I Love Halloween

Hey, guys, what’s up! I hope you had a wonderful and safe night last night. I know mine was absolutely amazing. It started at 6am PST and I got back home at exactly midnight because, like in Cinderella, I will turn into a grumpy old man after that. It’s bedtime.

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This Halloween ended up being quite the rollercoaster. I learned a lot, too. I learned a lot about the work ethic that has been instilled in some of my students and also that of their parents. I learned about that some parents are really shitty examples for their kids and that’s why they’re really shitty kids in class. I learned why some kids lose their magic. It was a really interesting, eye-opening experience this year.

Let me tell you about my night.

I am a teacher in a small school and I have my own two-story building of which I am in charge. Due to the fact that I have this massive theatre to my disposal, I am able to put on a Haunted House. This was the second year and we had it set up where there were three ways to get through a section of the attraction: One tunnel where you had to crawl; One tunnel where it was so dark that you couldn’t see; One tunnel where you were blinded by flashing lights before getting on an elevator and going down. Then you either went through the Halloween room or the IT room, funneled through  a few more and then out past the chainsaw clown.

It was very simple and nicely signed so that there was no way to screw it up. Well, except the feckers who wanted to screw it up. The ones who didn’t want to play along. I gotta say, why did you come? Why come pay money to get into a Haunted House put on by the school if you were going to break stuff, hide, go off course, ruin scares for others, and generally screw around? It doesn’t make it fun and you become the person nobody wants to hangout with.

Think back on some of your favorite Halloween memories. For me, its times when everybody was playing along. If that’s willing to be scared at a Haunted House and enjoying that feeling of fear, it’s more fun when everybody suspends their disbelief and allows themselves to feel like they’re going to die! One little girl last night said to herself “Is this how I’m going to spend the last moments of my life?” and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

For me, that was the most annoying part of the night because it was ruining my fun, too. You’re in MY house and you paid me to scare you… LET ME SCARE YOU!

My next biggest issue was people with shitty work ethics. I had two kids leave during the show and one didn’t even tell me. I learned when I saw him walking away and confronted him. The other got too tired from sitting on the steps making creepy sounds. Seriously. Then 8 students who gave me slips saying they were coming didn’t show up, so I had far less actors, and therefore scares, to work with. I was livid. We pulled it off and had grown women crying, but it could have been so much better if these kids were true to their word. I’m going to call them out on it, too, because it ruined something with my name on it. We were on the front page of the paper, above the fold, and I feel like I gave a sub par performance. That’s my name. That’s my reputation as a teacher and a theatre professional.

 

The worst case of abandonment was when two sisters (twins) approached me the day before the Haunted House. They were supposed to be the girls from The Shining and had even purchased the outfits. One of the girls came up to me and told me that they weren’t going to be able to do the Haunted House because it was their last Halloween. What? I was so confused. Were they dying? No. Apparently their parents decided that they can’t go trick-or-treating once they’re teenagers and they were 12. 12! I didn’t stop collecting candy until I was, like, 15 and even after that I still went with my family and the other kids. It was Halloween where I could stay up late, eat candy, scare people, and be weird. Don’t take that away from your kids. It’s a special time and it keeps them being creative and allowing themselves to be, well, themselves for a night. Truly and purely. What’s more fun than emulating your favorite character, whomever that may be.

So, not only did these parents rob their children of scaring a bunch of people all night, they took actors away from me and taught them, simultaneously, that it’s okay to ditch out on commitments that you don’t want to do and that creativity is something to be grown out of. Wonderful parenting.

When we did get everything going, we were amazing. We were so good that we had grown men screaming, adult women crying, and children wondering if they were going to die. (“Is this how I’m going to spend the last moments of my life?”). Sometimes, we did too good, though, because the kids who thought they were going to be tough ended up getting scared. This made them upset and they would react to their fear with anger, striking my actors and throwing stuff at them. Sometimes they would tear apart walls in order to get around something they saw early and wanted to be cool. Sometimes they threw candy at us, though, so that was fine.

The thing is, sometimes the parents were with them and just allowed this, even leading it a few times. I was astonished that this is how they would behave in a place that wasn’t theirs. They didn’t make the set pieces or the costumes, but they were fine with destroying them. I had to throw a few people out. My actors, kids in this case, were my first priority and the guests were disrespecting them and the space they worked so hard to create. I can’t allow that.

Afterwards, we were all so tired, but so happy. We overcame issues with the sound, worked together as a team to scare the shit out of people, and had a ton of fun doing it. I couldn’t have asked for a better Halloween.

I hope that Samhain was everything you wanted and more, my Darling Devils. Now let’s start planning for next year, WE’RE LATE!

HS!

LH

I Hate Nazis

I can’t believe I have to say this. Honestly, I haven’t had anybody say that I am connected to Nazis since my school years when kids would make fun of my extremely german last name. Back then I would just laugh at them for being unoriginal and shrug it off. I knew the kids didn’t think I was hateful or a murderer.

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A few weeks ago I was poking around on Twitter when I saw that somebody was making comments on my friend Sophie’s tweet, trying to say that the Church of Satan and its members were Nazis. It was really pissing me off because I am not a nazi. I am a Democrat and also not a monster.

Now, the Holocaust is interesting in a “peek into the mind of a maniac” sort of way, but the acts committed by Nazis and in the name of Hitler were astoundingly cruel and horrific. That makes me a student of history, not a Nazi.

But this person decided to go on and say that since the Church of Satan may contain members with Nazi sympathies, it is a Nazi organization. Um, no, that’s not how anything works. If we were to apply the same logic to everything else, the world would fall apart. Organizations all over the world have members that may have ideas or values that the organization doesn’t share.

An example: Most Nazis are Christian but Christians would take offense if you were to say that being Christian makes them a Nazi because they don’t kick the Nazis out of Christianity. An easier example: A square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square.

I am a very firm believer that people should be able to make their own choices in life. This may be because I had an abusive stepdad who wanted to control me and my mother and due to him, I put a lot of value in freedom. I dye my hair different colors because I don’t want to be constrained to black, brown, or blonde. Sometimes that means living in a world where I disagree with others.

Now, does that mean I would condone the banning of non-halal foods because Muslims decided that they don’t want them on the shelves anymore? No. Just like I don’t agree with Nazis that white people are the master race or whatever. I think that’s a disgusting ideal and I’m horrified anybody would compare me to a Nazi.

Maybe there are Nazis in the Church of Satan, I don’t know, because I am not responsible for who the Church of Satan decides to allow into their ranks. Nor do I have the power to kick Nazis out of the Church of Satan. If low-level members like me had that power, I’m sure the Nazis would have used it by now.

The members of the Church of Satan are not one hive mind. Sure, there are some values that we share such as The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth and The Nine Satanic Statements, but they mean something different to each individual Satanist. If you were to ask Reverend Campbell to interpret the Seventh Satanic Rule of the Earth and then asked Citizen Nero to do the same, their answers would probably be different.

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Humans consume the world through different filters. These can be race, religion, socioeconomic status, childhood experience, privet vs public school, city vs farm living, and so much more. Because of these lenses, information is processed differently from person to person and no two people’s experiences can be the same. To say that all Satanists are one thing because you saw one Satanist do the thing is a sign of a small mind.

So, what can I do if I don’t want to be labeled a Nazi? The guy who prompted this post said that I am appeasing the Nazis because I’m not doing anything to get them out of my Church. That is if there even are any because I really haven’t looked into it. That’s not a productive way to spend my energy.

Well, I’m a teacher and I am using that influential position to make a better future. I am introducing them to plays and scripts that make them think and challenge their world view. We learn about the ways theatre was shaped in different regions of the world and how culture is a huge part of putting on a production. I am working on creating a world where Nazis can’t exist.

Reverend Campbell posted a video today where he discusses The Satanic Warlock of the Year award and what he is looking for in candidates. One thing that was on my mind a lot today was looking at what you’ve done in the real world and not within the world of Satanism. I really recommend watching the video because he’s spot on. I’m not just trying to drive Nazis out of the Church of Satan, I’m trying to drive that sort of thinking out of the entire world. To focus on JUST changing the little Satanic bubble you live in would be short-sited. I am focused on much larger prizes.

So go change the world, my Sweet Satanists, whatever that means to you.

HS!

LH

I’m Afraid

Life is scary. There are a lot of ways to get hurt and killed out there, and we are more aware of that these days than ever before due to how quickly information can spread. Every day I look at my Twitter feed and see numerous headlines such as “Texas water resort closed, tested for ‘brain-eating amoeba’ after man’s death“, “Facebook just had its worse hack ever — and it could get worse“, and “Seven parked cars set on fire in Redmond” and my brain instantly goes “well, what would we do if that happened?”. Well, I don’t know, but maybe I should know.

My day is filled with dangers. I could slip in fall in the shower or just be straight up murdered in my sleep. Every day I drive 45 minutes to and from work, either on the freeway or the nerve-wracking Chuckanut Drive. It’s a wonderfully beautiful area

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From the Oyster Bar on Chuckanut Drive

right edge of the Puget Sound and surrounded by forests, but the road has a lot of twists and turns. The lanes are very small and the road follows a steep cliff, which makes passing large trucks very scary.

The best part is that my car is one of the deadliest to drive these days. To be fair, I’m looking to buy a new one soon but I really needed a new mattress. I know that doesn’t seem as important as a new car, but you should have slept on my old mattress.

Back to danger. So, I work at a school and that makes me nervous due to the school shootings that have occurred. I worry about keeping my students safe and what we would do if something were to happen. I have a plan, but I worry anyway.

If I go out, I could be drugged (that’s happened twice to me), I could get hit by a drunk driver, I could be raped or murdered for denying a man, or sold into the illegal sex trade.

When I’m in the theatre, I could fall from the ladder, lift, or catwalk, which range from 10 feet up to 60 feet up, depending on the location. I could start a fire and die

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From McIntyre Hall. This is one of the theatres I work in. See the catwalk above the house?

from that in various ways. I could be electrocuted. I could get hit by something coming in from the fly system. Also you can just be murdered anywhere, so just add that mentally from now on.

There are many, many diseases all over the world that could destroy my life and leave me in agony for my raining days. There are animals that can sting you, bite you, poison you, paralyze you, brutalize your body and/or murder you. I’m looking at you, Australia.

My greatest fear in the world is dying before my mother followed closely by getting in a violent car accident and burning alive. My phobias are spiders, bees, and clowns/mascots.

The thing is, I still drive to work every day to teach children. I still go 60 feet up onto the catwalk in the theatre and lean five feet out to gel a lamp. I still want to travel and eat new foods! There’s too much to do and see for me to say, but my bucket list is long. There’s a lot I’ve already done, too, like driving across country in 18-wheelers and performing in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

I live my life aware of the possible hazards and I think about what I would do in situations, but I don’t live my life as if it will happen every time I step out of the house. That’s no way to enjoy what the universe has to offer.

Go for a drive down Chuckanut if you’re ever in Bellingham, but pay attention to the road and wear your seatbelt. Have a belt-cutter and a way to break your window in case you crash into the water. If you’re prepared, you’ll be okay.

Case in point: Last winter my boyfriend and I were driving home from a party in Seattle. It was really, really snowy and he’s driving slower, but we came to a big hill on I-5 (just past the Starboard road exit if you’re familiar) and at the bottom, I felt the car start to slip. Dylan started to panic a little and I watched the trees and the lights of oncoming traffic as we spun towards the median. He was trying to correct

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and hit the break, so I very calmly said to take his foot off the break and keep his hands still. Eventually, we came to a stop facing traffic, though it was really far up the road. After a breath, we continued. This time, much slower. We passed other cars that night that had spun out. Some had gone into the trees, others into guard rails or just straight off the road. When we made it home, I almost cried.

My point here is that I was able to be calm because I was prepared. I wasn’t afraid, even as it was happening. I distinctly remember feeling a crisp, chilly weight in my stomach and feeling very even. I was the calm within the storm and we didn’t go off the road.

So, what I’m trying to say is to go out and live your life, just be prepared.

Okay, off to school. I’ll talk to you later, my Darling Devils.

HS!

LH

 

I Hate Lady-fied Words

In the Theatre, we have sort of moved away from using “actress”. Some people still use it if a bunch of actors are in a room and they need to point at a lady next to a bunch of dudes and need to distinguish her from the others, but normally we’d just describe the actor.

People very obviously get irritated when people say things such as “Female Prosecutor” and “Woman Professor” because it indicated that having a woman as whatever is being described is abnormal. For example, “I was driving to Wal-Mart and this fucking lady truck driver cut me off!”. Now, I’m not saying the speaker hates women, it just implies that truck drivers can’t be ladies and people get pissed at that.

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So, can we just all agree to stop lady-fying words that are perfectly fine as they are. I was on Twitter recently and somebody had tweeted something that called a woman a “Shero”. They had mixed together “Hero” and “She” in order to lady-fy it and I’m sure they meant to do it in order to fight the patriarchy but here’s the thing: Hero is not a gendered word. I’m a lady and if ever anybody calls me a hero for some reason, my reaction would not be “excuse me, sir, but I am a woman”.

Hero comes from the Greek and meant “Protector” or “Defender”, though I did find one definition that translated it as “Safeguard”. It’s just a word and a word that doesn’t contain, at least in my eyes, any sexism.

Another example of this is “Shemale’ which is an informal, offensive way to describe a guy who looks feminine, a masculine woman, a trans woman, and more. This does have an offensive, sexist definition and is a word that I do not use. It’s a word that is meant to hurt people and separate them into something not normal.

So, this blending of words in order to make them feminist is very strange. I know some words were created with the idea of “women are lesser” in mind, but I don’t think we should be gendering somebody’s greatest moment.

Let’s say you’re a woman and you’ve done something amazing. You’re a firefighter who saved a kid from a burning building and the news is interviewing you and they ask you “What does it like to be a Shero?”. That would irritate me because it’s taking attention away from the incredible act. It makes people think about “wait, Shero. What’s that. Oh, because she’s a woman who is a hero”. I don’t want them thinking about that! I would want them thinking about how I’m an amazing firefighter! I’m not, but ya know what I’m saying.

So, let’s maybe focus on some more important shit like how a lying sex-offender is controlling The United States.

I’ll be back later, my Lovely Lucifers.

HS!

LH

I Interviewed A Wicked Witch

Before I sent in my Church of Satan Membership application, along with my Active Membership Application, I started learning. I learned about Satanism though The Satanic Bible and various texts you can find on the Church of Satan’s website. I explored the reading and the interviews and the movies. I listened to the music and, most influential for me, podcasts. Today I will be posting the first of two interviews with the hosts of my two absolute favorite Podcasts.

This first one is with the host of Confessions of a Wicked Witch on Radio Free Satan. This is where I learned about Lesser Magic, Greater Magic, Rituals, Holidays and so much more. I love listening to the Podcast and look forward to each new post. I find Magistra Ygraine’s voice really soothing, too, so I like to listen to it when I’m trying to relax.

Sit back, pour yourself a glass of wine, and enjoy.

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From Confessions of a Wicked Witch

1) Tell me about your Podcast.

Confessions of a Wicked Witch has been on Radio Free Satan for years but we are changing the format. I’d like to surprise folks but I will say that it is high time I take these Confessions to an appropriate authority figure. After all, what good is a confession without a Priest to hear it?

2) What do you think the biggest difference is between a Satanic Witch and a Satanic Warlock, if any?
Other than genitalia, you mean? I prefer to stay on my side of the fence. It is more fun to be charmed by a Satanic man than to analyze his charms.
3) What would you do if all toothpaste suddenly tasted like burnt hair?
Grow mint and make my own.
4) What in your life are you most proud of?
My daughters. My Grandfather. My Mom. My Dad. My connections to humanity that haven’t been ruined by, well, humanity.
5) What is your ideal car?
The family joke is that I started as a minivan Mom and have, intentionally gotten smaller cars to avoid driving people around. My dream car? The Lotus Elon Emma Peel drives in the British series, The Avengers. 2 seater, you’ll notice.
6) If somebody said they would give you $100,000,000 if you punched your best friend in the face, how would you spend your money?
1/2 to the punch-ee. Then, well, ask around. I know how to spend money in truly decadent ways.
7) Is there a part of The Satanic Witch that speaks the loudest to you?
TSW did not automatically “talk” to me. I was too indoctrinated in the WORDS of feminism to notice I was practicing the arts LaVey described, as feminism. I tried, diligently, to shatter the salad dressing tests and the clock, and once again, Dok knew his shit.
8) Describe to me the experience of realizing you were a Satanist.
I think I knew before I knew, if that makes sense. Yet, the first time it came on like a light bulb was in The Black House, sitting with LaVey, happily discussing the Bacall/Bogie movies. I had been so nervous, so sure I would say or do something stupid, that when I snapped to I realized I had never been so comfortable, so me, in a “religious” setting in my whole life.
9) Tell me about The Wicked Witch of the year award.
I can only escape so much of my upbringing and experiences. I come from strong, accomplished women. I have given birth to three strong and accomplished women. As social media allowed more interaction I wanted to use my platform to introduce to Satanists at large, as well as to the mainstream, accomplished Satanic witches. It really is that simple. The rest is just my usual shits & giggles approach to life.
10) Define Satan to me as if I were a Non-Satanist.
I owe this one to Magistra Templi Rex Barton . The Miltonian ideal in Paradise Lost: He who would rather reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. He who will not kneel, will not yield, and will not apologize for his earned pride.
Thank you again to Magistra Ygraine for not only sitting down to take the time to answer my silly questions, but also taking the time to create a podcast that really helped me on my quest to the best life I can have. Her words have given me confidence and strength in my daily life and I hope you all get a chance to read her words.
Have a great day, my Darling Devils and pop by tomorrow for an interview with The Raising Hell Podcast.
HS!
LH

I Can Do This All Day

Seriously, getting to do these interviews is such an honor. Not only does it allow me to learn more about Satanism from different perspectives, but I also get to make connections within the Satanic communities.

I also want to get our voices out there. Satanists aren’t a quiet people, but we also don’t bother people unless they asked to be bothered. These interviews allow me to show the universe what is really going on in our heads.

So, without further ado, I present the latest…

Infernal Interview

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Gareth Nelson

Our latest victim is Gareth Nelson. He so kindly sent me the above picture so I wouldn’t have to go searching for it. Gareth is, like me, just a regular member waiting for the Active Member application to come back (Soon…).

1) How did you discover you were a Satanist?
At around 14 I started trolling people in school by pretending to be a “satanist” and saying I worship the devil etc etc, then a friend told me “you know Satanists don’t actually worship the devil, right?” and encouraged me to read the satanic bible, which I did overnight – that night I remember thinking “how on earth did this LaVey guy read my mind?”.
I then started calling myself a Satanist, but accurately.
Then at 17 I applied to join the CoS, I was accepted as a registered member at 18 and I’m now 30.
2) Is there a part of the Satanic Bible in particular that speaks to you?
Book of Satan IV, do I need to give the full quote?
Life is a truly precious thing, the most valuable and precious thing in the entire universe to me is my own life.
3) If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair?
Long and dyed pink, because that’s hot. Which reminds me, next time my wife dyes her hair I must encourage her to go pink again.
4) Is there anything about Satanism you’d like Non-Satanists to know?
You’ve had the usual answers from others you’ve interviewed: we’re atheists, we’re not those parasites (you know who I mean).
What I would say is “Satanists don’t have to like each other” – although we do often tend to get along, it’s actually expected even amongst members of the CoS that some Satanists will just not like or downright hate each other.
The other thing I’d like people to know is that we seriously mean it when we say we’re against racism – racism is collectivist, we care about individuals. Most of them are dumbasses, so it’s not about “we’re all the same inside”, it’s more “your ethnic group is irrelevant”.
I’ve noticed a weird tendency recently to make out that the CoS is some sort of neo nazi group, naturally we’re nothing of the sort – but the herd will never truly “get it” anyway. The comments on social media (such as on Twitter) are definitely a strong reminder of how different we are, non-satanists truly do seem to have some kind of reasoning deficit and it’s sometimes a little scary.
5) What is your favourite band?
Can I name two? If I had to name only one, I mainly listen to Nine Inch Nails – I often call Trent Reznor’s music my “coding fuel” – it’s the stuff I blast on headphones while coding stuff people consider impossible.
As a diversion, I happen to consider software to be a form of magic, there’s a reason why complex and clever code is often referred to by coders as “black magic” – I would say that they’re onto something.
If I could name two, I’d also name Jimi Hendrix as well. That’s almost a cliché amongst guitarists (I’m a guitarist myself) to name Hendrix (or Steve Vai), but the man was truly a genius with the things he did, some of which is near impossible to replicate without a lot of practice and hard work.
6) If kittens had stingers, would you still love them?
I’d love them even more, cats are already satanic little fuckers with claws and a full command of lesser magic (“I’m cute and fluffy, obey me and feed me”) – imagine if they backed that up with stingers, they’d form little kitten armies and dominate the world. (The Author like this idea)
7) Do you have a piece of Satanic merch that is your favorite?
I’m not big on “merch” to be honest, my ritual chamber has some basic stuff in it – a Baphomet cloth, black candles and ritual blade etc, if that counts as “merch”.
That said, I am quite fond of the “Proud CoS member” t-shirt from iSatanist, it’s somewhat childish but I love the odd looks I get when wearing it in public – even better when helping my disabled son get around in his wheelchair, it really messes with people’s mental image of what a Satanist is. (Hell yeah)
8) When was the last time you performed a ritual?
I don’t like to discuss rituals in public, at least not in detail, I will say that as time goes on I find myself entering the ritual chamber less often and relying more on lesser magic to get what I want.
I do still sometimes ritualise on top of more mundane manipulation tactics, or where I feel I’ve gone “off-track” in some way.
9) If you could only drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Caffeinated virgin mojito – absolutely love the taste of mojito, but hate alcohol. Best times in my life have been when I’ve had my brain operating at peak capacity and my intellect is very precious to me, so i’ve never enjoyed being drunk.
Caffeine on the other hand, caffeine is awesome – and so is the taste of mint and lime. Especially served icy cold with a nice sirloin steak and soft cheese.
Excuse me while I fantasize about steak….
10) Define Satan.
Satan is me.
Ok, let me elaborate – Satan is a symbol for my potential, that little voice inside pushing me to do better, to be greater than I am. Satan is my inner drive, the black flame – to put it less poetically, Satan is a symbol that I strongly identify with.
In christian mythology Satan is the guy who pointed to Jehovah and said “you are wrong”. That is only one mythology among many, LaVey pointed out many examples of the devil archetype in different cultures. The point is, Satan is a role model, something to aspire to – the outsider.
Satanism is ultimately about a brutal rejection of spiritual delusion and a celebration of reality as it actually is, and Satan is the symbol of those of us who make that rejection.
Ladies and Gents, Boos and Ghouls, I hope you’re still loving these and haven’t yet gotten sick of me… No you can never get sick of me. I really love that people are willing to answer my silly questions with thoughtful answers. We are learning a lot together.
Two more Infernal Interviews are lined up, but I’m sure more are coming after that.
Have a Sinful Sunday, Loves.
HS!
LH