We End Our Journey

Finally, we have made it to the deepest pits of Hell where those who committed the sin of Pride reside. Pride is considered to be the most serious of the Seven Deadly Sins, as well as the seed in which all of the other Deadly Sins stem from. St. Augustine had this to say about Pride:

“It was Pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels”

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Image from the British Museum 

Pride is also referred to as Hubris and Vanity. When Dante and Virgil get down to this final level of Hell, they see that the sinners are destined to walk with large stone slabs on their neck so that they are forever bowing. Another source states that those who commit this sin will be “broken on the wheel”, which refers to an executions method used in the 18th century.

The How Stuff Works website describes The Wheel as follows:

“One of the most horrible wheel tortures was akin to crucifixion. The victim would have the bones in all four limbs broken in two places by strikes from an iron bar. Then, the shattered limbs were threaded through the spokes of a large wheel. Finally, the wheel would be attached to the top of a tall wooden pole and left out in the sun for days. The victim might be alive for hours, enduring the agony of his or her mangled arms and legs and the relentless sun, not to mention the attentions of crows [source: Hunt]”.

So how does The Church define Pride? According to Deadlysins.com, Pride is “excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God”. Another site calls Pride the “Anti-God” state while Aristotle defined it by saying “shaming the victim, not because of anything that happened to the committer or might happen to the committer, but merely for the committer’s own gratification”.

It seems that the definitions have changed slightly over the years, though the underlying message remains the same. You’re going to Hell because you put your faith in yourself more than you put your faith in God.

Okay, guys, I can hear you all giggling. Yes, we Satanists obviously put our faith in ourselves over God because 1) we don’t think God is real and 2) we know that the only person we can rely in is ourselves. The reason The Church made Pride a Deadly Sin is because they need people to need them. They need to make people believe that God is the reason for their success in life so thanks must be given or all will be taken away and you will be sent to Hell.

The Satanist knows that there is nothing wrong with Pride. It’s one of my favorite sins because there’s not a huge negative side to this Sin other than coming off like an asshole. I mean, being too big of an asshole can totally ruin your life, so I guess my word of caution here is “Don’t be an asshole about it”. You’re welcome.

Be proud of yourself, damn it. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of my lighting design and teaching careers. I’m proud to be a Member of the Chruch of Satan. I’m also proud of my family’s achievements such as my little brother’s sports ball wins and that my little sister got into the fraternity she applied to. As long as you don’t become an asshole, you’ll be fine.

That’s all for this one, kiddos! Watch out for some sweet Infernal Interviews as well as whatever else is on my mind. Let me know if there’s anything in particular you’d like me to cover.

HS!

LH

P.S. I was gone yesterday because I was really hung over. Not sorry.

 

I Wonder How The Joneses are Doing.

We are almost to the end of our journey through Hell and come now to a ghastly site.  Here are those whose souls were weighed down by the Sin of Envy have their eyes sewn shut with wire as they had once derived pleasure by seeing others brought low. That is interesting to me because the sin becomes less about wanting what other have and more about enjoying seeing that other are below you.

As before, these damn sins could be all be boiled down to, like, three and this is one of the sins that could disappear into Lust. Envy, to me, seems to just be you lusting after what others have, which can do two things. It can either 1) Drive you mad and/or 2) Push you.

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Envy by Jacques Callot

I don’t have a lot of good things to say about Envy other than that it can drive you or at least become an indicator of what you might want in your life. I know I want a family one day because when I look at these families at the park or whatever, I feel a bit of envy for what they have. When I see a car that I like, I might feel that little jump in my stomach and I might feel a little more of a drive to get where I want to be.

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That’s pretty much all I can say in favor of envy because, as Epstein says, it’s no fun at all. Well, until you get what you want, but that erection eventually fades and you’ll never stop wanting.

This is what Rev. Campbell called on one of his live streams “Keeping up with The Jonses”. This is when you use your neighbor at a benchmark for social class and the accumulation of material goods. This can drive a person to want and want and spend and spend in order to put out this false idea that they are as good as those around them. This is no fun and will run you into the ground.

Yeah this isn’t going to be a long one saying “Yeah go out there and be envious!” because I don’t think that would be worth your time and energy. If you want something, go get it!

Now, I’m going to go get a piercing or a tattoo. I’ll show you later.

HS!

LH

YOU NEED TO READ THIS OR ELSE!

As you can probably guess from the fact that I’m yelling at you in my title, the Sin we are looking at today is wrath! This is actually my least favorite sin, though I still allow myself to dip my toes into the Rage Pool on Twitter.

 

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Wrath by Jacques de l’Ange

Wrath is described as feelings of anger, rage, and hatred. Dante describes wrath as the “Love of justice perverted to revenge and spite”, which is interesting because it seems to be condemning a kind of vigilante justice.

Those who commit the sin of “Violence” in Dante’s Inferno are separated into three rings within the Seventh circle of Hell. The outer ring houses murderers and other violent people sinking forever into a river of boiling blood and fire. In the middle circle, those who committed suicide were turned into trees and forever fed upon by harpies. They share the ring with profligates who were chased and torn to pieces by dogs for eternity. In the middle ring, blasphemers and sodomites reside in a desert of burning sand while burning rain hails down onto them.

This sin was picked in order to keep those who may be angry with The Church in their place. The Flock is always going to be afraid of God and Hell. If there were a reason for those in The Flock to be mad at The Church, they would have shoved that feeling way down into a bucket of prayer, snuffing whatever flame of rebellion may be starting within because they 1) don’t want to go to hell and 2) don’t want to be excommunicated. If this were to occur, nobody would do business with this person or people, and they would be basically pushed to the fringes of society. That was a death sentence back in the day, especially if you were old, unmarried, and/or a woman.

The Church also wanted to establish a few laws and you can catch some hidden within the layers of each sin. In this, we see that laws against murder, suicide, and violence towards a fellow-man. Interestingly enough, the center circle is reserved for those who spoke up against The Church and Sodomites, which just means you engaged in oral or anal sex, though this is often a word to describe those of the LGBTQA+ society. I find this interesting because I’m not sure it belongs in this category and should probably be shoved in with Lust. Actually, this category as a whole is one of the only ones I see that can’t be mashed together with Lust.

Here’s why I don’t like Wrath. When I get mad and yell at people, I get a bad headache and it just makes me more mad. That’s on the low-end. As you were probably expecting, I am again going to say that this sin can be indulged in as long as you don’t live your life in rage. That’s not productive. My former step Dad had awful anger issues and he hurt my mom and I almost every day for 17 years of my life. I have seen what Anger can do to people if that’s the only emotion they have.

But I’m not here to tell you not to do something. I’m here to do the opposite! I also think it’s unhealthy to ignore anger and rage and that drive to fight. Rage can’t be controlled so it tells you a lot about yourself and how you feel about whatever situation you’re in if you suddenly become super pissed off. It means a change needs to be made. That doesn’t mean you can revel in that anger, though.

My boyfriend had a clock. This clock would wake us up with the normal beep, beep, beep but it would slowly get faster and faster and I hated that clock. I hated it. So, one night, a few days before we were meant to go camping, the clock started beeping. I shot straight up in bed and I yelled “Darling, I hate that fucking clock! I hate it so fucking much!” Apparently I hadn’t told him about how much I hated the clock so this was really scary for him.

When we went camping, we took the clock with us. I was excited to see it unplugged but then I learned it had a backup battery and I almost went crazy. So, I took it to the forest (Don’t worry I cleaned up all the pieces) and I broke that shit. I broke it over rocks; I broke it under rocks; I broke it by hitting it with a stick; I stuck it in a fire; I dumped drink on it and it still wouldn’t die! It kept telling me the time and working normally. I finally killed it by pulling out each wire until I got to the last one and the face went clear.

That was the best feeling of my life. I mean it. All those resentful feelings just washed away because I got the sweet revenge I needed. Nobody was hurt, except maybe my boyfriend when I criticized his clock, but that’s fine he can use his phone. But I hope that clock could feel it.

So, I don’t want you guys to live in anger, but if you ever get the change, beat the hell out of that damn clock.

Have a great rest of your day, my Sweet Satans!

HS!

LH

I Might Nap

Hey, guys, I took a break yesterday to dye my hair (It went to a really nice royal purple), but that fits for today’s topic: Sloth!

I’ve been using a website called deadlysins.com a lot for my research and they describe Sloth as “the avoidance of physical or spiritual work” and that those in hell will be punished by dancing in a pit of snakes forever. Ya know, cuz you slept in a lot.

Dante does address sloth, though it’s referenced in Purgatorio and known as “acedia”. These souls sinned by not loving God with “all one’s heart, all one’s mind, and all one’s soul”, the ultimate form of this being suicide. They were then forced to run continuously at top speed.

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Thank you Catholic.com

Now, I can get behind the no killing yourself but that’s just because self preservation is so natural. I know that you can’t be strong all the time (I’ve been there) and I plan on doing a post about the topic, but for now let’s just say please don’t kill yourself.

When it comes to the rest, I’m not so sure. The one half says that you were too lazy in your worship of God. Whatever. This God seems like he needs a lot of praise and money or he’ll get real pissed at you and send you to hot forever jail. But let’s define “God” as Satanists. God is ourself in that case in which the sin would be not worshipping yourself enough. Well, sometimes the god Lauren wants to spend a day watching her favorite shows!

That brings us to the second part of the Sin: Outright Laziness! I love this one because I’m a teacher and my lazy days are precious during the school year. The same goes for when I’m designing a show! I always work my booty off because I want my work to be done right and done quick, unless I’m charging by the hour.

Now, naturally, there is an extreme to this, too, and I again will tip my hat to “Indulgence not Compulsion”. When I take a day to lay on the couch all day, it’s because the weekend before I climbed over 100 flights of stairs after going up and down and up and down and up and down because lighting design takes place at the highest parts of the theatre. Sometimes school with overlap with theatre days and when I get home at 11, I literally lay on the ground when I enter the door.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve earned it. I’m not allowing my want to nap to get in the way of my want to be a teacher and a lighting designer. I also don’t want to compromise the image I present to the world. I like how I look and I don’t want to be so lazy that the image I’m presenting to the world changes. Well, except my hair color. That changes weekly.

So, like with all the sins, it comes down to balance. And with that thought, I am going to go nap because I got bad sleep.

Have a lazy day, my dearest devils!

HS!

LH

It’s Time to Eat!

Alright, friends, this is day two of my Seven Deadly Sins. As we continue our spiraling staircase down into Hell alongside our friend Dante, we come to a ghastly site. Cerberus watches over an unending storm of ice that rains upon the heads of those consumed by the sin Gluttony while they were alive. Here, in Hell, they are face down in a “vile slush” which symbolizes the personal degradation of one who overindulged in food, drink and other worldly pleasures, while unable to see others lying nearby. This torture is designed to mimic their cold and selfish nature while on Earth.

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I did not draw this, it’s far too good. 

Date’s Inferno is so cool, you guys have got to check it out.

The website deadlysins.com defines Gluttony as “an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires”, which could just be stuck into Lust if you ask me, but nobody did so I’ll keep writing.

What I get when I read about this Sin is that there’s no getting out of it anymore, at least in this day and age. We consume far more than we require of far more than just food. I mean, yeah, we all over eat (I did yesterday), but we are also consuming natural resources faster than we should, though that’s more a few really wealthy people who want to get more wealthy.

We consume media in large amounts and I know that’s damn true because we all have Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or whatever you use to show the world how happy your life is. I check Twitter a lot because I get bored, so I’m right there with you.

Here’s the kicker: Satanists don’t care. That’s not to say that we don’t care about the environment or eating too much and gaining weight or how much we check our phones, we just don’t care what you do.

As Satanists, we have our own set of Sins, the Ninth being “Lack of Aesthetic”. This just means that you have a look in mind that will allow you the greatest Lesser Magic abilities you can at any time… at least that’s how my brain takes it.  We also practice Indulgence not Compulsion as the only thing that should be dictating our lives is ourselves. These two things combined makes it nearly impossible for a Satanist to be a glutton, but we may allow ourselves to be gluttonous from time to time. Let me explain…

When I was 13 I was driving in the front seat with my mom and my little sister was in the back seat. She was doing something (I can’t remember) to annoy me at the time and I was giving it back, only far more mean because I was a teenager and also older. My Mom was trying to get us to stop when I seemingly crossed a line in the sand. She pulled over, stopped, smacked me across the face and said,

“You’re being a bitch. You’re not a bitch, but you’re being a bitch”

This has always stuck with me because it is so true! The meaning of the quote and that I was being a bitch, I’m sure I was. But after everything I learned two things: 1) My mom can slap hard and 2) You can do something without letting it define you.

I love McChickens. I know, how freaking gross is that? I don’t know why but they’re just so good and they’re even better when you’re drunk or hung over. I admit that there was a time where I ate a few too many of them while also not working out enough to counter their nasty, so I gained some weight. I’m 5’8″ and was around 155, which was not part of the aesthetics I wanted to present. So, I stopped getting them as much and started walking more.

Oh, I also HATE working out so instead I just walk around my town and listen to music. Now, I’m 140 and that looks a lot better to me. The thing is, I still get my damn McChickens, I just make sure they’re not fucking with my life. Sometimes I get one in a week, other times I’ll eat 4 and a fry because it’s what I want, Satan damn it!

It’s not ruining my life, nor how I want to look. I’m not hurting others and they’re only a dollar and some change after tax, so they’re not expensive. So who cares?

Who cares if you are on Insta a lot as long as you’re getting your important work or homework done as well? I don’t.

The biggest thing that bugs me about the Seven Deadly Sins, and I’m sure I’ll say this again, is that they are way too nosey. The Church had to control people and they made use they could do that by knowing everything that was going on in the lives of their flock and then telling them it was wrong. I honestly don’t give a shit what my neighbors are doing as long as it doesn’t hurt me, their children, or their animals. As soon as one of those issues comes up, it starts to become my business. That’s just because I would move Hell and Earth to save an animal or a kid. I can’t help it, there’s just this Beast inside me that comes out when either of those things are in danger… It’s a super power. I digress… again.

But go ahead and enjoy whatever your McChicken is! If your McChicken is getting them likes on that Insta, post a great picture. (Extra points if you tag me and give it the hashtag #MyMcChicken). If your McChicken is having sex, go out and get some! (Don’t tag me in that).

And every once in a while, if you’re worried you might be slipping into a grey area between indulgence and compulsion (because sometimes it takes a moment to check yourself) just go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, smack yourself and say

“You’re being a bitch. You’re not a bitch, but you’re being a bitch” 

HS!

LH

 

This is your Daily Reminder to Sin

The party’s not over… Lauren’s back! *Fist bumps to music*

Hey there, friends, I know I’ve been gone for a long time, but I was coming up with a fun set of essays for you! Also, I was camping, breaking down on the side of the road, staying in a Wal-Mart parking lot for a day and a half, house sitting, cleaning, and generally enjoying my summer.

But now I’m back! So, welcome to the first in a seven-part series where we dive into the Seven Deadly Sins and how they can be interpreted in a Satanic way. Now, I want to again make it clear that I don’t speak for the Church of Satan or any of its other members. These is just what’s going on in my strange brain.

This is your Daily Reminder to Sin

First up to bat is one of my favorite Deadly Sins: Lust!

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From seven sins.com

I’m starting here because it was often considered the least harmful of the deadly sins and it also places us on the path Dante fallows in Inferno, which I highly recommend, it is awesome. There, Lust is described as “excessive love for others” but we also tend to associate lust with the pleasures of the flesh. Lust can also talk about material things such as a lust for money or a lust for fame. Honestly, I don’t know why they bothered with the other sins when it seems Lust can cover them all.

Okay, here’s what up with lust. To have these fleshly desires, one is admitting that they are closer to animal than God, which doesn’t really fit the narrative of The Church. These feelings of Lust, however they manifested, also meant that you put something above God which makes God real jealous so he will send you to hell, I guess. I don’t pretend to know how they believe this stuff, especially since their God is so “loving”. I digress… (Don’t even get me started on unbaptized babies).

So, if you’re loving something more than God and you’re admitting you’re an animal with desires just like any other animal. That flies in the face of every story The Church has to keep their flock coming back, thus they make sinners out of normal, human feelings. If somebody is trying to force you into subservience and is trying to keep themselves in power, it is very easy to control you if you’re already hating yourself.

When you go to confession and tell them about how you had boner for a chick in the market the other day, he’ll tell you to go home and pray on it and say this amount of whatever, but that doesn’t really do anything… right? All it does is waste your time because these are the Deadly Sins… right? Whatever, so now you’re home and you sit there praying and wasting your time and then do it all over again because you can always go back and confess again and you will because you’re scared. You’re scared to go to hell.

*Satanists, roll your eyes here*

How awful it must be to live in this fear of yourself. First of all, I don’t have an issue with putting God first because that’s me, I am my own God. That alone sends me WAY into the depths of hell, anyway, so fuck it with the rest, am I right?

But why shouldn’t I allow myself the pleasures of the flesh? They’re fun and it’s a totally natural feeling. Satanists know that we are just human animals and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with lusting after people as long as you’re not a dick about it. (Lauren’s Rule #1: Don’t be a dick about it)

Lusting after wealth and such can be good, too, but you can’t let it ruin your life. As long as I am considering myself God, then yeah don’t put anything before god… as long as god is you because self-preservation is the highest law. But if what I lust for is a nicer car, I have to work to get that nicer car and that lust is a motivator.

Again, nothing should take over your life. Satanists practice Indulgence not Compulsion, which can include working too hard or wanting after something too much. It’s not good for people obsess to the point of addiction.

So, go forth and lust after whatever! As long as all you’re doing is bettering yourself or your situation, there can be no harm in lusting.

That’s all for the day, kids! I need to eat something.

HS!

LH