand. She had no idea.

In the middle of the night one night, we grabbed everything and we left. We took the animals and enough clothing to get us through a week. I went to school though nobody else went to their normal activities because school was a haven for me, even though I had to worked through abuse from me peers there. I worked my ass of and ended up going to college during school because I knew I needed to succeed. That would mean I had won.

Not long after all this, my Mom married my Dad again and they are still married to this day. It was a hard transition for my Sister and Brother, as well as myself, because we were all on edge. I’m still hand-shy. Sam tried his best to break us, though. He got us evicted and lied so my Dad would lose his job. I was, for some reason, followed by the police because of him.

But we are here now and we have all won. I am a teacher and a professional Lighting Designer. My Mom works in the same school district as I do and Dad is a tower crane operator. My sister is going to WSU and my Brother is my student so I can check his grades and he is currently getting all A’s.

Sam works at a casino, which is fine, but also has 3 DUIs and is massively in debt. Well, I think he should have 3 but only has 1 because he wiggled his way out of them.

We won.

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Dad, Me, and Mom on my birthday a year ago

What I am trying to get at here is that I’ve always been a Satanist, even when I was praying in a closet for hours. It madam realize that the only person who can save you is yourself. You can get help from friends and family like I did, but you have to ask and you have to make it known you need help. I kept myself alive and anybody who tries to tell me God helped can kiss my clitoris because it was me; Me and My Mom and my family.

I’m not looking for sympathy or tears here because I’ve had a wonderful life thus far. I’ve traveled the country in 18-wheeler trucks and learned to bowl in Wyoming. The guy who taught me had 3 fingers and that’s all he could do anymore. I’ve seen more stars in the sky than I could even imagine because I was so far out in the middle of nowhere. I taught myself a piece of My Heart Will Go On while in Florida on the edge of a hurricane. I’ve seen Hamilton! I get to be a teacher and be in love with my Best Friend. I get to have a wonderful family who will always love me. I get to live in the most beautiful state in the USA. I’ve traveled in tug boat and have flown in so many airplanes that I can feel us starting our decent before the pilot even announces it.

Yeah, I’ve had a wonderful life. I’ve done a lot already and I’m only 24! I can’t wait to see where I take myself next in life.

Hae a great rest of your Sunday, my Sweet Satanists!

HS!

LH

It Has Been a Crazy Week

So, as I’ve said before, I’m a teacher and right now we are getting down to the end of the school year which means there’s a lot of work for teachers to do on top of the regular teaching and such that we all do.

That means that by the time I get home at the end of the day, all I want to is hang out with my cats and maybe go on a walk if I can find the energy.  This is why I haven’t posted in a few days. I’m tired.

I think it’s important to take a step back from your personal projects from time to time in order to keep yourself sane and give your best self to whatever work you have to do. It’s like Ron Swanson said, “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing”.

Plus, I need to make sure I am happy. I need to take care of me. This is something I think more people need to work on since we are always trying to please others and we end up killing ourselves for our coworkers and friends.

So, with all that being said, I give you the newest installment of…

end of MY rope

 

Today, our victim is Warlock Hyde! I couldn’t find a picture of his face so I Facebook stalked him and pulled his profile picture!

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See?
1) Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Well, I’m pretty well established both professionally and personally, so in 10 years, I don’t know that I really want things to change drastically. I’d say I’ll be in the same field only in a higher position. My kids will all have grown by that point, so I expect I’ll have more time for personal hobbies like travel, writing, and my art.
2) How do you respond to those who react negatively to you affiliation with the Church of Satan?

I find that those people are few and far between. Mainly because I don’t flaunt my affiliation so only close friends know it and the type of friends I attract are eclectic to say the least.

Outsiders to my circle generally think I’m a bit of an oddball or a kook, but I’m genial and on good terms with most of those as well.

 

3) What do you like to do to unwind after a long day?

I read. I write. I draw. I spend time with my family and dogs. I play board games and watch movies. I occasionally smoke my pipe if the weather outside is nice.

 

4) If you could trade lives with somebody for a day, would you do it and who would you switch with? 
Trading implies that whoever I switch with would be in my shoes for a day. So with that as my understanding, then I say I’d rather not. I wouldn’t want someone to bugger up the house that I’ve built. Besides, my life is pretty good, so the only reason I’d trade would be to experience a different time period such as the 1940s music scene.
5) Which of the Nine Satanic Sins do you witness the most each day?
I feel that many of the sins play off of one another. Pretentiousness, lack of perspective, forgetfulness of past orthodoxies, and counter produce pride are rampant if you go online or turn on almost any TV news or talk show. But I think all of those sins could easily fit snugly under the numero uno sin so I’ll backtrack and simply say it’s stupidity that I see almost every single day.
6) Do you have any projects you are working on currently? 
Aside from professional stuff, I am always working on some form of writing project. Right now, it’s short tales in the spirit of Weird Tales magazine. But those are all in fun as I rarely publish any of my works.
7) What fantasy character would you most like to have as a pet?
Ooo! I love animals and fantasy so this is a good one! If I think at length, this could change, but my first instinct is to say Scooby Doo. A semi-talking dog would be such a good (and fun) animal to have around.
8) Tell me your favorite joke. 

A young monk begins a stay at a monastery where he must take a vow of silence, except for once a year when he is able to say only two words to the temple master.

The first year passes in silence. When the monk gets to speak to the master, he says “Bed hard.”

At the end of another year of silence, the monk comes before the master and says “Room cold.”

Then yet another year goes by and this time the obviously irritated young monk comes before the master. This time he simply says “I quit.”

The master replies, “I expected as much. All you’ve done since you arrived is complain.”

 

9) What in your life are you most proud of?
My family. I am unorthodox in my habits. As such, I had concerns in in my young married life that my views wouldn’t be compatible with children. However I’ve found, as Doktor LaVey has noted, children are true magicians and when not dumbed down by society at large, they act according to their own nature. And, at least with my brood, that nature fits nicely in with Satanic tenets (even if my younger kids have little clue what that means).
10) Tell me about a powerful Lesser Magic moment. 
This is probably the trickiest question on the list since I believe that pretty much every interaction that I have (including the writing of these answers) is a bit of lesser magic. That said, I still hold my proudest moment of lesser magic to be the initial attracting of my (then future) wife. I won’t go into specifics but I did a bit of research in finding out her interests in advance, had a few conspirators drop some beguiling rumors about me, and then moved in accordingly. The end result of that venture is now coming up on 20 years and I couldn’t be happier.
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This is just a chicken. Her name is Patty

Well, that’s all for today, kids! I’ve got to go get ready for an assembly for the high schoolers.

Have a nice day and remember that in order to be number 1 you have to be odd!

HS!

LH