I just watched a BuzzFeed Video.

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The video is called “We Practiced Magic With A Real Witch“.

To be frank, I was not impressed. The first thing I noticed that caused my nose to twitch was the title of the video itself. “A real Witch”… Hmm. “Real”? Later in the video they say that it is a misconception to link Witches to the Satanic, but that’s not quite right. One of the women they feature in the video as one of their “Real” witches is named Laurie Lovekraft. I assume that this is a pseudonym created for her equal love of Lovecraft and Kraft Mac-n-Cheese. This is where I noticed the next thing that bugged me. Under her name, the description banner read “Priestess and Magick Practitioner for 30 years”. Three words into that sentence and those familiar with Satanism, especially regarding Anton LaVey, would be chuckling. If they’re on my wavelength, they’ll be thinking of a very memorable quote from our founder.

“Those who spell Magic with a ‘K’ aren’t” – Anton LaVey.

When I try to think of the best way to describe the difference between the Satanic definition of Magic and “Magick” (Or even alternate definitions of magic) is this: To me, we are causing the magic. Either in our Lesser Magic abilities on a daily basis, or taking all the steps we possibly can in order to achieve out goal that the only possible next step is to perform a ritual and rid ourselves of anxiety in order to focus our energy on more productive activities. In saying this, I also will say that magic has historically been used in place of the name of future scientific discoveries. Gravity was magic. Fire was magic. Childbirth was magic. I mean, it still is, but in a different way. I digress…

My next head tilt came during the section called “Basic Ideology” in which it stated that “Many have an Ethical Code”. MANY?!?!

Covens. Sounds like a bored (and boring) house wives. My coven consists of my cats and my boyfriend. We had a fish but he died recently. (RIP Drogon).

Then they had all these candles and herbs and crystals and oils and food and UGH I’ve been to Catholic Mass and they had less fucking props. I must say that I do see the similarities in the rituals, which is not something that surprised me. If you’re interested in what a Satanic Ritual looks like, I suggest this video. I’ve watched it a few times now and find something new in it each viewing.

The CONE OF POWER made me literally laugh out loud because it seems like something an anime character would shout while striking a suggestive pose. I’m not sure what the CONE OF POWER is for, really, other than powering up your magic in the cone shape (best for magick???). I really don’t get it.

They say the believe in “The Lord and The Lady” and that the Christian version of God isn’t even believed in. As I watched it, I wondered why they would bother to protect themselves from His demons then?

Gotta say, loved the ale and eating portion. I would attend one of these things just for the food and drink. Just as I did with other faiths over the years. I love food.

The end note of HUZZAH made me think of high school biology. (Go Lakewood!!!) This is not a good thing for a ritual.

All in all, everything about this was hilarious. I’ve done rituals a few times now and Satanic Rituals are way more honest and WAY COOLER!

Watch the video and tell me what you think, Hell Raisers.

Hail Satan and Much love