No, I Don’t Run an ASSC.

I was halfway through this post and it deleted, so here we go again. No, hold on, I’m going to get a snack first.

Okay, I’m back. So, as I have said before, I’m a teacher and I also run two different clubs after school. The first is Drama Club. I teach drama so it’s natural for me to run this and I love it so much! I don’t do much other than steer the kids and teach them the skills they need to act, work back stage, or be part of the creative team. The students are totally in charge of directing, stage managing, sound, lights, costumes, set, and props. The productions they put on are totally student created.

This is crucial because it teaches them responsibility as they know their friends and family, as well as strangers, will be coming to see what they’ve done and they want to be able to take pride in their work.

The other club I run is Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) club. Here, as in Drama Club, the students take charge. If one of them decides they have a story they want us to be a part of, they take charge as Dungeon Master (DM) as long as the current DM is done with their campaign or wants to take a break. If they’re not DM, they’re playing along with me. I mostly just show them where they can find the information they need within the books and explain how to do things such as rolling a character (4D4-lowest=STAT).

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Not my dice, but they could be

I LOVE running this club because it is so much fun and it teaches them so much. These students have to learn how to work together to overcome obstacles and that doesn’t just mean fighting big dudes. Sometimes you have to solve a murder or get through a dungeon with a bunch of traps and other times you’re running a business in order to get money. There’s a lot of quick math and you have to learn how to work together and use other character’s skills to get around (or through) problems. On top of all of this, they create friends and that’s really important for students.

All that being said, I would like to make an official statement.

I DO NOT RUN AN “AFTER SCHOOL SATAN CLUB”

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From Afterschoolsatan.com

When people find out I’m a Satanist, either by noticing my attire or I feel I can tell them, one of the questions they ask, if they also know I’m a teacher, is if I run “one of those After School Satan Clubs they saw on Facebook”.

No I don’t.

First off, let me sorta explain what an After School Satan Club is. To the best of my knowledge, the clubs were created by a group of well-meaning trolls who wanted to provide a space for children to learn STEAM programs in a secular environment. look, I get it. Doesn’t it sound really cool to have a place for little kids to be themselves and learn and grow, all under the loving eye of Papa Baphomet?!

No, actually, that sounds awful. One thing Satanists don’t do is force our religion on others, especially children, so the club’s desire to have the kids learn in a secular environment is instantly squashed by the name of the club itself.

The idea of a club also goes against Satanism as we have the internet. Yes, there used to be a grotto system in place, but that was before we could connect on social media. So, Satanists would never endorse a club for children, no matter how well-intentioned.

Here’s the thing, if you really want children to learn and grow in secular environments, there are better ways to do it. You can donate to the school or to clubs directly; you can go to sporting events or school plays; you can make sure to encourage children to work hard in areas they are interested in, even if it’s not something in which you are interested; you can be their cheerleader while also helping them improve. If you’re worried about education losing funding, call your local representative and make sure your voice is heard in a meaningful way, not stunts.

So, no, I don’t run an After School Satan Club, but I do run two clubs. These clubs operate based on my values and as much as that includes not forcing Satanism down people’s throats, it also includes pushing to be the best at what you do and becoming who you want to be, which does translate into my teaching. I want to give the kids the skills they need to go out and play DnD without me or leave Drama Club and get into a professional production. So, I guess I run a Club That Meets After School That Isn’t Satanic But The Teacher is a Satanist So The Club Teaches You How To Be a Better Person on the Down Low But is Mostly About Life Skills. A CTMASTISBTTSSTCTYHTBBPDLBMALS. Catchy.

Have a great rest of your day, my Devilish Darlings.

HS!

LH

I Want to Talk About Stan

So, you know that spot in the corner of the board that says what the date is and what is happening in the day? Well, mine has a little mascot.

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From Amazon

His name is Stan and he kind of looks like this. Stan is a very rich character and the students have made up an entire lore for Stan.

Stan started with a typo. The kids and I were putting on a haunted house  on Halloween and were brainstorming ideas for what we wanted in the various rooms. We were thinking of various scary things and had made a list consisting of things such as Zombies, Cannibals, Clowns, Chainsaw Clowns, Crazy Laughing People, and Dead Children.

Then one of my youngest students in Drama Club chimed in with “Satan Room”.

I would like to take a moment to remind readers that my students don’t know about my affiliations. I don’t wear my necklace around them; I don’t bring literature to school; I don’t talk to them about it. The same goes with my peers and most of my family. It’s a small town and I love my job. As long as I do these things I feel secure.

So he says Satan Room, and he meant like a bunch of people in black robes in a dark room with a pentagram sacrificing something unseen while people walk through and we follow them. I put myself in this room, after it got voted in, to make sure nobody came in and just freaked the hell out. (One lady did start praying in Spanish, though).

So, as I was writing down “Satan Room” I was thinking about something else and just wrote “Stan Room”. This is when Stan was born. After some banter, they decided that “Stan” was the projector that we were always fighting with because he was sometimes in charge of if we could do a lesson or not. Stan was a powerful force. Not long after, I got the little snake and put him on the board so that it read “Stan says it’s (Date) and today we are doing (Whatever)”.

Well, again, I didn’t pick the name. I had the middle school kids vote on what we should call it and, again after some banter, they decided on Stan. It was a close vote, but one student won over the majority of the class by saying “the snake was Stan but in real life”.

Seriously these kids have really great story-telling abilities. I’m sure there are stories of Stan that have yet to be written or told to me. So sometimes, when the projector is being really annoying, the kids will look towards the damn thing and start saying things like “Come on, Stan!”; “Please, Stan, don’t!”; “Hail Stan”. Some kids want it to work and others don’t. Stan doesn’t care and does what it pleases. Stupid thing.

So, that’s Stan. Please send in your best Stan fan art.

HS!

LH

Today Is The Day!

Don’t forget to stop by and say hey during my interview! Reverend Campbell is going to be sitting down with me across the internet to chat with your friendly neighborhood Satanist. It starts at 7 my time.

 

Be sure to check out Reverend Campbell’s own website and all the wonderful stuff he does there!

HS!

LH

I’m Pissed

So, I’m scoring along on Twitter today and I’m seeing the usual crap about Trump and some stuff about the Yanni vs Laurel thing (Fuck y’all I’m team Lauren) when all of a sudden I see an article about a teacher who decided it would be a good idea to drown two raccoons in front of his freaking students.

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Not these, but they looked like this.

YUP! You read that right! Let me give you the full story.

So this teacher, Dewie Brewton, who has been teaching at the school for 34 years, caught two raccoons in traps that had allegedly killed a few of the school’s chickens. So, after he had them trapped, he had students help him fill up a tub with water and assist him in holding the cages in the water as the animals fought to breathe, eventually succumbing to their fate.

This is unacceptable and I hope this teacher is fired as soon as possible. Let me explain a few things. My dad is a hunter and performs predator control where he will trap, hunt, kill, or relocate animals depending on what the situation is. Would he have killed the raccoons? Probably.

Here’s the difference: My Dad is not cruel. He doesn’t want these animals to suffer and is really hard on himself if he doesn’t give an animal a clean, quick death. Also, he doesn’t do It around students! Also, his damn job was to kill the animals who were causing harm to livestock or threatening communities.

Mr. Brewton’s job is to teach. I’m a teacher and I know that the job requires more teaching about life and the way the world works than actual math or science lessons. The teacher should have shown the students that animals are only doing what they are doing to survive. He should have showed them how wild they are and how we have to have compassion for animals.

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Unholy FUCK they’re cute. 

Here’s what I would have done. I would have brought the students out to see the animals. We would have spoken about what they look like, why they would kill the chickens, what they are acting like, and what they might be doing if they weren’t hanging out with us. Then I would have loaded them up into my car and taken them to a wooded area and set them free.

Maybe that’s just because I’m a Satanist and I value life for all. Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for those Trash Ninjas. Who knows?

I’ll be posting a video later, my Lovely Devils. Stay tuned.

HS!

LH