I Once Worked For A Christian Church

Okay, it wasn’t for very long. Literally only, like, three hours. But, unholy shit, what an adventure.

First of all, know that one of my jobs for a while has been as a lighting designer or technician of some sort. I’ve talked about it at length in a different post, if you’re wondering what a Theatrical Lighting Designer does.

So, there’s a saying that there’s only six people in theatre because we are so tight-knit that everybody knows somebody who knows you. Well, a friend of mine of Facebook had a friend who usually worked for a church and was going on vacation, thus needing somebody to run the lights for them.

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Lighting Designer Stuff

They said they would pay $100 per day and, back then, that was worth it to me since it would only take, as I thought, two hours out of two of my Sundays. Sure, I’ll take $200 from Christians any day. So, I took the job.

My boyfriend went with me because it was in Everett which, if you know Washington, is shitty. So, we drove from Bellingham the night before and stayed with a friend in Seattle. We ended up staying up too late and woke up feeling like crap. Honestly, we looked hung over, but we weren’t.

So we then got lost on the way to the church. We get there, and I find out that it’s not a real church, it’s a “church” that rents time from a local theatre each Sunday. Well, I get there and I find out that I’m not allowed to use half of the lights available because the theatre doesn’t want them to. Cool.

Then I find out that I can’t record cues, which is fine because I’ve free-styled lighting before, but then the pastor’s wife came up and started telling me to “save” cues and pushing between me and my instruments, which is really freaking annoying.

I knew really quickly that this wasn’t going to work because they didn’t want me, they wanted their normal lady and I was wearing a pentagram necklace. It was for a show, but whatever. Christians gonna Christian. But then something crazy happened just before people started to file in to get seated.

THEY STARTED SPEAKING IN TONGUES

I’m not kidding. Dylan and I were in the booth and they formed this circle and started swaying and praying, which is whatever, but then one of them went full crazy person. Holy crap. Half way through the stupid event the children, twins less than 8, began doing it, too. Their parents were so loud and said they could feel God within her. Ew.

But I’m here and I have to work! It ended up that I was there for three hours! Remember, I had gotten there late, so, apparently, I should have been there for four hours.

I’m sorry, but $200 isn’t enough money to spend my time with the insane.

So, after far too many songs about God trying to be cool, it was finally over and I waited quietly to get my check and go. This took 45 minutes. I suspect it’s because they had to convince the Pastor’s wife to pay me.

Well, eventually a woman who may have introduced herself to me came my direction holding a check. Luckily, I had my Satanic Bible in my purse and reached for that. As the poor girl handed me the check, I opened the book and slipped the check between the pages for safe keeping.

Let me tell you, the look on her face made me worried the check would be canceled by the time I got to the ATM down the street. It wasn’t. I never went back and they never asked me where I was, so I suppose they agreed that this was the best course of action for both parties.

The best part? When I was depositing the check, I noticed that they had paid me the entire amount in advance.

Have a great night, my Infernal Beauties.

HS!

LH

I Want To Be A Mom

Not right now! I’m busy doing my own thing right now and trying to advance my career. I got places to see and a person to be. There are a lot of responsibilities that come with a kid that I am just not ready for yet and I know that, which is why I’m waiting. So, these thoughts are coming from somebody who isn’t a mom and couldn’t imagine what it is like to be a parent at all.

If you’d like to hear from real Satanic parents, I recommend The Raising Hell Podcast because it is amazing. I’ve been listening to it for around a year now and I’ve loved every episode. Each of the guests Milton brings on are smart, funny, and bring amazing new insights to the world Satanic parents live in on the daily. Over the episodes I’ve come to love his kids, who he will tell stories about and will pop up from time to time because kids do what they want. The podcast has taught me a lot about parenting and Satanism, too, and what it means to be a member of the Church of Satan. His podcast is one of the reasons I decided to take the step to send in my Active Membership Application. (Thanks, guys! HS!)

WARNING: All of the views expressed in this blog are my own and I do not speak for other members of the Church of Satan, nor the Church of Satan itself!

One of the questions I’ve gotten ask as a Satanist is how I will address this issue if I have kids. First thing I say is that being a Satanist isn’t an “issue”, so it shouldn’t be approached as something negative. Since people assume “Satanism” is the equivalent of “Evil”, they use words such as “issue” because their brain is telling them that I might feel the need to hide my religion from my kids because they feel I should feel shame for being a member for the Church of Satan. I’m not. This allows the way we approach the subject of religion with a child much easier and something that shouldn’t be feared.

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Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt and then my Mom holding fat me

The next thing I ask is if they would ask the same question to a Christian. The person I’m speaking to always ends up looking a little taken aback but it’s a fair question and I know the answer. It’s no. Most people assume that a Christian family will raise their children in the faith. That’s just normal and how the ideas of gods exist in the 21st century.

Then I answer their question in two parts. Will I keep Satanism secreted away from my children? No. They have a right to know something that personal about their mother. Will I raise them to be Satanists? No, because Satanists are born not made. But I will raise them to be satanic. I want them to have the confidence and self-love that comes with Satanism. There are a lot of great life lessons in Satanism and The Satanic Bible that people can use in their life even if they don’t identify as a Satanist or aren’t members of the Church of Satan. Hell, even for people who are Christian, Hindu, Islamic or any of the other ones that exist.

I won’t hide my books from my kids, but I’m also going to keep my ritual area somewhere private. That’s mostly because it is meant to be private and there’s some sharp shit involved. But if they ask me about it, I’ll answer them in a way that answers their question, but does so in a way that allows them to come to their own conclusions. I would also make sure that they are ready for the information. Kids can process information differently at different ages and maturity levels and you have to match what your telling them to where they’re at. It’s the same thing with my students. I can have the same lesson plan for my high schoolers that I do for my middle schoolers and teach it two totally different ways because they’re different age ranges.

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My Grandpa being very safe with me

I’m going to love my kids no matter what and I know I’m going to screw up a lot along the way, but I hope they grow up to be good people. I want them to know they are loved and they can come to me with anything. I hope I can keep them healthy but, hell help me, kids will get sick no matter how hard you try. They’re made of germs.

I can’t wait to meet my little devils and see who they turn out to be when they grow up.

Have a great night, my Darling Demons.

HS!

LH

I’m Depressed

Don’t worry, it’s okay, I’m not here for sympathy. I want to, instead, just talk about it and maybe make depression seem a little less scary.

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Me looking dope as shit paying RockBand

There are many reasons I could point to as to why I’m depressed, but the biggest one is biology and chemistry. My Dad suffers from depression and so does my grandma on my mom’s side. Actually, a lot of people on my mom’s side have a lot of issues. Basically, this was the way I was made and I have to live with it, which is exactly what I do. I live. I don’t mean this in the basic sense of the word such as simply breathing and eating, but I do what I enjoy and try to see life as positive– something I’m really bad at when I’m not medicated.

Oh yeah, I totally need medication. This is also, by the way, okay, because it means that you are taking the steps needed in order to focus your energy on more productive projects such as making art, furthering your career, spending more time with your family, or whatever it is you enjoy doing. If I don’t have it, I think about awful things like crashing my car into a tree on the freeway. I don’t really want to, but I think about it.

I also have anxiety. This manifests itself in the super fun way of making me sick. I finally figured out a morning/night regiment off medication that allows me to avoid getting sick usually, but it does still happen if I’m really stressed out. Basically, I wake up and just vomit for about ten minutes. It got to be so normal that I scheduled it into my routine.

Another way the anxiety and depression affects my life is through insomnia. I sometimes only get three to five hours of sleep each night, feeling exhausted all through the day, before finally waking up at night and not being able to fall asleep until three in the morning. In order to help myself fall asleep, I eat a bowl of oatmeal, have a small drink, and watch some Bob Ross. It may sound hokey, but it works for me.

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Crazy Hair Day in… 5th grade?

If I do end up being able to fall asleep, I may end up waking up in the middle of the night due to night terrors from PTSD. Here’s the basic rundown of that: My mom and dad met and got pregnant with me so they got married, had me, and divorced. Dad had many girlfriends but never remarried. Mom didn’t either but she only had one really longterm partner. Let’s call him Greg. Greg is the father of my little brother and little sister, both half siblings, and I love them so much it hurts. Well, he mentally, physically, and emotionally abused me for 17 years. After my Dad moved back to Washington from Wyoming, Mom left Greg (not because of this, just a happy accident). My Mom and Dad, after a long few years of drama with Greg, including Greg causing my Dad to get fired, my parents got remarried. It sounds great, but it’s been strange and we are all still learning.

All in all, my life hasn’t been easy, but damn it could make a movie. I’m not sad about anything that happened in my life, nor would I change anything, and I think that may be one of the reasons I’m a Satanist. I use my hardships to create strength and knowledge. I want to change the world because of what I went through. Mental Health is really important to me because I’ve been unable to access it before and life was really hard to get through. But I did it.

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My first MySpace profile picture vs Now

But look at me now! I’m a teacher and a professional lighting designer who just turned 24 years old. I am living with the love of my life and have two cats who are as dear to me as children. I have crazy hair! I have a loving family and a bed to sleep in and food to eat, should I ever get off the couch today.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my past, or anything about me, because I like who I am now, and that’s all that matters.

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Always remember…

HS!

LH

PS. I’m always here when you need me.

I’m Working a Show

It’s called Always… Patsy Cline and it’s at a really cute little venue about an hour away from where I live. It’s a very country-artistic place that has live music downstairs and puts on concerts and plays in the loft of the barn the bar calls home.

A shot of the lighting

Well, I just saw something really cool: somebody crying. This might not seem AMAZING, but it is for me because I’m the lighting designer and operator, so seeing this emotions means I’m doing my job correctly.

Basically, if my lights were bad, people wouldn’t like the show or wpuld be distracted. Plus, if I’m really bad at my job, I wpils end up making the actors look weird, which would lower the quality.

That’s all, my loves. Post on Depression coming later.

HS!

LH

I Love Friday the 13th!

Ah Friday the 13th, a date that strikes terror into the superstitious, and even those who are normally skeptical. I hear people who normally would scoff at those who avoid walking under ladders suddenly start blaming traffic on the date. So what is it about Friday the 13th that makes everybody lose their shit?

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The Last Supper

Well, one of the reasons comes from the Bible. It seems that Christianity thinks that the number 13 is a bad omen since there were 13 guests at dinner and one of those guests, Judas, betrayed Jesus and getting him nailed up. The crucifixion allegedly happened on a Friday. Other major Christian events, such as Cain killing Abel and Eve getting Adam the apple, also happened on a Friday.

On Friday the 13th specifically, there have been a few atrocities that have captured the eye of the easily manipulated and irrational. In 1307, French King Philip the IV rounded up the Knights Templar, a religious and military power charged with defending the Holy Land, so that the King could access their finances.

These stories, along with their uncontrollable persistence of Christians to attempt to inject their beliefs into the lives of people who didn’t ask for it, cause the general public to go around believing that there is something evil about the date.

Other, non-religious, events that people point to as evidence are the killing of Tupac; the crash of an Italian cruise ship that killed 30 people; a bombing at Buckingham Palace; and a cyclone in Bangladesh that killed 300,000 people. These are just some of the occurrences that cause some to believe that the date is cursed.

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A Statue rests at the bottom of a lake in Minnesota 

Another reason people get the creeps about the date comes from pop culture and the rise of Jason Voorhees. What could be scarier than an immortal killer that busts through walls and rises from a lake to commit murder each Friday the 13th? Well, a lot, but Jason is one of the most recognizable horror icons of the age.

While I don’t think people actually believe that Jason Voorhees is going to bust through their door in the middle of the night and slash their throats, I do think they may make it a tradition to watch the movies. This is something my boyfriend and I do sometimes, if there are occasions. We are big horror fans, as you might know if you’ve checked out his blog. Actually, we are doing that tonight with a few drinks and snacks. We like drinks and snacks. I digress… all I’m saying is that people may be freaking themselves out for fun, an that’s great! Movie night!

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My new books!

As a Satanist, I’m feeling extra witchy today! It may be because I recently got my new books, The Satanic Witch and The Satanic Scriptures, in the mail. I think it’s because things are just going my way today. First of all, it’s a Friday, so that’s always great. Secondly, I have a full tank of gas and a full tank of sleep. I’m also looking great, so that’s a plus, and my students were pretty great. It’s shitty weather here, but that’s okay, because it’s tourist season where I work and the wind and rain keeps them away. This is nice because these idiots think its okay to park halfway on the road to look at stupid flowers. It’s really annoying.

I think I also really like the fact that people are so on edge. They are looking all over for what might go wrong and are more susceptible to Lesser Magic. I was thinking of the part in The Satanic Bible where Anton says something about 3:00 am being The Witching Hour, not because it’s a bastardization of the holy trinity, but because most people are asleep that might make it easier to throw curses during rituals.

The next Friday the 13th that rolls around, I’ll be doing a ritual with some friends who are also Satanists. Maybe we will do it at 3:00 am just for good measure.

Well, have a good Friday, my wonderful devils, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

HS!

LH