The Seven Sins of Christmas (Greed)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, some knock-off apple air pods. But why didn’t he get the real ones?

Yeah, people like to say that Christmas is about Jesus or whatever other Holiday. Others say it’s about family, which it is! But we can’t deny that there is a little monster inside of every one of us that loves to get gifts. We all want things and the idea that somebody might get you something you don’t want to buy yourself is an amazing idea.

two woman hugging each other

Also, quiet down back there Karen, we all know that when you say “I prefer to GIVE gifts!” you actually mean “I hunger for praise and thanks!”, so don’t act like you’re not also a greedy bastard.

I don’t mean to hate on Christmas, I love Christmas. I also really love getting and giving gifts, it’s a big part of the holiday. That doesn’t mean that we can’t also nod and say, Yes, I do want things. There’s nothing wrong with greed as long as it doesn’t control you.

The entire Holiday Season is about eating huge amounts of food! We shovel Thanksgiving Turkey and Christmas Ham into our faces, finishing it off with mashed potatoes and other heavy, fatty foods. It’s amazing.

cake on table

Even here! I said in my last post that I was gonna see you tomorrow but then I didn’t. Why? Greedy with my time. I have stuff to do, it’s halfway to Christmas! So, meet me back here next week when I cover the next Sin of the Season!

I’ll see you later, my Darling Devils!

HS!

LH

It’s Time to Talk about the Real Meaning of Christmas

It’s December and that means the Christmas decorations are up in my household! I’ve got snowflakes hanging fro the ceiling and taped to the windows, lights are up, and a tree will be coming into the house shortly.

macro shot photography of christmas stockings ornament on a christmas tree

Christmas is on of my favorite holidays all year for a few reasons. For one thing, it’s basically Thanksgiving 2.0 at my family’s various parties because we all make the same dishes. What’s great is that the family is so large, we end up having a party for half the family on Christmas Eve, a smaller party Christmas Day with the closer family, and then a final party that night with other half of the family. Each of these parties has the traditional foods and rituals we all follow year after year. They’ve evolved slightly, but have largely remained the same.

shallow focus photography of green christmas tree

Now, I know that some Satanists take pains to go against anything that may have been even lightly brushed with the taint of one of the Ahberhamic religions, and that’s fine, they have the right to do that, I just don’t think it’s all that big of a deal if a Satanist says “bless you” or puts a star tree topper up. You wanna know why? Because Christmas isn’t about Jesus anymore. You wanna know what it does celebrate? Say it with me, The Seven Deadly Sins!

adorable animal breed canine
Not my dog, sadly

I know I only recently did a whole look into the sins, but there’s something about Christmas that just gets me all excited for them again! So, I will be looking into each one of the individually and how they pertain to Christmas, that way we can get over ourselves and jump into the holiday! Don’t worry this won’t all be negative because, as I said earlier, I love Christmas. Used to hate it, now I’ve fallen back in love.

I hope everyone out there is safe and sound this holiday season. If any of my readers traditionally don’t do Christmas, then happy that. I don’t know. I’m a white woman from rural Washington, chill.

Have a great day and I’ll see you tomorrow for our first Sin!

HS!

LH

 

We All Have Our Own Step One

Satanism is a religion of bettering ones self and improving the situation in which we find ourselves. That is sometimes on a very personal level, other times it’s global. No matter what, it’s up to you.

man wearing backpack going upstairs

If you were to ask me where I plan on being in whatever amount of years, I might paint a picture of a small house with a job that allows me enough time for hobbies and reaching other personal goals. Asking another Satanist the same question may result in a picture of a second private jet or finally being able to afford to get a tattoo.

The one thing that each of these people has in common is that they are starting up the staircase to achieving a life they’re happy with. That’s what really matters when you look around and take in your life. Are you happy with it? How can I make it better?

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If you’re reading this, you may already be a Satanist and are probably saying “Lauren, I know all of this already”. Well good for you, are you actively engaging in the idea? or maybe “Lauren, you haven’t posted in forever, how dare you?” to which I say, I was busy with other projects.

Does that mean I am happy with where I am right now? No, there’s things I want. I am going to take steps upwards towards these dreams until I am finally exactly where I want to be. Remember, Satan is a fictional, external representation of ones best self, free from Abrahamic Religions.

It’s good to speak to you, my Darling Devils.

HS!

LH

Misery is Bliss

The lights dim and smoke rolls through the room as a ghost-like bride leads a grim groom to the stage as she swings a puffing thurible. They sit, a ghostly light casting sharp shadows upon their faces. The show begins.

TWF1
The Main Events

This is the beginning of the end that is The Wedding Funeral, a show that is touring across The United States and leaving misery (read as joy) in its wake. Seriously, this show made me smile, gave me chills, and, at one point, made my eyes water. I was amazed.

The theatrics enhanced the music and the music seamlessly meshed with the design. Darren’s mastery of the guitar matched with Ethel’s haunting saws creates an atmosphere that, alone, would tickle the senses. Then starts the lyrics I am completely entranced with the music that is meeting my ears. I had never heard anything like it.

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Cutest Couple in the World award winners 2019

The Wedding Funeral made me feel as though I was in a Broadway production, a Ritual Chamber, and a Rock Concert all at the same time and I cannot recommend it enough. If it’s coming within 100 miles of you, I expect you to go and let me know what you think.

Thank you, Darren and Ethel, for bringing this beautiful music to the world. Hail you both!

HS!

LH

 

The Floor is LAVA

abstract active ash color

You remember that game some kids would play where you’d have to get somewhere or something without touching the floor? When’s the last time you played that game? Or any other game from your childhood?

At some point during our lives, we decided that games of imagination were below us somehow and decided to stop playing them. We’re told to grow up and act our age.

Well, I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit and the floor is lava. I was out with my friends last night and we ended the night at the bar that my Boyfriend’s sister owns. It was just five of us in there, all scattered around the bar, so, without thinking, I yelled “THE FLOOR IS LAVA”.

Guys, I wish you could have seen the looks of confusion and excitement that painted the faces of the companions. We shouted at each other when they were in “danger” and came up with ways to work together and get people to the safe point. It was an amazing time and when it was over, we all felt like we had just been transported back to age 12 and our moms were about to come tell us it was time to go. But we’re all in our mid-twenties to thirties, so we took a shot and played air hockey instead.

Am I saying go out there and be a dick or whine at people? NO! All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t let your childhood go.

AND THE FLOOR IS LAVA

HS!

LH

I Interview a Satanist Renewed

Good evening, my lovelies. Since it is going into spring time, I began to think about growth and new beginnings. Spring time is when animals start having their new babies and trees start getting new buds on their branches. With this idea of growth and renewal in mind, I decided to interview a member of the Church of Satan who is going through a process of redefining and growing into themselves. Put your hands together for a friend of I’m a Satanist And… Gwen!

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Stolen from Facebook (Wonderful picture) 

All that being said, I am so very thankful to Gwen for being the latest installment in…

end of MY rope

1) How’s life?

Better than I could have ever imagined since starting to transition, I didn’t know what I was missing out on!

2) Have you had any interesting or exciting experiences since starting transitioning? 

More “funny” than interesting, I’ve had people not notice the physical changes, despite them being very obvious (along with me wearing female clothing etc).
One conversation I basically asked them if they’d noticed the changes, they said “your hair is longer?” – and I had to point at my tits (seriously) until they clicked that it was more than just hair being longer.
I was wearing a long flowing dress at the time too…..
3) Will how you celebrate your birthday change this year? 
I haven’t decided fully yet, but something to do with 32-bit computing and femaleness – I’m still a geek at heart
4) What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day? 
Coding something (currently working on an OS kernel), a bit of gaming or TV – often with a nice cold drink and a snack.
5) What do you say to Satanists who are anti-LGBTQA+? 
“You aren’t Satanists” – seriously, people who don’t get that obviously never read LaVey’s work.
6) What did you grow up masterbating to? (Reader submitted: feel free to submit your own in the comments!) 
I plead the 5th!
Ok, a few random girls I liked in school (sidenote: that held me back for years, I thought i couldn’t be trans cos I liked girls) and Sarah Michelle Gellar and a few other random celebs.
7) What’s the biggest change in your daily life thus far since beginning to transition?
Practical stuff mainly – taking my HRT meds (not a big change really, I already swallowed a bunch of nootropics and supplements daily for health reasons), different clothing, and applying makeup if I’m going out somewhere.
8) Has your relationship with the Church of Satan changed since your began the transition process? 
Not yet, I haven’t got a formal diagnosis of gender dysphoria yet, once I have that i’ll be applying for a new card.
9) What’s the stupidest driving law in the place in which you (generally) live? 
Not a clue, I don’t drive.
10) What is your favorite guilty pleasure song you would never admit to anyone else? (Reader submitted: feel free to submit your own in the comments!)
hmm……
crawling by Linkin park – edgy emo teenage crap, but I first heard it when I was a very emo teenager, and if you watch the video it kinda makes sense why I related to it……..
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I hope you are all having a great day and enjoyed this installment in The Infernal Interviews! I’ll see you soon, my darlings.
HS!
LH

Here’s What I Listen to

I like to listen to music. I know this is a very bland statement because EVERYBODY likes to listen to some sort of music, but it’s true. Music in the shower; in the car on the way to work; at work sometimes; when I go on my ten-mile walks; anywhere I can listen to music, to do. It helps me process my emotions and sometimes allows me to pretend I’m in a music video, which is a lot of fun.

Now, I thought about doing my “Top Ten Favorite Satanic Songs” but then I realized two things. 1) I don’t know/enjoy that many Satanic songs and 2) I am of the opinion that every song is Satanic. Yes, even Christian music. I love advent music and will often listen to Amazing Grace around the Holidays, as well as others, because I enjoy the memories that accompany the music. I consider a song Satanic as long as I, a Satanist and God of my own universe, like it.

audience band concert crowd

So, without further ado, here are my Top Ten Favorite Songs (at the moment) in…

Lauren’s Top Picks*

(*Links in the titles)

10) Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd  

I love this song because it is just so much fun to sing to! Now, I never seek this song out, but instead wait for the radio station to play it because then it feels like more of a treat. I can’t really say exactly what I love about this song other than it’s fun to sing to in the car. If it comes on at the clurb, I sing to it, but I’m not sure how to dance to it other than to square dance and I won’t do that. (Sorry if you like to square dance. You do you, boo).

9) Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm by The Crash Test Dummies 

This song is really special to me because my Mom used to put it on in the car to get me to fall asleep when I was a baby. She said the feeling of the car (or laundry basket on the dryer) combined with the low voice of Brad Roberts would make me pass right out. I still have a hard time listening to this song in the car at night because it’ll make me feel sleepy.

8) My Shot in the Hamilton Soundtrack by Lin-Manuel Miranda

I adore this song because it is so much fun to listen to and it’s all about doing your damn best. What could be more Satanic than that!? These young men are about to go to war and they’re imagining what they could do to change the world for the better. They want to be the best that they can be. Plus it’s rap! What is more fun than a rap musical about the founding of the United States?

7) Bodak Yellow by Cardi B

This may seem as if it’s coming out of left field, but I really love this song for how empowering it is. It’s all about how Cardi doesn’t have to be a dancer anymore and gets to live her best life, free of what those who are jealous of her might think. One of my favorite lines is an allusion to the shoes she is wearing which she says are “red bottoms”. Now, I don’t pay a lot of attention to fashion, but I do know that this is referring to Christian Louboutin shoes which have red bottoms and are known to be REALLY EXPENSIVE. Like, $800+ expensive. That’s my rent!

adult beautiful blur casual

6) Jukebox Hero by Foreigner 

Oh, what a classic, am I right? I love listening to this one because it’s a great song overall. Wonderful beat, fun guitar (obviously), and a really great story! I didn’t really listen to the lyrics at first, instead enjoying the song as a whole. Then I really listened and realized it was even more amazing than I had thought! It’s about this kid who can’t afford to get into a concert and then ends up becoming a rock star through hard work. Can I get a Hail Satan?

5) Rental by Deadly D

Man oh man do I love this song. Please pardon that the video I linked to is a live version, I can’t find one that isn’t, but it’s on the CD in my car so I know it’s out there. I love this song because it’s freaking funny. Another reason I like this song so much is that I know the guys. I was, honestly, expecting that they would be sucky because it seems most people who want to show you their music are actually mediocre, but I ended up loving every song! Fun fact: I was allowed the honor of singing a verse of this song with them a few days ago!

4) You should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish

Gotta say, the music video for this song caught me before the actual song because she has damn spiders running all over her. I was amazed and sickened and couldn’t look away. But the song itself is really good. You can tell what the song is about from the title, but I found it really fun to listen to as I was walking around my town because it let me pretend to be in my own movie/music video. Yes, I am laughing at myself right along with you.

3) Year Zero by Ghost BC

I feel powerful when I listen to this song. Yes, this is the first song on the list that would be considered Satanic and also the first band to get me into Satanism. I know Ghost is sometimes considered First Phase, but screw off, I really like driving down the road, singing “HAIL SATAN” at the top of my lungs. I adore a lot of songs by Ghost, but this one is my favorite out of all of them, for sure.

man using brown and black electric guitar while singing
What I think I look like in the car

2) Killer Queen by Queen

So, this song is interesting because it’s about how high-class people can also be sluts, which I think is wonderful. I don’t think Freddie Mercury is casting this in a negative light, though, as the woman in the song sounds freaking amazing. I like to joke that I’m going to walk down the aisle to this song if I get married one day. Mom doesn’t think that’s very funny.

1) Lighting Crashes by Live 

Damn, what a song. This is another song that used to be a lullaby for me. I would fall asleep when this came on and can sometimes still feel sleepy, just like The Crash Test Dummies song from before. The reason I picked this one over that for the top spot, though, is because I’ve also had some wonderful memories become attached to it as I’ve grown up. I was the only one in my history class to know the song and my teacher thought that I was cheating because I knew what song it was by the first two chords. My favorite memory of this song, though, was when I slow danced to it in a bar. He wasn’t a very good dancer, but I was so happy in that moment and I will carry that feeling with me for the rest of my life.

Well, I hope you liked some of the songs on here and might give a listen to a few that you don’t know! I’d like to say, too, that these are subject to change from day-to-day, just based on my mood and such. I tried to give you a comprehensive list, but I’m sure I missed a few because I’m not in the right mood to even think about them.

So, what are some of your favorite songs, my Darling Devils?

HS!

LH